Moderators dtel Posted April 20, 2019 Moderators Share Posted April 20, 2019 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veloceleste Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 . 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TasDom Posted April 21, 2019 Share Posted April 21, 2019 Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza? No sir, it's Google's Pizza. Did I dial the wrong number? No sir, Google bought this pizza store. Oh, all right - then I’d like to place an order please. Do you want the usual? The usual? You know what my usual is? According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust. Okay - that’s what I want this time too. May we suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead? No, I hate vegetables. But your cholesterol is not good. How do you know that? Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years. Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol. But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. Four months ago you purchased a box of only 30 tablets from Drugsale Network. I bought more from another drugstore. It's not showing on your credit card sir. I paid in cash. But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash. I have another source of cash. This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source. WHAT THE HELL! ENOUGH! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me. I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport . It expired 5 weeks ago. 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Bieri Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 1 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosco-d-gama Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 Jack, a handsome man, walked into a pub and sat up at the bar next to a blond gal and stared up at the teevee. It was the six o’clock news and there was live coverage of a man poised to leap off a building. “Do you think he’ll jump”, asks the blond. “Thirty bucks says he does”. Whereupon Jack lays 3 tens on the bar. “You’re on” says the blond, but before she could get her money out the man dives off the building. “Well a bets a bet”, and she hands over the cash. “No, I can’t take your money. I saw the news earlier and I knew he was gonna jump”. The blond says, “so did I but I didn’t think he’d do it again.” Jack kept her money. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnKuthe Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 Ever make up your own joke? I've made up two, both incredibly filthy so I won't share them here! Sorry! :-) John Kuthe... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
veloceleste Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 . 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosco-d-gama Posted May 1, 2019 Share Posted May 1, 2019 2 great white sharks spotted the survivors of a sunken ship in the distance. “Follow me son and do like I tell you.” The 2 sharks approached the people bobbing in the water. The dad shark instructed his son to swim around the group showing just the tip of your fin. When they’d done that the dad told his son to circle the group once more showing his entire fin..... and they did. “Now eat them all.” After devouring the hapless prey the son asked his dad, “why did we have to swim around them, why not just eat them?” “Son they taste better if you scare the 💩 out of them 1st.” 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted May 2, 2019 Share Posted May 2, 2019 Even though we all know it's NOT vinyl it ALWAYS goes well with a mugga! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBCODD Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosco-d-gama Posted May 12, 2019 Share Posted May 12, 2019 Geology ‘rocks’ - but - geography is ‘where it’s at’ 🤓 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 Tonto. Tonto Goldstein; but my friends call me Boudreaux. 🤣 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 Parrot sez, I got him over in Pine Bluff; they've got them over there by the thousands. 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 On 5/2/2019 at 10:47 AM, Dave1290 said: Even though we all know it's NOT vinyl it ALWAYS goes well with a mugga! Target Rich Environment 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJkizak Posted May 20, 2019 Share Posted May 20, 2019 A man and his wife were going to take a ride in a horse driven carriage when the horse bucked up and whinnied. The man got out of the carriage and went to the front of the horse and looked him in the eye and he said, "That's one". He went back into the carriage and immediately the horse whinnied and bucked up. The man went to the front of the horse again looked him in the eye and said, "That's two". He went back into the carriage and the horse whinnied and bucked up again. The man went back to the front of the horse and pulled out his gun and shot the horse in the head. The man went back into the carriage and his wife asked him why he shot the horse. He replied, "That's one". JJK 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted May 21, 2019 Share Posted May 21, 2019 On 8/31/2016 at 9:58 PM, Jeff Matthews said: LOL! If I can just teach that frog to make biscuits, she's outa here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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