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3 hours ago, RandyH 000 said:

I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. “This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure,” the anesthesiologist reassured me. I felt better, until … “Heck,” he continued, “you have 
a better chance of dying from the 
anesthesia than the surgery itself.”

True story.

I had a surgical procedure in which I had a local anesthesia and was fully awake. The doctor told me that I could bring in reading material if I wanted, so I brought in the sports page. I do remember reading that Carney Landsford of the Oakland A's went three for four in the previous night's baseball game -- for some reason, I kept reading that sentence over and over until I gave up trying to read. 

The doctor asked if it was okay for three medical students to observe the procedure. I said sure. While he doing the procedure, he's telling the students how many lab animals he killed in school by giving too much anesthesia.  I interrupted him and asked, "hey doc, how much did you give me?"  

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A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her. The customer, clearly looking to save a few bucks, said, “The package doesn’t have to get there till Saturday. Is there any way to make that happen?” Billy nodded. “Sure. You can bring it back tomorrow.”

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In San Diego to work with military linguists, my colleague and I checked into a hotel and ordered a 5 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, the phone didn’t ring until 5:30. “You were supposed to call us at 5 a.m.!” I admonished the desk clerk on the other end of the line. “What if I had to close a ­million-dollar contract this morning? Your oversight would have cost me the deal!” “Sir,” he said calmly, “if you had to close that type of deal, I doubt you’d be staying in this type of hotel.”

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A local charity had never received a donation from the town's banker, so the director made a phone call. "Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven't given a penny to charity," the director began. "Wouldn't you like to help the community?" The banker replied, "Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?" "Um, no," mumbled the director. "Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister's husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?" "I … I … I had no idea." "So," said the banker, "if I don't give them any money, why would I give any to you?"
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If your name is on the building, you're rich; if your name is on your desk, you're middle-class; if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

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When I worked for the County once upon a time, an angry called was berating me about some policy that they felt wasn't right. I finally told him, "do you really think the guy answering the telephone has the power to change policy?"

 

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Thinking about building a new place  :)

 

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1 hour ago, Dave1290 said:

Thinking about building a new place  :)

 

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Hey Dave ... if you need to save some space, get rid of the bedroom and put a sofa bed in the hi-fi area. 

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45f6hm.jpg

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.

 

th (1).jpg

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I put an elk in my freezer last year.

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Well that would take a whole different size, like storing a horse.

 

th (2).jpg

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1816290968-funny_stuff_-_oh_hell_no.jpg

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13 hours ago, dtel said:

Well that would take a whole different size, like storing a horse.

 

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That's a nice Parisienne, my dad bought a 64 4 door in maroon with a black interior. Was a very nice car.

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6 hours ago, moray james said:

That's a nice Parisienne, my dad bought a 64 4 door in maroon with a black interior. Was a very nice 

Bonneville wannabe.   Lol.

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11 hours ago, moray james said:

That's a nice Parisienne, my dad bought a 64 4 door in maroon with a black interior. Was a very nice car.


That one has a pink interior.

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