BigStewMan Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 On 4/7/2018 at 6:17 PM, Zen Traveler said: I normally don't follow this thread but saw Big Stew's anecdote on the timeline and felt similarly until I joined Facebook a couple of months ago. @Mallette is the only FB Friend whom I've never met and 20 of the 30 people I limited myself to "friend" I hadn't had personal contact since there was an internet. That said, you mentioned earlier that you hadn't had a substantive conversation on the Forum and it reminded me that most of the important conversations I've had in the last 15 years actually had been here. {Of course not here in the Lounge. ;)} 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted April 8, 2018 Moderators Share Posted April 8, 2018 15 minutes ago, BigStewMan said: I really have to know people before i can be relaxed around them ... can’t tell you how many events i’ve went to and spent most of my time standing to the side people-watching. I have no problem being relaxed, but sometimes it's more fun just people watching, and you can sometimes learn alot about someone without talking to them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted April 8, 2018 Moderators Share Posted April 8, 2018 3 hours ago, WillyBob said: looked safe enough for a guy in a sarong. You really do that ? 1 hour ago, WillyBob said: close to being "a respected member" of the community. Crazy, but harmless. We set the bar pretty low. I think the sarong and hair is what gave them the "crazy, but harmless" thought. But your a respected member of the community, at least there not watching out for you, that's a different kind of crazy. But be careful, a sarong is the first step. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richieb Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 1 hour ago, WillyBob said: please don't expect "substantive conversation" from me I'm about as deep as a teaspoon. I am the same IRL crazy enough to walk into a bar full of biker while wearing a sarong... --- there's no way to account for crazy. I'm certain they would cut you wide path - . And as I recall you have mentioned dressing in a sarong before. I think I will be with the boys cutting you that path - is your wife aware of this "desire" ?!? 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Traveler Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 1 hour ago, BigStewMan said: Hey Zen ... nice to see you slumming in the lounge. Actually, that is what I am doing because small talk isn't something I am good at. Quote if it’s not too personal a question ... are you an outgoing person? Honestly, I have shared my experiences in this forum for almost 18 years and my pic on my profile is from one of my 6 trips to Switzerland so I think anyone paying attention would say "yes." Quote A Type A personality? I’m so not Type A. I really have to know people before i can be relaxed around them ... I refuse to label myself and will let others judge. Quote can’t tell you how many events i’ve went to and spent most of my time standing to the side people-watching. I’ve been at public events and actually seen people that I grew up with and I don’t go over and say anything. DUDE! I am a big people watcher and have posted webcams and experiences in the real-world on this forum for......wait for it---almost 18 years! Quote All of my current friends are ones that i made as an adult. Sometimes i see someone i know out in public and I think to myself that i should go over and say hello; but, i rarely do ... every once in a while I will. That’s actually something that i don’t like about myself. strange thing is that i’m pretty well liked by most of the people that i have encountered; yet i’m still painfully slow to engage. Wow. I guess after 18 years I can share as well....Outside of one all of my current friends I too acquired as an adult. I am also recognized a lot in public with folks that aren't necessarily friends, but have a reaction when they see me. Gotta admit that sometimes makes me uncomfortable but, getting back to your first series of questions I am an "outgoing personality." Quote I’m that way with family too -- i don’t see my sisters very often; but, one sister remarked when i finally saw her at a gathering, “I’m not even going to ask you how you are ... because you won’t tell me.” Okay. This is further than I want to go but will say thoughts I've shared here go as deep as any I've had with anyone other than my wife for the last 18 years and why I haven't just faded away with the demise of the BS Forum. Anyway. Hope that helps in understanding me better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Traveler Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 1 hour ago, dtel said: 1 hour ago, BigStewMan said: I really have to know people before i can be relaxed around them ... can’t tell you how many events i’ve went to and spent most of my time standing to the side people-watching. I have no problem being relaxed, but sometimes it's more fun just people watching, and you can sometimes learn alot about someone without talking to them. As mentioned, I am a natural "people watcher" and my recent experience on Facebook makes me thing Cambridge Analytica has nothing on me insofar as psychological profiling of people go! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 On 4/7/2018 at 7:53 PM, Zen Traveler said: Anyway. Hope that helps in understanding me better. . 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvel Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 3 hours ago, dtel said: You shouldn't need a neuter at your age no matter how cheap it is, just say no thanks. I was going to ask "which war"... 