Cowasaki, I thought it was a Moootorcycle. Best regards Moray James.

So who's the real tough guy?

How long do I have to live?

Fini's last stay in the hospital...

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                   Black Testicles

 

                                                                                       A male patient is lying in bed

in the hospital,

wearing an oxygen mask over his

mouth and nose,

still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure

A young student nurse appears to give him a

partial sponge bath.

Nurse,' he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my

testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies

'I don't know,Sir.

I'm only here to wash

your upper body.'

He struggles to ask again,

'Nurse, are my

testicles black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles,

she overcomes her

embarrassment and sheepishly

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his

penis in one hand and his

testicles in the other,

lifting and moving them

around and around gently.

Then, she takes a close look and says,

'No sir, they aren't and I assure you, there's nothing wrong

with them, Sir !!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask,

smiles at her and

says very slowly,

'Thank you very much. That was

wonderful, but listen

very, very closely.....

' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - back ?'

That's funny

I've gotta get myself back to the hospital...

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband...
for example...

A wife comes home late at night early from being out of town and
quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

 From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she
can.  Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

"Hi Darling", he says,
"Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom.
Did you say ‘Hello’?”

Better than a Flu Shot!   

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married.. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a   seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old  Hammond   organ, the young  minister noticed a cut glass bowl Sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated. of all things, a condom!

When she returned With tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?

I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said To place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.

Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-a*ss student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ........

'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'