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I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table..
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

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Big shout out to my fingers: I can always count on them.

Give them a hand.......

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On ‎9‎/‎6‎/‎2018 at 6:25 PM, Woofers and Tweeters said:

I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table..
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

James,

You're a real comedian LOL

Isn't it nice having a new audience? My friends can call the joke out by number in the routine😁😁😁

 

Mark

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On ‎6‎/‎29‎/‎2016 at 12:09 PM, Marvel said:

So... there used to be a nice joke thread. Anyway, this may be a repeat...

 

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. At the front door Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in.

'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' he says.

'That''s cool.' says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.'

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says, 'Whaaaat?'

'Yeah,' says Peggy Sue''s father, 'Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!'

Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear as he mentally revises the night's plans. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door while Dad is saying, 'Have a good evening, kids!'

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father: 'Dammit, Daddy! The twist! It's called the twist!!'

Bruce,

Look at what you've done, pages of jokes we can't tell in public. Now we can't tell jokes online for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

So I'll go ahead and start...……………………….

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41 minutes ago, ZEUS121996 said:

Bruce,

Look at what you've done, pages of jokes we can't tell in public. Now we can't tell jokes online for fear of hurting someone's feelings.

So I'll go ahead and start...……………………….

 

=== the snowflakes will be just fine. Let them gather thoughts in their own safe space hopefully reassured the world won’t be so mean, nasty and unfair. When they re-emerge they will find the real world still exists - mean, nasty and unfair. Jokes on them —

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We all know someone who constantly uses the word "unfair."  Too bad he doesn't know what it really means.

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4 minutes ago, richieb said:

 

=== to whom are you referring, pray tell — ?

No!!!!!!  Don't bait him.  He's been in agony lately, speaking in riddles about verboten subjects.  That's just Oldie suffering forum burn-out. 😁

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6 minutes ago, Jeff Matthews said:

No!!!!!!  Don't bait him.  He's been in agony lately, speaking in riddles about verboten subjects.  That's just Oldie suffering forum burn-out. 😁

 

=== gon’ fishin’ - instead, of just,  a wishin’ ( Harold Ensley)

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