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Marvel

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I started dating a homeless woman. It's getting kind of serious, she just asked me to move out with her.

 

 

Did you hear about the mother who injected her daughter with botox? She lost custody of the child. When they showed the daughter on TV, she didn't look upset.

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Honesty in Marriage 101
 

After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, the unhappy husband finally confronted her.

"Admit it, Linda. The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me $10 million."

"Don't be ridiculous," she replied. "I don't care who left it to you."
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A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. 

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?

“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age."

His friend is really amazed and asks him how much younger he told her he was.

"Actually, I said I was 87!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

A man ran into his doctor's office one day, all excited. The nurse asked him what was the matter. "I have something wrong with my pecker," replied the man.
The nurse told him that he couldn't enter the office yelling things about his private parts & requested that he go back outside, enter the office again & say he had something wrong with, say, his ear. The patient went outside and returned.
"I have something wrong with my ear." 
"And what exactly is wrong with it?"
"I can't piss out of it," came the man's reply.

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