Protect young people

[DizRotus]

As an alumnus of Michigan State University, as well as a former prosecuting attorney, I have followed the disturbing allegations against Larry Nassar, a doctor recently fired as a team physician with the MSU women's gymnastics team, very closely.   It appears MSU failed to protect young women and girls from the predatory acts of Larry Nassar, similar to Penn State's failure to protect young boys from Jerry Sandusky.

 

Rsponsible adults must be alert to even the possibility of abusive situations.  The innocence we enjoyed, somewhat naively, in the 50s and 60s should be long dead.  DO NOT PERMIT ADULTS TO BE ALONE WITH YOUNG PEOPLE.

 

Any adult who permits one on one unwitnessed contact between another adult and a minor is ignoring a serious red flag.  Any adult who allows himself, or herself, to have one on one unwitnessed contact with a minor is a fool, a predator, or both.

 

In 1975 I taught driver education.  We would NEVER be alone in a car with a single student, male or female, it made no difference.  That sound policy protected students and instructors.  The possibility of predation, or false allegations of predation, were all but eliminated by the constant presence of a witness.  Any adult who would risk the appearance of impropriety, in my opinion, would only do so because the opportunity to prey on young people outweighed the risk.

 

A physician, male or female, who examines minor patients without a witness present is a fool or a predator.  Do not trust your children to either.

 

I can just hear the, "Yes but . . . " replies.  Yes there are situations that are exceptions to the rule, but be alert.   Mrs. Sandusky failed the young boys allowed to sleepover and "play" with Jerry alone in the basement.  The parents of those boys failed to protect them.  The adults who permitted Larry Nassar to examine young girls and young women without a witness present failed those victims.

 

As responsible adults, we must seriously question any situation where an adult is eager, or even merely willing, to be in a potentially compromising situation with a lone minor.  The potential for harm is too real.  Unfortunately, we must be cynical regarding people we used to trust: clergy, teachers, coaches, doctors and even Uncle Fred.  We must protect those unable to protect themselves.

 

[Seadog]

Good advice.  Seems like weekly we hear about a teacher, coach, priest, etc. (people we used to trust without question) engaged in inappropriate (or worse) activity with youth.  Is the problem worse that it was in past decades, or do we just hear more about it now?

[Rivervalleymgb]

As a victim of childhood sexual abuse by a scoutmaster and another man, everything you say is true. The biggest problem is that adults find the topic taboo and don't want to discuss it. My mother had heard of allegations on the scoutmaster so she forced my dad to be an assistant thinking that would solve any likely problems. My dad was too naive to understand anything about a problem like this. It didn't work. 

[DizRotus]

On 2/15/2017 at 8:04 AM, Seadog said:

 Is the problem worse than it was in past decades, or do we just hear more about it now?

 

I think it's both.

 

In hindsight, I question the Boy Scout leader of our troop in Cincinnati in the 50s and 60s.  Why would a young single childless telephone worker want to go camping with young boys?  While I have no knowledge of any improper activity, the lens of hindsight makes me question why, on our monthly camping trips, the leader and patrol leaders had a campsite away from the campsites of the individual patrols.  We were instructed not to make surprise visits to the leaders' campsite unless someone was seriously injured.

 

Today, I hope, this would not be tolerated.

[T2K]

 

There are exceptions. Years ago I took my nephew fishing regularly. He was 7 or 8 years old and his Dad, my brother, was 'busy' working. Today he is married and has kids and still loves to fish.

[DizRotus]

1 hour ago, T2K said:

 

There are exceptions. Years ago I took my nephew fishing regularly. He was 7 or 8 years old and his Dad, my brother, was 'busy' working. Today he is married and has kids and still loves to fish.

 

Yes, there are exceptions.  Clearly, there was no reason for your brother to be concerned.  What you did was appropriate and good for your nephew.

 

Not every uncle, or aunt, is equally above concern,  Probably the vast majority of similar encounters were not inappropriate.  The risk of allowing any makes it worthwhile to consider taking a nephew and a friend.

 

The norm used to be to only be concerned if something seemed wrong.  Today, the norm should be to question any situation that places one adult with one minor in a private setting, especially those involving non-family members.  

 

When a non-family adult tolerates, if not encourages, being alone with a minor, alarms should sound.  I'd like to see a PSA (Public Service Announcement) that stresses this point.  Perhaps it could say, "You're not alone."    By stressing the protection offered to both adults and minors, the stigma might be reduced.  Honorable adults should not mind the level of security provided by a witness.  Predators would mind.

 

Such a PSA would, inevitably, prompt people to come forth to describe abuse from the past.  It could also prompt false allegations of prior abuse.  The ultimate goal would be to make such unsupervised private encounters the rare exception, rather than the rule.

 

PSU and MSU were in positions to challenge unsupervised private encounters between adults and minors.  They failed.  How many similar situations are repeated around the world?

 

We need to negate the argument,  "We didn't know anything improper was happening."  The impropriety should be the very opportunity, irrespective of the intentions of the adults.   Trustworthy adults should understand the need for an abundance of caution. Untrustworthy adults will find it more difficult to prey on minors.

[-js-]

Neil - all very well said.  and I agree on all counts.  as a former Scoutmaster as recently as 2-3 yrs ago, the BSA now has policies in place that, when followed, safeguard against these things.

 

in some ways, it's an awful, AWFUL world we live in nowadays.  I also agree that back in the day, maybe we did not have to worry as much as we should now - not as many threats then as now.  nor anywhere near as much data, information, publicity or attention back then as now.

 

very well stated Neil.  and thanks for speaking out.  we should get behind a PSA or something very much like what you suggest.

