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I'm such a dufas...


Coytee

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Go to eye doctor...get exam... finally get orders for my first pair of glasses ever. I'm just shy of 50 so like to think that I'm at least reasonably responsible?

Go to the eyeglasses store 2 weeks ago with wife....she picks out a frame. Put the order in. These are costing me about $275. Seems they have a correction for reading as well as some astigimtisim for long distance? (having never worn glasses, I'm not terribly sure exactly what is "wrong" other than age catching up with me)

I go to pick them up today at 2:00. Head home to take dogs out. Leave home to help my brother in law with his PC. Finish helping him and we go out to dinner. Get him back to his place at 8:00 and I've already lost my glasses. I couldn't keep track of them for 6 freaking hours.

Gone

Kaput

No sign/trace of them what so ever.

Looked around his place, nada

Searched car over, nada

Called restaurant, nada


sigh

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You will learn my friend BUT, its never done. I picked up a pair of tri-focal progressive specs before leaving ATL for around $400. We get to the new place and the wife wants to take the kids to the beach at sundown. We get there, it's warm, its fun and the kiddos want me in the water. I take off the specs and t-shirt, roll up the glasses in the shirt and hand them to the wife. A little later I come up and ask for my stuff. I have shirt but no glasses. Flashlights and prayers later, no joy. I am at the mall the next morning spending $600 because I have already used up the insurance for the year.


Sux getting old. Got my first pair at 44 and the boss used to call me up to his office just so he could laugh watching out the window as I attempted climbing the stairs. Yea, that was a hoot.

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Look on top of your head?

[Y]

If he only had some glasses to look for them.

You might need a pair of them old lady style beaded things that go around your neck to catch them if they fall off ?

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Engrave your name and phone number on an inconspicuous spot on your next pair.

doug

PS. "Dufas" is spelled Doofus. [:P]

doofus

Main Entry: doo·fus
Pronunciation: \'dü-f?s, -fis\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural doo·fus·es \-f?-siz\
Etymology: perhaps alteration of 1goof
Date: 1960

slang : a stupid, incompetent, or foolish person

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Look on top of your head?

Yes

If he only had some glasses to look for them.

You might need a pair of them old lady style beaded things that go around your neck to catch them if they fall off ?

Yep the 1970 High School English teacher. She was NOT hot.

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PS. "Dufas" is spelled Doofus. Stick out tongue

doofus

Main Entry: doo·fus
Pronunciation: \'dü-f?s, -fis\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural doo·fus·es \-f?-siz\
Etymology: perhaps alteration of 1goof
Date: 1960

slang : a stupid, incompetent, or foolish person

Now don't go gettin all techinical on us, were all dun with that learnin stuff ! [:S]

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At your (our) age, you most likely just need reading glasses. I bought 4 pair at the drug store for $19.95. You can loose them and not feel the monetary crunch of prescriptions. I just leave a pair wherever I normally need them (work bench, kitchen table, work) so they're there when I need them. I also have a pair to carry around if necessary. After about a year of wearing them I decided to have my eyes checked by a professional, just in case. He recomended the readers that I had been using for the last year.

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You might need a pair of them old lady style beaded things that go around your neck to catch them if they fall off ?

Ok, I'm really embarassed now... because I told myself this morning, "when I get these found or replaced, I need to get one of those things that go around your neck"

hmmm....

Of course, I'd rather mine have plastic flowers rather than beads... [:^)]

Good news though... I looked closer in the car and they had worked themselves under the seat. I had them in my shirt pocket so I have zero idea how they fell out...and wormed their way down. I looked everywhere last night (between seats) but, in the dark, couldn't really see under the seat.

whew

Now...where do I get one of those beaded chains...

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At your (our) age, you most likely just need reading glasses. I bought 4 pair at the drug store for $19.95. You can loose them and not feel the monetary crunch of prescriptions. I just leave a pair wherever I normally need them (work bench, kitchen table, work) so they're there when I need them. I also have a pair to carry around if necessary. After about a year of wearing them I decided to have my eyes checked by a professional, just in case. He recomended the readers that I had been using for the last year.

