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The Three Things That Suck Most About the Beatles


thebes

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Today's news reveal the not-so-surprising information that once again, the Beatles conglomerate is releasing yet another special, super-duper, best-of-all-times, music-for-the-ages-eureka-we're-greedy box set. With, surprise-surprise, plans already under way for yet another box set for release next xmas season.

To my mind the Beatles are collectively the worse boy band ever concocted and that includes the Back Street Boys.

So herein are the 3 biggest things, amongst dozens, on the suck-fest that constitutes the Beatles:

1. Thievery. Look, I know everyone borrows a bit from everybody else, but the Beatles never even came close to having an original music thought. They stole from rockabilly, they tried to steal from the blues, but were too pathetic to even come close to making blues. they stole from 1930's and 1940's British music hall bands, and when they ran out things to steal they went to India and like the progenitors of The British Raj, stole from the Indians.

2. Treacle. There is no other word to adequately describe the depths of blandness accruing to the Beatles. Norwegian wood, or Woodenhead, as I think of it, I wanna hold your gland, yellow submarine. I refuse to use caps for these songs since they lack anything approaching a capitol idea. Pah a curse on them all and it's a good thing their progeny has even less talent then they did. The most insipid lyrics ever penned fall squarely within the Beatles firmament.

3. Nice boys. Buncha mamas boys. The kind we used to use as cat's paws to distract parents when we were trying to sneak into their collective daughters panties. Even when they became hippies they became nice hippies. Probably used napkins to wipe their mouths after eating Alice B brownies.

Pah! A pox on the Beatles and their latest box set.

Edited by thebes
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Well I see our resident Crusty Curmudgeon has awoken from his long winters nap and apparently someone has pi$$ed in his Wheaties. The Beatles & their legacy have morphed into a far ranging conglomerate, and I have no interest in buying any of these releases of out takes, bootlegs and early air checks. Lennon's legacy has taken a bit of a bruising over the years and McCartney has relaesed plenty of objectionable material. However without question the Beatles remain the single most important rock band to grace the idiom.

I put it to you Sir Thebes that the Beatles material was so far superior to most bands that the 20th 0r 25th best song in their oeuvre is better than the best song released by 90% of all the rock bands in history. Let's see which of their songs would fit that bill? Ticket To Ride, Revolution, She's Leaving Home, If I Needed Someone, Drive My Car, Magical Mystery Tour? I would think most rock historians would exclude these songs from their top 10, but yet considering the drival that constitutes the ouput of most other rock bands, including plenty of those voted into that travesty of a "Hall of Fame", these tunes crush the best output of the also rans.

As a stocking stuffer for Mr. Thebes I would recommend the book the Portable Curmudgeon which might make an appropriate substitute for the well deserved lump of coal. Merry Christmas.

Edited by Stephen Schaffer
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Elvis is the KING, the beatles were ok I reckon. What ticks Roost off is the fact that Elvis outsold those guys by a long shot but the recording industry didn't start counting sales overseas until like 1960, if they had E would be waaay over a billion records sold. As it stands now E is close to a billion, theres a faction of guys in the industry that has vowed to straighten this out, I don't know how they can go back to the 50"s and figure this out but its said to be in the 3-400 million sales. The only beatles I have ever owned is the white.......Roost

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Elvis is the KING, the beatles were ok I reckon. What ticks Roost off is the fact that Elvis outsold those guys by a long shot but the recording industry didn't start counting sales overseas until like 1960, if they had E would be waaay over a billion records sold.

Going third person this early in the morning. Gonna be a long day.

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This thread is a thinly-veiled attempt by the OP to wrest the 'Forum Queen' title back from Amy.

Resist! Don't fall for it!

As in most cases, 'tis better to protest with your wallet than to leave a watery diatribe on a less-than-high traffic interweb forum.

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Well I see our resident Crusty Curmudgeon has awoken from his long winters nap and apparently someone has pi$$ed in his Wheaties. The Beatles & their legacy have morphed into a far ranging conglomerate, and I have no interest in buying any of these releases of out takes, bootlegs and early air checks. Lennon's legacy has taken a bit of a bruising over the years and McCartney has relaesed plenty of objectionable material. However without question the Beatles remain the single most important rock band to grace the idiom.

I put it to you Sir Thebes that the Beatles material was so far superior to most bands that the 20th 0r 25th best song in their oeuvre is better than the best song released by 90% of all the rock bands in history. Let's see which of their songs would fit that bill? Ticket To Ride, Revolution, She's Leaving Home, If I Needed Someone, Drive My Car, Magical Mystery Tour? I would think most rock historians would exclude these songs from their top 10, but yet considering the drival that constitutes the ouput of most other rock bands, including plenty of those voted into that travesty of a "Hall of Fame", these tunes crush the best output of the also rans.

As a stocking stuffer for Mr. Thebes I would recommend the book the Portable Curmudgeon which might make an appropriate substitute for the well deserved lump of coal. Merry Christmas.

Curmudgeon? Why you whippersnapper. I’m way too old to be labeled with such a youthful sobriquet. “Your Decrepitude” has a more august ring to it.And another thing, how can you possibly call the world’s #1 pop band a rock-and-roll band? I’d Roll Over Beethoven but they stole that from somebody else.

Better rock bands? Just about everybody. Start with The Stones, then go from there. Hell, Bob Dylan and Paul Simon, a couple of folkies, have written far better, and mostly original material, than the mob-haired pretenders could even dream about.

Want more proof. Here’s the top 3 Beatles song by sales:

1. She Loves You

2. I Want to Hold Your Hand

3. Can't Buy Me Love

Grumpy Thebes

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Oh Thebes you senile old geezer, everyone knows the Stones were "The Greatest Rock & Roll Band !!!" Let's face it everyone ripped someone off, with Chuck Berry being the guy the Stones and a myriad of other bands used as their template. Dylan stole from Woody Guthrie, Elvis borrowed from Big Mama Thornton, and everyone stole from Louis Jordan! :)

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