[dtel]

6 hours ago, DizRotus said:

 We must protect those unable to protect themselves.

 

1 hour ago, DizRotus said:

Trustworthy adults should understand the need for an abundance of caution.

Exactly

 

13 minutes ago, -js- said:

in some ways, it's an awful, AWFUL world we live in nowadays.  I also agree that back in the day, maybe we did not have to worry as much as we should now - not as many threats then as now.

Or they are just caught more because more are watching ?   It was also hidden more in the past, family's covered it up, young pregnant girls were sent off to live with with a relative, or they just covered up molestation, they were just embarrassed of what others would say, so many times nothing was really done.

 

 

[-js-]

1 minute ago, dtel said:

 

Exactly

 

Or they are just caught more because more are watching ?   It was also hidden more in the past, family's covered it up, young pregnant girls were sent off to live with with a relative, or they just covered up molestation, they were just embarrassed of what others would say, so many times nothing was really done.

 

 

 

IDK.  and I'm not sure it matters that much WHAT the difference between then & now is, except where it applies to vigilance NOW, taking proper precautions NOW & going forward

as I am trying to teach my 14 y/o son, who's had his share of minor issues re school behavior & claims he's falsely accused (aren't they all?)  if you don't want to be accused, then you need to take EVERY precaution against even the APPEARANCE of impropriety.  that would keep you above reproach.

 

anyway, sorry, drifted off topic.  but yes, @dtel, in the past I would bet that there was more 'cover up' than now. and also more people watching now, which is a VERY GOOD thing IMO

[richieb]

 

--- And I see Sanduskys son, adopted I believe, has been arrested for the same. One must wonder if he wasn't subjected to abuse from his father? And on it goes ---. And he is a prison guard, I would suspect this guy will have a real tough time in prison?

Too bad, and although it really is, so sad. Should have seen what his father purpatrated and then has gone through. Many lives ruined through just this one case ----

[dtel]

59 minutes ago, -js- said:

more people watching now, which is a VERY GOOD thing IMO

Yes

To me there is no excuse, there are plenty people out there who are willing to do just about any crazy thing you could think of, so there is no reason to involve kids.

If kids are your thing, it's not right, no exceptions ever.  imo  

[-js-]

55 minutes ago, dtel said:

Yes

To me there is no excuse, there are plenty people out there who are willing to do just about any crazy thing you could think of, so there is no reason to involve kids.

If kids are your thing, it's not right, no exceptions ever.  imo  

 

agreed.  no excuse in the world can justify that kind of junk.  at our house, we watch a lot of crime drama type of shows on tv.  it's terrifyingly sad the topics they come up with, and the deeds depicted on tv.  (but we watch anyway - that's a different story)  but real life is just as bad if not worse

[CECAA850]

13 minutes ago, -js- said:

 

agreed.  no excuse in the world can justify that kind of junk.  at our house, we watch a lot of crime drama type of shows on tv.  it's terrifyingly sad the topics they come up with, and the deeds depicted on tv.  (but we watch anyway - that's a different story)  but real life is just as bad if not worse

They're normally not very creative.  Unfortunately they take a scenario from real life, twist it slightly and make a show about it.

[-js-]

1 minute ago, CECAA850 said:

They're normally not very creative.  Unfortunately they take a scenario from real life, twist it slightly and make a show about it.

 

I don't disagree re creativity; just haven't thought that much about it.  I suspect that you are right on the money tho.

[Ceptorman]

I read once that when a Mom with daughters and has a new boyfriend, her daughters are 20x more likely to be abused by the non biological male in the house.

That's alarming.

[DizRotus]

There will be a segment regarding Nassar's victims on "60 Minutes" Sunday at 7pm EST.  I've got the DVR set to record it.

 

Good people must make it difficult, if not impossible, for the Nassars and Sanduskys of the world to prey on innocent children.

 

How many Michigan State or Penn State situations are still out there?  If adults are permitted to be alone with unrelated minors, it should STOP.  The very opportunity should result in, at a minimum, a reprimand.  Good people must be willing to insist upon standards that prevent predators from having unsupervised access to minors.

 

 

 

 

[CECAA850]

Ugh.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/celebrity/larry-nassar-former-usa-gymnastics-195105546.html

[DizRotus]

As an alumnus of Michigan State University, I sent an email to MSU President Lou Anna K. Simon urging her to turn over the investigation to an independent agency, rather than the MSU Police.  The school has already failed the young women athletes.

[Ceptorman]

There's a huge search for a savage killer in Delphi, northwestern Indiana. 13 and 14 year old girls were found murdered. One of the girls was smart enough to get a video of a man they think can be a suspect, she took some pics also. It's all over our TV, and Lester Holt mentioned it on the NBC nightly news. I am confident the killer will be caught. A very sad story.

[DizRotus]

I saw that.  You would like to think that two teenage girls could hike on a public trail in safety.  I hope the girl's quick thinking to record and photograph the assailant pays off.

 

As sad as that is, it's a different scenario.  Two teenage girls should feel safe, and should be safe, in a public space.  My concern now is to raise public awareness regarding the impropriety of adults being alone with unrelated minors in private situations.  Responsible adults should insist upon a chaperone or witness.  Failure to do so should raise an alarm.  If this protocol becomes the rule, rather than the exception, institutions like MSU or PSU will not be able to hide behind the lame defense, "We didn't know" that Nassar or Sandusky were abusing minors.  Make everyone accountable.  If you know that adults are in one on one private situations with unrelated minors, you know that a potential crime is being given the opportunity to be perpetrated.  DO NOT TOLERATE IT!