mike stehr:

Well, at least you won't have to dig food out of your couch anymore.  ;)

 

What do you do for snacks, then?

Marvel:

mike stehr:

Well, at least you won't have to dig food out of your couch anymore.  ;)

 

What do you do for snacks, then?

 

I dunno Bruce......I'm not the kid of Oscar's ex-wife.........I scrounge snacks from my own couch!

.

^^ VERY true! Does that sound bitter?

Well, I got to admire your optimism.  Somewhat like Cal, mine has put up with me for 31 years in spite of my foibles . . . . . and i often wonder why . . . . i guess i have some redeeming qualities somewhere . . . . or else she likes beating her head against the wall.

I would urge caution and suggest you take a deep breathe.  There are a lot of good people out there, but there is also a lot of baggage too.  Remember, you are auditioning them; don't think the first one to come along is the only "right" one for you.  Eventually you will find one that is more right than the others . . . . . just don't delude yourself.  Restated, make sure you are in love with her rather than the idea of being in love.  We all want to be needed and loved and cared about by someone special.  You are not desperate - - - - you always got us!

 Good luck, be wise, be safe, and take your time.

By the same token, it is your gig, so feel free to disregard all of the above.  What would be right for me may not be right for you. 

oscarsear...all I can say is good luck...you are not alone...I have been there, done that, may be there again.  Not just the situation, but nearly the exact same issues.  I had a delinquent future step-son...had stuff stolen...he was arrested twice (not related to the stealing from me), routinley found illegal drugs in the house, had our own child...promises of moving out...failed...join the Navy...failed...get a job...failed....still drugs and still stealing.  It was rough...still is....causes a lot of drama...even though my finace is slowly coming around and being more conservative like myself...he is still her son...and I can't compete with that...it has come close to your point before...it probably will again...all I can say is sorry, and good luck next time. ACE

Thanks everyone for your input and support. I always look forward to these forums and the unique audio bonds that weave us together. ace168516, your situation does sound very similar and you have my condolences in having to juggle its conundrums. We all want our kids to have better than we did growing up but we still need to instruct and prepare them to be successful and autonomous adults. I think that goal becomes more challenging with each new generation. My 1st marriage ended after 28 years and I was honestly lost in so many ways. I am better anchored, informed and prepared for this situation now and intend to be a good deal more circumspect.

oscarsear:

I am better anchored, informed and prepared for this situation now and intend to be a good deal more circumspect.

So now you think you know what to do and how women think?  I respect your optimism, but even women don't know how women think... 

Islander:

oscarsear:

I am better anchored, informed and prepared for this situation now and intend to be a good deal more circumspect.

So now you think you know what to do and how women think?  I respect your optimism, but even women don't know how women think... 

I never inferred knowing anything about women. I know more about myself and for that I am optimistic. I have a better foundation from which to work than I did previously. That is all I am relating.

Cal Blacksmith:

.There ARE good women out there, I found one that will put up with me and my issues so I guess I can't falt her for hers I think SHE may have gotten the short end of the stick but she puts up with me anyway!

Ditto.

oscarsear:

Islander:

oscarsear:

I am better anchored, informed and prepared for this situation now and intend to be a good deal more circumspect.

So now you think you know what to do and how women think?  I respect your optimism, but even women don't know how women think... 

I never inferred knowing anything about women. I know more about myself and for that I am optimistic. I have a better foundation from which to work than I did previously. That is all I am relating.

It's good to be optimistic.  And circumspect, too, for that matter.  I thought the winky face would indicate that I was being facetious.  I also know more about myself than I did before.  I just wish I had known what I know now before I met a number of people I spent a lot of time with.  As the saying goes, "too soon old, too late smart..."

We all need someone to annoy and grow old with.

Islander...... Sorry if I knee jerked on your message. It is a problem I am having when it comes to this situation. I am too sensitive. It feels like marriage (or divorce) battle fatigue where you digest everything related with critical discernment. I need to simma down some and relax.

st. patrick:

There are a lot of good people out there, but there is also a lot of baggage too.  Remember, you are auditioning them; don't think the first one to come along is the only "right" one for you

I agree with this, especially the last comment.  I have always looked at it this way....  There might be a single type that is best suited for someone.  Within that type of female, you might find a bunch of candidates (redhead, brunette, bald...).  How absurd is it that we think we found our 'perfect' partner in our situation?  What if instead of living in Tennessee, I lived in New York?  Odds are that my current wife would not be my wife....  but if I were married she would be 'perfect' for me.  More perfect than my current wife?  Or does that mean I've found the right mix and of those in that mix, found one that would put up with me?

It's interesting how we all tend to find our significant others....  geographically.  (always exceptions to this, I know)

 

 

 

Someone needs to come up with a 2 year lease/marriage agreement that either party can opt out of after 2 years if no children are involved without financial penalty.

Or maybe something like a time share condo deal???

I think that I am onto something!!!!!!!!!