The Doc said I do need reading glasses. He also said something about astigmatism and I guess that affects distance? The two however, blend within each other somehow (remember, I don't really understand most of this) and if you are going to have these issues, he said my issue was a good mix.

He has an opthamolilc friend who is going to have laser surgery done. He is going to use the laser to bring his vision paramaters to the type that mine are because it is a good blend. I stopped... and reworded it. I asked him "you mean your friend is going to pay to have his vision shaped, similarly to what I already have for free?"

Answer was yes. I don't know what does what but I think either the reading needs, helps the astigmatism or perhaps, the astigmatism helps the reading needs.

Bottom line... I've gone from never wearing glasses to a bi-focal.

I had them in while driving home yesterday and must say.... the distance vision is now laser sharp. I've always been able to read signs at a distance. My wife complained that I can see without glasses, better than she could WITH hers on. Now that I have that slight correction, it's a very interesting experience for me to flip back/forth (or look over them) and see the trees on the horizon or street signs 2 blocks down the road.

Without them, I can still make out branches or signs down the road. I can even read some of the signs but honestly, it's more pattern recognition than 'seeing' the words. When I look through them, now I can actually make out the letters in the sign 2 blocks down the road. (and these aren't the HUGE billboard signs I'm talking about, I'm talking more about traffic signs, store signs...)

Can't use them when I'm on the computer. They actually screw up what I see.

This is an interesting experience.

Doofas [8-|]

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Good for you, Richard. But you really don't have to be all that careful. They'll be happy to make as many pair as you need...

My glasses are 20 months old. Six months ago, the anti-scratch coating got scratched (WTF???) and began flaking off. They'rer real fun to look through, now. I guess I should take my own advice (above)...

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Yes it is, it's called OLD AGE, but don't feel bad not everyone gets to experiance it, and the alternative is worse. Geeked

10 years ago I had my first real eye exam since high school. My eyes have always been good and they were better than 20/20 then. The Dr. asked if I've ever worn glasses and I told him no. He said that there were 2 types of people that he sees at his practice. People who wear glasses, and people who will wear glasses.

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Coytee:

If You Don't Feel Old Yet...READ
THIS...

"$5.37." That's what the
kid behind
the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into
my pocket and pulled
out some lint and two dimes and
something that used to be a Jolly
Rancher. Having already
handed the kid a five-spot, I started to
head back out to
the truck to grab some change when the kid with the
Elmo
hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to
me:
"It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I
turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the
sound of
change hitting the counter in front of me.
"Only $4.68," he said
cheerfully. I stood there
stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet, a
mere child! Senior
citizen?

I took my burrito and walked
out to the truck wondering
what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind?
As I sat in the
truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I
opened the door and headed
back inside. I strode to the counter, and
there he was
waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he

held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I
could be
that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't
get too far without your car keys,
hey?" I stared with utter disdain
at the keys. I began
to rationalize in my mind: leaving keys
behind
hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!


I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key
into the
ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I
checked my keys and
tried another. Still nothing. That's
when I noticed the purple beads
hanging from my rearview
mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from
my rearview
mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into
focus. The car seat in
the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all
over the
floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.


Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the
alien
vehicle. Moments later I was
speeding out of the parking lot,
relieved to finally be
leaving this nightmarish stop. That's when I
felt it,
deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach
growled
and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was

nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my
courage, and strode
back into the restaurant one final time. There
Elmo stood,
draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think

was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could
say was, "Did I
leave my food and drink in here?"
At this point I was ready to ask a
Boy Scout to help me back
to my vehicle, and then go straight home
and apply for
Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I
walked back out to the truck, and
suddenly a young lad came up and
tugged on my jeans to get
my attention. He was holding up a drink
and a bag. His
mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck
by
mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy
and
sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK.
My
grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of
this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in
a 40. Yes, I was
racing some punk kid in a Toyota
Prius.. And no, I told the officer,
I'm not too old to
be driving this
fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway
down
the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300

speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and
covered up
my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully
found my way home.

-*-*-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*

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