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  1. Yo folks, Modern times have finally come to my village. The first music festival in Okeechobee!! Had a great time and after the hoopla died down, SWMBO, who is the Exec Editor and Publisher of the Okee News tracked me down in the man cave and issued a directive, "You were at Woodstock, you went to the Fest, you are retired and don't do anything useful except work on your novel. So... Get moving and write an article for the on-line version of the Okeechobee News. Make it funny, and compare the so-called good old days of upstate New York in 1969 with the Okeechobee Festival". So... in the interest of being allowed to eat warm food, and keeping my sleeping arrangements confined to the house, I thought about it, and of course... agreed. But I told her I was going to be brutally honest as my memory would allow, and some observations may not be "politically correct". She basically told me just to be nice and not say things that would embarass the Okee News and the "village". First thing I did was "suit up" and take the ZX-14R for it's weekly warm-up and test drive... Just to "warm the cockles", and restore the chemical balances in my age addled brain areas that keep the secrets that you really don't divulge to the better half, love of your life, She Who Must Be Obeyed, etc... I felt so much better, so after stripping off the leathers and the space helmet (on the ZX14R you wear a really, really good helmet just like the SR71 pilots...), I put pen to paper, or fingers to the keyboard. Like I said, modern times in the village... I submitted it yesterday, and SWMBO told me it was great, but she had to do some editing to protect my identity, and..., remove a blatant political attack and "editorially adjust" my uptake on the age old desire for a warm place to "pee", comfortable shoes, and tight... You get my drift. You can "google" the Okeechobee Music Fest. The Okee News "online" edition will have the article (with SWMBO's edits..) by tomorrow. That will be at okeechobeenews.net. The Festival also has a website/ or Facebook page. Bottom line? It was a great success, and it's coming back next year. I had to do a "nom de plume" to avoid privacy issues, so I chose Major Tom instead of "groomlake", etc. Always liked Bowie, especially the whole Ziggy Stardust theme, so I just made it a private tribute to David. Back in the day, I met him after a concert at the "Dome" in Brighton in 1973. Crazy times. Oh well... Enjoy, and next year, think about a visit to the Swamp!! Below is the politically incorrect "unexpurgated" version!! LOL!!! _____________________________________________________________________________________ Memories to Legends to Myths "Major Tom to Ground Control?" Yo!! Tom here!! The orbit degraded, so the escape pod was in order. I still reach out, but it's getting far and few between. Yes… I went to the Okeechobee Music & Arts Fest. Since it's the 21st century, I'll just call the extravaganza the "Fest". In my impending dotage, and of course hoping to see thousands of nubile flower children babes to refresh my memory of Woodstock, I headed over to the Fest. Had to. It was a requirement in my brain. Just one last time, I thought - just for old time's sake. It was a good decision. Pending a couple days and hazy nights in the environs of ChobeeWobee Village for a couple days, I just could not get Woodstock out of my mind. I went to Woodstock for a couple days back in 1969, hitching a ride with one of my friends. It was my last 'hurrah', since my draft number was "0" or worse, and I was due to report to Richmond, Virginia to get on that really happy bus to Fort Polk, Louisiana the following week. Fort Polk… Home of the Combat Infantryman For Vietnam… When your psycho-killer, sociopathic sadist drill sergeants were called "Yogi Bear" and BooBoo", you don't forget that memory; and it sure is a legend now!!! Speaking of memories, for me the whole Woodstock thing was becoming more of a legend than a memory. Worse, some of the legend was fast becoming a myth. The Fest was a good way to see how far things have come since my days as an errant youth. I was pretty errant back then, and according to the love of my life and mother of my otherwise well behaved children.., I still "err", and am still given to "rants" when I can't find my glasses and my morning protein supplements… You get the drift. If you are of the Woodstock generation, you surely see the point, if but hazy and blurred, LOL!!! If you are of the Fest generation, as in the 18-39 year old, socially mobile, economically self sufficient, cell phone cyborgs, you really won't see things much differently when you pull the plug, wish your kids the best, and head off to live in your eco-friendly, all electric RV (with all the necessary amenities!!) In reality, other than the fact that Woodstock was almost 50 years ago, and there were more than 400,000 folks packed into what could best be described as a fishbowl that turned into a mud pit, the Fest was similar in more ways than most can imagine. For the young folks it's a legend; for the old decrepit rockers, it still has memories! The endearing moments that turns back the sands of time are simple. First and foremost, the folks who attended the Fest were of the same mind as Woodstock's "Bethel Fishbowl" of legend. Nice folks. Very nice. For the most part, they were well behaved, courteous to each other, and just there for an honestly good time. There were the few who just insisted that the Fest was a drug tolerance event; but fortunately, most just walked around them as they lay passed out in the dirt clutching their slowly waning "glow bands". There