"The only
reason we got along with our neighbors was because they were retired drunks."
"You mean
they don’t drink anymore, or they are retired AND drunk?"
"Who took
the jelly out of your donut?"
"How do you
catch a unique bird? You neek up on
it. How do you catch a tame bird? Tame way."
"At least
you don’t have to take that rectally."
"Why did I
volunteer myself for this??"
“I’m hot,
and you’re not….so TOP THAT!”
"COUGH COUGH COUGH"