Dave1290 Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 While riding my bike yesterday, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?" As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for... "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look. She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.” "That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!" "Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly." Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this." We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now." "Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?" "Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess." 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtr20 Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinball_pw Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 I was at the bank earlier. Two men came in wearing masks. We all panicked! They said this is a robbery and we all calmed down. 1 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilC Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 26 minutes ago, Jeffrey D. Medwin said: What did one earthquake say to the other?? Don't blame me, it wasn't my fault. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 39 minutes ago, Dave1290 said: Dude ... I was just at a couple of stores and saw the same thing, and asked myself that very question. funny, I see this one gal at the checkout--hands to her nose clearly not concerned about germs; then this old man wearing a mask and gloves, with a bunch of bananas sitting in the seat portion of the shopping cart (or as someone in the grocery industry told me that part of the shopping cart is referred to as the dirty diaper receptacle). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 3 hours ago, dtr20 said: At my wedding, for ushers, I wanted monkeys that knew karate. they could hand out the programs and double as security. Yes, I'm divorced now. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgar Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 On 2/28/2020 at 3:14 PM, Dave1290 said: (Norton 2003 AntiVirus) How will 2003 antivirus protect me from Covfefe-2019 virus? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 I was asked if I would rather have a 9" penis and $90 in the bank, or a 3" penis and $3 million in the bank. I couldn't see the downside and answered I'd rather have the $3 million and two extra inches. 2 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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