was a lot of "glow things" working in the crowds. Most impressive were the impromtu hula hoop folks and the few that gave a new meaning to juggling acts. Good thing it was not with real fire…They passed out and collapsed with grace and style. A big one for the "memories to legends to myths department" was the strange odors wafting gently through the pines and cabbage palms. Strange? Took a few minutes to tune up the memory banks, but it dawned on me like a "diamond bullet right between the eyes" after a while. Cruising around was ok, but… I was overcome by weird strange desire to claw my way to a vendor and buy vast quantities of macaroni & cheese, smothered with grilled chicken and extra onions, topped with sauces, extra this and more of that… But I was lucky, and I figured out that that smell was second hand smoke screen being layed down by the very powerful "buds" being consumed in massive quatities. I pondered the moment of that epiphany for a minute or two as I inhaled my delicious bowl of goodness. Just like Woodstock, it was again a statement for smoking pot and seeing how rythms affect human behavior when intoxicated… Back in the day, hair was longer, mustaches were "cool", t-shirts were tie-dyed, and some of the liberated babes ran around with no external support. Some of them should have had such "support mechanisms", but when you are 18 years old, hungry like a wolf, such a panorama was impressive! At the Okee Fest, however, the temps were much cooler and the majority of the babe attendees had the common sense to at least wear string bikinis during the day. Good for them - good for me too… Lowered my blood pressure, and my swolen prostate.. That's what happens when the first thing you do when going anywhere more than ten miles away, you do a recon for the batrooms. Did not affect me otherwise as the love of my life and "supervisor" have been happily married for 30 years. I know better. Yes I do!! On that note, Woodstock in 1969 was stink hot, and then it started raining on Saturday evening, and everything turned weird. Don't ever go to a rock concert in an old Buick Roadmaster stationwagon that your so-called friend stole from his father for the weekend. You may be able to slither out from the collective Grand Theft Auto charge that we faced on Monday afternnoon. Oh Yeah… They were wating for him (and me..). For that matter, don’t drive to a rock concert that says they will have 50,00 people and by the time you get there it's more like half a MILLION!!. And never go to an outdoor "Fest" venue without looking at maps… or even better… getting there a day or two early… It took us 24 hours driving straight through, existing on really bad coffee on the refuel operations, together with Ding Dongs, jerky sticks and whatever chips we could find. The closer we got, the worse it was. We finally arrived in the Bethel area on Saturday morning, ended up parking on the side of road about 3 miles away, between a VW van and an old Ford stationwagon covered with paece signs and inhabited by some girls. We all started talking and decided to head towards the concert together. Strength in numbers, I suppose; but it was really strength in misery… The Fest was different!! I knew my way around, knew the secret method to get to Mr. Rosen's farm in Okeechobee, and there was actually parking for the "day visitors". Woodstock never took this into consideration; after all it was a "happening", and "happenings" always turn into logistical nightmares when you have the Who, Jimmy Hendix, etc. on the schedule… The Woodstock "dairy farm", owned by Max Yasgur, was a great venue, but compared to the Okee Fest, the Woodstock festival was simply was not able to accommodate more than the original 50K with tickets. Max died in 1973 (RIP), but sometimes I wonder if the notoriety led him to the early passing. May the Gods and Deities guard his soul well. Woodstock had major problems, all again related to the "numbers". First of all there was NEVER a concert in "Woodstock". Woodstock ended up in Bethel, about 30 miles away… The locals had insanely fought the concert. It was relocated from the different venues as the local governments passed emergency orders, refused permits, and got Governor Rockefeller involved with the National Guard! Sullivan County (where Bethel was located) was were it ended up. Okee Fest, fortunately did not have that problem, and with the exeception of one Okeechobee City Council "dinosaur" with some kind of an agenda, the plan layed out for the entire "happening' was far more organized. Permits, concerns, and services, in the Okee Fest's case were organized far in advance, and resulted in a "smooth" operation. This was evident during the course of the Fest, seein' as how I did not have to go very far for water, places to pee, and otherwise take my mid-afternoon nap… Memories to legends, to myths… Woodstock was a flurry of memories; the traffic, jumping the fence, "babe search" (I was 18, what did you think I was gonna' do!!!?); finding food, water, and hoping like hell that I would "hook up" before the performances that I really wanted to see were gone. The hook up was a girl from Austin, Texas from the stationwagon. All was fine, but it turned to crap on Sunday afternoon. She left with the rest of the staionwagon gang, I never "scored", and I never saw her again. No legend here. For the Fest, these concerns never entered into my scheme of any legend. I went with my beloved - the love of my life!!