Jump to content

The Three Things That Suck Most About the Beatles


thebes

Recommended Posts

Today's news reveal the not-so-surprising information that once again, the Beatles conglomerate is releasing yet another special, super-duper, best-of-all-times, music-for-the-ages-eureka-we're-greedy box set. With, surprise-surprise, plans already under way for yet another box set for release next xmas season.

To my mind the Beatles are collectively the worse boy band ever concocted and that includes the Back Street Boys.

So herein are the 3 biggest things, amongst dozens, on the suck-fest that constitutes the Beatles:

1. Thievery. Look, I know everyone borrows a bit from everybody else, but the Beatles never even came close to having an original music thought. They stole from rockabilly, they tried to steal from the blues, but were too pathetic to even come close to making blues. they stole from 1930's and 1940's British music hall bands, and when they ran out things to steal they went to India and like the progenitors of The British Raj, stole from the Indians.

2. Treacle. There is no other word to adequately describe the depths of blandness accruing to the Beatles. Norwegian wood, or Woodenhead, as I think of it, I wanna hold your gland, yellow submarine. I refuse to use caps for these songs since they lack anything approaching a capitol idea. Pah a curse on them all and it's a good thing their progeny has even less talent then they did. The most insipid lyrics ever penned fall squarely within the Beatles firmament.

3. Nice boys. Buncha mamas boys. The kind we used to use as cat's paws to distract parents when we were trying to sneak into their collective daughters panties. Even when they became hippies they became nice hippies. Probably used napkins to wipe their mouths after eating Alice B brownies.

Pah! A pox on the Beatles and their latest box set.

Here we go. Back on topic.

"Ain't nothin' but a party!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Beatles were my first real rock band. My best friend probably had everything they ever did on 45s. We would spin that stuff on his little BIC turntable and Radio Shack Mach 1s. It was awesome. I fell in love while listening to the Beatles (I think some Jefferson Airplane was on the record player too), smoked my first joint while listening to the Beatles, worked on my first engine while digging on the White Album, and can say that there isn't a single song, not one -- that I don't like. I sobbed when Lennon got shot, again when I heard about Harrison, and my heart broke for Paul when Linda left. I watched most of the special choking back tears. The band is like my life clock, and a part of me thinks that maybe when the last Beatle leaves, I might not be far behind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Beatles were my first real rock band. My best friend probably had everything they ever did on 45s. We would spin that stuff on his little BIC turntable and Radio Shack Mach 1s. It was awesome. I fell in love while listening to the Beatles (I think some Jefferson Airplane was on the record player too), smoked my first joint while listening to the Beatles, worked on my first engine while digging on the White Album, and can say that there isn't a single song, not one -- that I don't like. I sobbed when Lennon got shot, again when I heard about Harrison, and my heart broke for Paul when Linda left. I watched most of the special choking back tears. The band is like my life clock, and a part of me thinks that maybe when the last Beatle leaves, I might not be far behind.

Am I a failure as a music enthusiast (avoiding the A word)? Or is it the curse of my generation (I'm 32)?

I have some favorite albums and bands, but cannot pinpoint a single entity which has this much influence or sentiment in my life. Music is just, well, music.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Beatles were my first real rock band. My best friend probably had everything they ever did on 45s. We would spin that stuff on his little BIC turntable and Radio Shack Mach 1s. It was awesome. I fell in love while listening to the Beatles (I think some Jefferson Airplane was on the record player too), smoked my first joint while listening to the Beatles, worked on my first engine while digging on the White Album, and can say that there isn't a single song, not one -- that I don't like. I sobbed when Lennon got shot, again when I heard about Harrison, and my heart broke for Paul when Linda left. I watched most of the special choking back tears. The band is like my life clock, and a part of me thinks that maybe when the last Beatle leaves, I might not be far behind.

Am I a failure as a music enthusiast (avoiding the A word)? Or is it the curse of my generation (I'm 32)?

I have some favorite albums and bands, but cannot pinpoint a single entity which has this much influence or sentiment in my life. Music is just, well, music.

As long as you have a sense of humor you will never be a failure.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here's my point. I remember listening to tons of music in Jr./High School, and still listen to those bands today. I remember having great listening sessions with my dad and his vinyl collection. I remember the first time i smoked weed. The first time I fell in love. I remember working on my '76 BMW 2002. But I couldn't tell you what music was playing at the time.

I find great beauty and enjoyment in music and the act of sitting and listening is very cathartic, but I cannot find a single spiritual connection towards an artist or band weaving through my life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's possible Mark. My nephew has music on a lot of the time but it is not the same for him. He is close in age to Michael. I'm sure everyone has their favorites and a memory or two, but the younger guys are different. I introduced him to lp's, he agrees the sound is richer, but it is still too much bother for him to listen that way very often. A lot has to do with the method required, but a lot more I suspect is access. He doesn't have all that stuff on vinyl instead its in or through the machine. With him and his friends, music is a social enhancer, or a background for some activity, but not something they would enjoy in and of itself in a dedicated setting.

Edited by oldtimer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Beatles were my first real rock band. My best friend probably had everything they ever did on 45s. We would spin that stuff on his little BIC turntable and Radio Shack Mach 1s. It was awesome. I fell in love while listening to the Beatles (I think some Jefferson Airplane was on the record player too), smoked my first joint while listening to the Beatles, worked on my first engine while digging on the White Album, and can say that there isn't a single song, not one -- that I don't like. I sobbed when Lennon got shot, again when I heard about Harrison, and my heart broke for Paul when Linda left. I watched most of the special choking back tears. The band is like my life clock, and a part of me thinks that maybe when the last Beatle leaves, I might not be far behind.

Now Dean, it's a real stretch to call the Beatles a rock band, they were nothing but pop, although I'll grant they did try to stretch their limited talents a few times in their later efforts. However, compare their stuff in1964 etc. to what else was available at that time and there is no comparison.

I mean you've got The Animals,The Stones, Dusty Springfield, The Supremes, Chuck Berry, Dionne Warwick Roy Orbison etc. all coming out with chart toppers and don't get me started on soul, R&B, blues and jazz greats playing that year.

I understand that you like them, and had an emotional attachment to their music. That's all well and good. After all memories, good, sad, bittersweet, and sweet are, more than dates on a calender the true markers of our lives. Music is a wonderful identifier to memory. Songs can bring us right back to a place and time, and event or person. I'm all for it.

But in the cold light of day, there was so much more out there that were far, far better.

Now the best pop music I enjoyed back in the that day were songs like The Animals," We've Gotta Get Out of This Place", Righteous Brothers, "Unchained Melody", "Them", "Here Comes the Night". For me that's great pop music not that insipidly, schmaltzy "I want to Hold Your Hand".

I wonder if Lawrence Welk ever covered any Beatles songs. I'd be right up their alley.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...