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Who was it that said "I spent all my money on booze, broads, and boats, and the rest I wasted?"

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18 minutes ago, oldtimer said:

Who was it that said "I spent all my money on booze, broads, and boats, and the rest I wasted?"

 

Birds, and squandered. 

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Elmore Leonard.  La Brava.

Also from Elmore Leonard:

 

“Elmore Leonard's Ten Rules of Writing

1. Never open a book with weather.
2. Avoid prologues.
3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.
4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said”…he admonished gravely.
5. Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose.
6. Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose."
7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.
8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.
9. Don't go into great detail describing places and things.
10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.

My most important rule is one that sums up the 10.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”
Elmore Leonard

 

8 and 9 are egregious faults of George RR Martin

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44 minutes ago, oldtimer said:

Who was it that said "I spent all my money on booze, broads, and boats, and the rest I wasted?"

I lived it :emotion-19:

 

but I didn't start with very much money.

:mellow:

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9 minutes ago, oldtimer said:

 

A six pack, a ****, and a jon-boat?

 

A little better than that. A pretty nice 28' Chris Craft Cruiser. The main problem was't the boat, booze or the women :wub:

It was the depressing marina fee...$2,500/yr x 10 years I was there. Great memories, but I'd like to have the money back. 

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Anyone here......anyone?

Mech shirt.png

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2 hours ago, Weber said:

A little better than that. A pretty nice 28' Chris Craft Cruiser. The main problem was't the boat, booze or the women :wub:

It was the depressing marina fee...$2,500/yr x 10 years I was there. Great memories, but I'd like to have the money back. 

I thought we had a new member.  You messed me up with the avatar switcheroo. 

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4 hours ago, Weber said:

A little better than that. A pretty nice 28' Chris Craft Cruiser. The main problem was't the boat, booze or the women :wub:

It was the depressing marina fee...$2,500/yr x 10 years I was there. Great memories, but I'd like to have the money back. 

That must have been a while back.  That's what I paid 20 years ago for my 31' Chris Craft.  It's over $6K now for the same boat!  Every year I write the check, grumble for about an hour, and then forget about it and enjoy life.  The booze helps too.

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A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog.

Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?”
Rancher: “This dog don’t talk!”
Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going?”
Dog: “Doin alright”
Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)
Cowboy: “Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)”
Dog: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How’s he treat you?”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.”
Rancher: (Look of disbelief)

Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Rancher: “Horses don’t talk!”
Cowboy: “Hey horse, how’s it goin?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)
Cowboy: “Is this your owner?” (pointing at rancher)
Horse: “Yep.”
Cowboy: “How’s he treat you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.”
Rancher: (total look of amazement)

Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?”

Rancher: “Them sheep ain’t nothing but a bunch of damned liars!!!

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14 hours ago, Weber said:

You're joking, right? 

I wish I was joking.

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On 6/30/2016 at 10:02 AM, MetropolisLakeOutfitters said:

A Kentuckian and a Hoosier was fishing on the banks of the Ohio River.  Kentuckian invites the Hoosier over to his side, saying the fish are biting and they're bigger over here anyway.  Hoosier says no thanks, he's got a couple nibbles plus he's got no way of getting over there.  The Kentuckian, laughing to himself, says well, how about I just shine the flashlight over there, and you can walk over on the beam of light.  The Hoosier thinks to himself for a minute, then in all seriousness says no, I know you Kentuckians, I'll get halfway across and you'll turn the flashlight off.   :wacko:

As a Hoosier, we leaned some jokes also.....what do bear cubs and girls from Kentucky have in common? They both like to lick their paws:)

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2 young women, were having coffee after a long night of partying, discussing the nights events . 

The brunette says "i must have drank a lot. I'm usually kinda shy, but last night I did a Brazilian."

Her blonde friend was shocked, and said "THATS A LOT!"

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