… I also took my son as a photographer. Gave him a camera, which I never had back in 1969, and turned him loose!! Notwithstanding the Fest' "tech", I had to think about my memories from 1969. Single stage at Woodstock, with some Altec plywood boxes, etc., The Okee Fest had three serious stages in the "Grove", with other stages, most notably in "Jungle 51"… That stage featured e-dance music from 9:00 PM to 9:00 AM. It had a space ship and after a quick visit, I decided that I was really too old for the massive marijuana consumption contest. The winners were the folks, who at about 6:00 AM left standing with the glow-in-the dark hula hoops who could remember their first name after a couple verses of the old time "happy birthday" song… Good thing I got out of there!! My beloved took me home, and after I raided the fridge, pantry and, from what she's telling me, the catfood (at least was Meow Mix!!), I crashed on the front porch… I know this because on Sunday morning the cats were cleaning my beard and asking for more food (Meow?). I'm getting too old for this!! Woodstock had nothing in the way of "customer support"!!! Unless you want to call mudpits, no toilets within easy distance, etc., some form of charcater building… The local "authorities" had banned the porta potty folks from servicing any crappers. Fortunately, the vendors ignored this and there were some around. The Okee Fest fortunately had toilets!!! Lot's of them!!! With toilet paper so people did not have to go get palm fronds to clean up.!!! It's the simple things that make the difference!! At Woodstock they had the "pond". Looking back, I would not have bathed my worst enemy in the pond. At least at the Fest, there were showers set up. Except for the folks who passed out and stayed where they laid down, most folks either took advantage of the showers, or jusr decided to capture the smell and residual high from the marijuana residue which permeated their clothes, hair etc. I'll be honest here… I had no idea who these performing bands were. Not a clue!! Back in the day it was Canned Heat, the Who, Ten Years After and Hendrix. Not this time. No idea. Most were ok at the Fest, I suppose, but just was not what I was looking for. I listened, and the positives did overcome and surpass the details that I would have otherwise complained about. Some of these performers wer really good. But…All other factors being equal, the music in Okee Fest tended to be just too loud. When the festival folks are passing out ear plugs, something is wrong… I am going to be l honest and frank about the music: My music is a memory, surely becoming legend, and when I'm long gone, will be the next rock concert myth. After Woodstock, I went to many concerts for many years. It's still a memory, as it should be. As I walked around at the Fest, it really struck me hard. The Fest was, however, not about me. Music is a terribly subjective experience, and as we get older our tastes and tolerances change. My son and others told me that it was better than sliced bread, and to give credit due, I believe them. On that note, I will still say that I really don't go for hip-hop, rap, etc. No bother, If I did not like that, I wandered down to the other stage where the jazz bands were doing their thing. In 1969 I missed missed Swami Satchi doing the opening, but this time I did not miss "Shakra Bob"… I don't have any idea who Bob was, is, or whatever he may want to be as the result of his metamorphosis… Clearly the Mayor of Crazytown (ChobeeWobee…), Bob gave the Fest a certain mood. Plenty of space, alternate things to do when the hip-hop music just drove one crazy, and a level of "old time hippy" reality that still exists to this day. May the Gods bless them, and Bob… When I first arrived, instinct kicked in…, and I made a beeline to ChobeeWobee Village and the "YogaChobee" sub-division. I arrived just in time for the instructional lesson on Astral Projection and the free tea made from the suspcious mushrooms… I then astral-traveled over to the white inflatable igloo area which was even more interesting (I think we should not talk about this as it was a family friendly event…), and then to the giant "Burning Man" that looked like a welded steel replica of the Stay-Puf dude from Ghost Busters. They burned stuff in the Burning dude at night until he glowed fiery red. They all danceed around, half-nekkid, smokeed even more dope, etc. I swear I did not stay past dark. Really. That's my story, and from what I can remember, I'm stickin' to it!!! I kept asking folks if there was anyone there that was older than me. Apparently, there was one guy with really long gray hair, no teeth, a walker with wheels and tennis balls. It seems that he went to bed over in the YogaChobee area so, out of profound respect, I let him sleep. I trust others will do the same for me next year. Woodstock cost me $20, not including the $50 contribution for gas. It cost me $200 this time, but it was well worth it. Next year it will be even better!!! I'm lucky because I only have to crawl about ten miles to see the Fest. For you oldtimers, it's Carpe Diem. It's worth it. Puts some spring in your step, and at least for a month or two your viagra bill will diminish. Maybe that's a good thing? But the best thing is that you will at least see that your sons and daughters are really not different than you when you were scurrying about 40-50 years ago, trying to make sense of this world. For you young whippersnappers.. go for it; you won't regret it, and it will be your chance to add to collective memories to the legends to then to the myth saga that is the story of all of our lives. Nothing really changes it seems, but in retrospect, the Fest was far better. Ground Control still won't answer me!!! Gotta' run! I don't want to miss next year's Okee Fest!! Out from here, Major Tom.
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