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptorman Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 1 hour ago, WillyBob said: please don't expect "substantive conversation" from me I'm about as deep as a teaspoon. I am the same IRL crazy enough to walk into a bar full of biker while wearing a sarong... I hope nobody says the saying...."pics or it didn't happen" 1 hour ago, dtel said: I have no problem being relaxed, but sometimes it's more fun just people watching, and you can sometimes learn alot about someone without talking to them. Yea I think we learn much more looking and listening than we do talking....that's why I don't say much....... wait....what 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Traveler Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 11 minutes ago, BigStewMan said: i’d still buy you a beer. Actually, i asked a poorly worded question. I shouldn’t have used the word “outgoing.” I have a couple of friends that the minute they meet you they act as if you’re a long lost friend. The “nobody is a stranger” type of person. They can have a conversation with anyone, anywhere, anytime -- and do. That totally isn’t me. Now, after you get to know me, you want me to shut up; but, it takes a while to get to that level. Thanks and I would do the same for you. That said, I am friendly enough and everyday put myself in situations where I have to appear as you suggest...Sometimes it is real and sometimes it is not. That said, I am comfortable being who I am and am fortunate that I'm not easily manipulated nor appear to be in person or on the internet. I also am not good at small talk or talking about myself and understand that is an art in it's own. You guys have a good one and thanks for letting me participate. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 On 4/7/2018 at 8:26 PM, Zen Traveler said: I also am not good at small talk or talking about myself and understand that is an art in it's own .. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillyBob Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 9 hours ago, dtel said: You really do that ? I think the sarong and hair is what gave them the "crazy, but harmless" thought. But your a respected member of the community, at least there not watching out for you, that's a different kind of crazy. But be careful, a sarong is the first step. Yes, I really did. I have a few things going for me 1] I might be crazy and react unpredicably 2] I'm old 3] It's not nice to pick on someone that might be "handicapped". for the record. My wife gave me the sarong. I call it my Asian kilt. That where the bikers drew a distinction. ... kilts have leather and chains... And suggested some leather. I had fun ... and I am sure I gave them something to talk about HaHHa 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtmudd Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 5 hours ago, BigStewMan said: I think you’re right. When being advised as to how to be more engaging, i’ve been told, “Talk about yourself.” I’m better at asking others questions about them. If we were having a beer right now, i’d be asking you all kinds of questions about your travels in Switzerland -- that place is on my bucket list. The red light district 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtmudd Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 I just thought of the progressive insurance commercial . Don't become your parents... I just realized that ... I'm doing what my father Does in morning... He warms his coffee cup... Under hot water Before he pours his first cup.. Now I do the same thing now ... 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillyBob Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 I catch myself being Leonard [Dad] and laugh/curse myself.All of us [kids] laugh about doing a Leonard. this coffee is going down good today. 'Wonder what I did wrong... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarheel Posted April 8, 2018 Author Share Posted April 8, 2018 A random thought about coffee drinkers and dads. I recall the days when folks would go to stores and pay their bills and often I would accompany my father as he went to Sears, Belks, Western Auto, and JC Penneys. That chore was always followed by a stop at Walgreens for a cup of coffee at the lunch counter. A cup was a nickel with free refills and he usually had two warm ups 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtmudd Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 3 minutes ago, Tarheel said: A random thought about coffee drinkers and dads. I recall the days when folks would go to stores and pay their bills and often I would accompany my father as he went to Sears, Belks, Western Auto, and JC Penneys. That chore was always followed by a stop at Walgreens for a cup of coffee at the lunch counter. A cup was a nickel with free refills and he usually had two warm ups I remember western auto.... Had a location here ... it closed in the mid 80s 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillyBob Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 We had them here, too. Usually attached to a YellowFront store. this is what I wore into the bar this what you can call a "fashion statement" HaHaHa 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarheel Posted April 8, 2018 Author Share Posted April 8, 2018 My late wife was as outgoing as anyone I've ever met. She would talk with strangers as long as it took to make a connection to the small town she was from. I remember us going to a get together and her talking with a lady from Yugoslavia who spoke very little English. Julia must have chatted with her for thirty minutes and probably left the lady wondering "what just happen"? Funny that Julia had a nephew that was just like her and then there was his brother who was as socially awkward as anyone you could meet. Trying to figure out how those two peas from the same pod turned out so different. The outgoing brother was scattered and always laughing and maybe not as intellectual while the awkward brother was smart, MA in Russian History, and worked for the FBI. He always made me cringe seeing him stand by himself at a family gathering, hands in his pockets, and deflecting attempts at small talk. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtmudd Posted April 8, 2018 Share Posted April 8, 2018 31 minutes ago, WillyBob said: We had them here, too. Usually attached to a YellowFront store. this is what I wore into the bar this what you can call a "fashion statement" HaHaHa Nice beat up pair of clarks 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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