Jump to content
The Klipsch Audio Community
Marvel

Jokes?

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, Jeff Matthews said:

No!!!!!!  Don't bait him.  He's been in agony lately, speaking in riddles about verboten subjects.  That's just Oldie suffering forum burn-out. 😁

Consider the source from one who posts hippo sharts. (and a lawyer)...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, oldtimer said:
2 hours ago, Jeff Matthews said:

No!!!!!!  Don't bait him.  He's been in agony lately, speaking in riddles about verboten subjects.  That's just Oldie suffering forum burn-out. 😁

Consider the source from one who posts hippo sharts. (and a lawyer)...

At least you won't hear me talking about _______.  You know I'd never talk about ______.  If you think ______ is a fool, you didn't hear it from me.  I'd never mention ______ on this forum in a million years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, oldtimer said:

LOL, a good drummer would have caught that---it was a segue to lawyer jokes.

Lawyer jokes are offensive.  

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is brown and sticky?

.

.

.

.

A stick

 

All ages approved and still bordering on a 💩 joke. Perfect for you jokers

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK.  enjoy.

 

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her t|+$ are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

 
 
 
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here is on I ran across:

 

"My girl, Ginger, is going to die of syphilis," mumbles an angry
biker to one of his buddies. 

"No," says the friend, "people don't die of syphilis anymore." 

The angry biker replies, "They do when they give it to me!"
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Drum roll.......I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.  I said, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely!  Most tables would have collapsed by now."Image result for laughing smiley gif

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mrs. Johnson goes to a brand-new gynecologist. He examines her.
He says, "My God, Mrs. Johnson, that is the hugest ****** I have ever, ever seen."
When she gets home, she decides to have a look for herself. She takes down a huge mirror off the wall, puts it on the floor, takes off all of her clothes, and stands on the mirror. She's just about to look down when her husband walks in early from work.
He says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "Ummm...I'm just exercising."
He says, "Well, be careful not to fall in that big @ss hole in the floor."

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is the difference between a clam digger with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea?

 

 

The clam digger shucks between fits.

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2 hunters shoot a deer. As they are celebrating the kill clouds gather, then part and and angel comes down from heaven and scolds the 2 men for needlessly killing one of God’s innocent creatures. The 2 men heave their guns as far as they could, drop to their knees and beg for mercy, the angel assents and vanishes. Amazed and awestruck the 2 head  back to camp. Along the way they see a bear and the bear gives chase. It wasn’t long before they knew the bear was winning so they stopped dropped to their knees once again and prayed, “Lord make this bear a Christian”. At that moment the bear stopped and stood erect, it’s paws reverently reaching for heaven and the bear said, “Lord thank you for this meal I am about to eat”.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...