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LOCK YOUR DOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!


winchester21

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No....

But "JB" if you hire a good attorney on a "part of the settlement" contract, they could attempt to sue the zoo for making it easy for you to get to the lions, failing to have adequate after hours security, and anything else that they can think of that might, possibly, maybe, could have, just maybe, prevented you from doing yourself in.

Will it work? Likely not, but...... as an attorney buddy told me.... it does not have to be "reasonable"; all it takes is a civil jury (equals strange folks that are difficult to predict) and enough "witnesses" that can testify to facts that seem to support the claim. Paint the picture that it was all due to a set of unfortunate circumstances that could have been remedied by the defendants, but that they failed to take the appropriate and semmingly reasonable actions.....

Lemme' see here...

  • Did the zoo have a fence with "spikes" or something like that to prevent JB from climbing over?
  • Was there a 24/7 security system?
  • Were the security guards trained properly?
  • Is there anything in the guards' background, work history, etc to show that they may be either unsuited or incompetent, or otherwise unqualified to act as guards at a zoo containing dangerous animals.
  • What were the guards doing when JB got eaten?
  • Was there video surveillance on the fence and other access ways
  • Was there video surveillance on the the high risk animals lions, tigers.
  • My client, JB, was only trying to set them free as everyone knows keeping animals in the zoo is mistreating them...

The list goes on folks. JB's (just kidding of course) medical history, treatement for weirdness (and let's sue the physician who did not medicate JB properly), etc.

  • Oh and let's sue the taxi driver and his company who brought JB to the zoo in the middle of the night.
  • Oh and less we forget, let's interview anybody and everybody who had any contact with JB before he became lion bait and sue them because they did not call the fuzz to report JB's "expedition"....
  • And... the bar owner if JB was drunk and they continued to serve him.

Sound ridiculous? Yes it does, but that's exactly what they will do... because.... that will mean all of the defendants will have to pay attorney fees to interview all of JB's witnesses, examine JB's "evidence" in the case. Hire PI's, etc. and by the time it's ready for trial, the defendants will carefully look at how much everything will cost, even if they win (because JB hasn't got two visible dimes to rub together, having cleverly hidden all of his assets....), and.... settle for medical expenses and let's say about $250k. The attorney gets, say 33% which for basically throwing a legal hand grenade in the toilet, is a nice $85k.... Not bad for about 80 hours worth of work.....

That's why the system is so perverted.

Just kidding Jacksonbart as to you as the plaintiff!!!

You should be safe anyways, the zoo on Pluto only has one dangerous exhibit, and that's the Jovian Ice Monsters from Europa which hate human flesh and won't have anything to do with you even if you slap 'em upside their three heads.....

[H]

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We fight against this also here, not as extreme as in USA but if a bad guy jumps over your fence and on the way over hurts himself it is your fault for not having a safe fence. Also if you have dug a hole and he would fall in and break his leg you are in trouble because you should have prevented anyone from stepping in your unsafe hole, and I am not kidding. The fines are not so outrageous as in the US but it´s still a stupid law, I mean what was he doing in my back yard without my permission??

The world is strange.

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I'll never forget the 500DM fine I could have received many years ago.... for saying what "Goetz Von Berlichingen" actually said in Goethe's drama.... The nice policeman standing by the U-Bahn entrance told me that such public epithets, regardless whether or not the recipient merited it or not, would cost me in the future.... He then instructed me to simply say "GVB"..... [H]

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A 12 gauge Lupara will do the job just fine.

Primary home defence wepon, semi auto 12 gauge with short deer slug barrel and 3 inch magnum shells. First round #4 shot, second in in #2 shot, #3 & #4 are double 00, then subsequent rounds are fletchets and slugs.

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On a lighter note:


AN ACTUAL PERSONAL AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me In Downtown Savannah, night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number, etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
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A 12 gauge Lupara will do the job just fine.

Primary home defence wepon, semi auto 12 gauge with short deer slug barrel and 3 inch magnum shells. First round #4 shot, second in in #2 shot, #3 & #4 are double 00, then subsequent rounds are fletchets and slugs.

I know a woman whos husband recently died and she is selling off his stuff. She has a 10 Gauge coach gun that will do the job more then twice as nice as a 12 Gauge Lupara.

Roger

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Did the zoo have a fence with "spikes" or something like that to prevent JB from climbing over?
Was there a 24/7 security system?
Were the security guards trained properly?
Is there anything in the guards' background, work history, etc to show that they may be either unsuited or incompetent, or otherwise unqualified to act as guards at a zoo containing dangerous animals.

Why would lions need security guards? Aren't lions (and bears, for that matter) well able to take care of themselves in any confrontation? [;)]
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