BigStewMan Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Do you consider other forum members as friends? I was listening to a radio show on NPR during my drive home today. A lady was telling about how she had invited friends to her daughter’s wedding and some didn’t come (no reasons given; but, I got the impression that they just didn’t want to attend). She said that caused her to realize that she had more acquaintances than friends. I started to do some self-evaluation. I admit that I don’t think I have many friends. I know A LOT of people and seem to be well-liked. This guest on the radio show talked about her friends and how she’ll get on an airplane when a friend’s mother died so she could be there to console her. Not something that I’ve experienced much in my life (there have been four instances that I can think of during my entire, crazy, event-filled life). Worse is that I wondered how good of a friend am I? I think there is more to it than just picking up the tab—and it’s that other stuff that probably really matters. If we log onto the forum and have a PM from someone saying that they’re in our area, car broke down or some other trip casualty and need help – are we friends that will sacrifice our time and/or resources to help; or are we just acquaintances? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billybob Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 You betcha there BSM! On the way... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T2K Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 As life rolls on you will be notified by friends and you will be able to easily count them up. For instance, a friends children graduate from high school. You get an invite to their graduation party and go spend a hundred or two on cash or a gift. Same thing for their next child. After a few years you're through with that. Then, coupla years later they all get married. There come the invites for multiple teas and showers and the opportunity to buy china or whatever. Then they all have kids. More invitations. You decide to work a couple of years longer to add a few more dollars to your IRA. A gift to yourself, friend. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USNRET Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Screw a buncha friends; I have you guys. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derrickdj1 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Sure you can have friends on the forum. Some people know each other outside of the forum. Others have been over each others house, or to a ballgame. There are various grades of friend and that determines what you will or will not do based on that friendship. Some friendships only last a season, it all depends. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WMcD Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Maybe you've answered the question in a way by your quote that suspicion creates what is suspected. What you've suspected is incorrect and is an incorrect notion. Yes, we are more than acquaintances here. No issue there in my view. If you suspect we are not more than acquaintances, you have misjudged two things. I sense estrangement in your message. One is the extent to which we value you being here. We do. The other is the extent to which you've contributed. You have. There is a great line in a Jefferson Airplane song with Grace Slick singing. "I take great ease in you sitting there." We read and type on this forum and take great ease that we're all sitting here. WMcD 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I like you Steve but can't we just be friends? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USNRET Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 1 minute ago, CECAA850 said: I like you Steve but can't we just be friends? Do you have 'protection '? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Smith Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Carl and I are such good friends that I'll be down south with a trailer at first news of a fever.. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 2 minutes ago, USNRET said: Do you have 'protection '? I'm good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvu80 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I'm not big into labels but my frame of reference is the Circle of Intimacy, Circle of Trust, whatever, there are bunch of these. I just picked this one at random from a website. I haven't seen those Trust Circles updated for the internet, but there are people who connect via social media and they can become very close to each other even though they haven't met. Those feelings are very real. Quote If we log onto the forum and have a PM from someone saying that they’re in our area, car broke down or some other trip casualty and need help – are we friends that will sacrifice our time and/or resources to help; or are we just acquaintances? To directly answer the question, "yes" if any of you broke down on the road near my house, I'd drop what I was doing and bust my butt to help you right away. And upon inspection, yeah, I'd probably put you up for the night at my house. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZEUS121996 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 13 minutes ago, CECAA850 said: I'm good. I don't think he meant protection as in CCL, more along the lines of TROJANS Dave's circle with intimate is what he meant, I think Mark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 2 minutes ago, ZEUS121996 said: I don't think he meant protection as in CCL, more along the lines of TROJANS Mark I'm good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZEUS121996 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 1 minute ago, CECAA850 said: I'm good. You're no fun! Mark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallette Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Anyone on this forum who asks for my help within my ability to do so has my attention. Over the years many here have helped me one way or the other, some going way over the top. I owe, and am ready to pay. Dave 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Travis In Austin Posted December 30, 2016 Moderators Share Posted December 30, 2016 1 hour ago, BigStewMan said: Do you consider other forum members as friends? I was listening to a radio show on NPR during my drive home today. A lady was telling about how she had invited friends to her daughter’s wedding and some didn’t come (no reasons given; but, I got the impression that they just didn’t want to attend). She said that caused her to realize that she had more acquaintances than friends. I started to do some self-evaluation. I admit that I don’t think I have many friends. I know A LOT of people and seem to be well-liked. This guest on the radio show talked about her friends and how she’ll get on an airplane when a friend’s mother died so she could be there to console her. Not something that I’ve experienced much in my life (there have been four instances that I can think of during my entire, crazy, event-filled life). Worse is that I wondered how good of a friend am I? I think there is more to it than just picking up the tab—and it’s that other stuff that probably really matters. If we log onto the forum and have a PM from someone saying that they’re in our area, car broke down or some other trip casualty and need help – are we friends that will sacrifice our time and/or resources to help; or are we just acquaintances? Yes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 33 minutes ago, WMcD said: If you suspect we are not more than acquaintances, you have misjudged two things. I sense estrangement in your message. I was more just curious as to how others view other forum members. If I’m telling a story about something that i’ve read on the forum, i often say “this friend of mine said...” I’m cool with referring to each other as friends and was just curious how others felt...i’m not on Facebook or anything like that; but, have heard people say stuff like “well, we’re Facebook friends...” as if they aren’t actually friends. Estrangement? Now that is interesting and i’m probably going to agree with you. I feel estranged to most everything. Never have felt like i “fit in” anywhere. i think 99% of the people that i’ve met in my life like me -- yet, i never feel part of any group. People invite me places, say i’m “cool,” and yet I always feel like an outsider. I’m sure it’s my fault--i’ve had people scold me for always turning down invitations, and it’s not because i don’t like the people--probably my social anxiety taking over. Sometimes i’m afraid that i won’t live up to what people think of me, so it’s easier to just avoid. oh well, probably more revealing than intended. radio show was interesting and got me to thinking. 23 minutes ago, wvu80 said: And upon inspection, yeah, I'd probably put you up for the night at my house. is there is minimum number of post requirement for overnight visits and a hot meal? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I vote dysfunctional family 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted December 30, 2016 Moderators Share Posted December 30, 2016 7 hours ago, derrickdj1 said: Sure you can have friends on the forum. Some people know each other outside of the forum. Others have been over each others house, or to a ballgame. Or a vacation in the mountains, cruises , kayaking, trips together to Arkansas and Florida, to each others houses for holidays, have met the rest of the family including parents. This not even including just getting together to have a good time, like this weekend. So yea, it can happen, none of it planned to turn out like this but once you become friends it just sometimes grows. Like last summer, I would have never guessed last year we would have ever been in Arkansas for over 10 weeks total, my last 2 birthdays with the same crowd up there,(that was rough) stuff just happens sometimes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted December 30, 2016 Moderators Share Posted December 30, 2016 6 hours ago, BigStewMan said: is there is minimum number of post requirement for overnight visits and a hot meal? Not really, just be a normal decent person, if not you will not last long before being asked or physically removed, and I use the term "normal" loosely, how could I not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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