Jump to content

how do you get motivated? I need tips.


BigStewMan

Recommended Posts

You did have an "end game" that was accomplished. You are able to "retire" and you realized the need to leave SoCal. Two missions accomplished! I can only imagine your mind spinning with many thoughts and with a type of buyers remorse. You managed two life changing events simultaneously - retiring and relocating. And you basically did it alone. That would play with anyone's day to day perception of "what just happened" or "what did I do". 

I agree with Jimbo on taking care of yourself and/or exercise. The day after I retired I started walking 5 miles a day, every day. That at least gives you a perception of purpose every morning. Just don't let the abundance of idle time steer you in destructive directions. Reason enough to keep idle time as fulfilling as possible. Hang in ---

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your problem sounds like your world got small. When you dont go out for a while your experience here on Earth becomes limited to seeing the same 4 walls. Since you have no fresh stimulation you lose the ability to appreciate your guitars etc because you always see them and can always wait until tomorrow to pick them up. Since you have spiraled down to the point you are at so far, doing something big like a substantial hike in the mountains is too big of a hurtle to climb. So, start with something small to break out of those walls.

 

Go for a walk.

 

Seriously, dont plan on where you are going just open your door, pick a street and start walking. Check out your immediate surroundings the first few times then maybe google maps a nearby park and make it a point to walk there. Walk every day nomatter the weather. I used to work in a hellhole grey cubicle doing Online Enrollment for insurance and the only thing that kept me sane was to spend my full lunch hour walking. Literally days I would come back drenched from a downpour but I HAD to take my walk.

 

Walking is great for a number of reasons. First you dont need much equipment like you would a bike or other exercise. It is extremely accessible as you literal just walk out the door. Also, it does something to you psychologically. Every step you take takes you closer to something cool, new and fresh. But every step is also a step you will have to take to get back. But that is the crux of it, you know you need to walk back but your will and inspiration drives you to whatever destination.

 

Soon, you will see even little stuff like a squirrel climbing a tree or a dude playing a guitar on the street and he will make you think about the passion he has to put himself out there in public to play simply for the love of it and when you get home you will see your guitar and that same love that street performer has will well up inside you as you pick it up with a new appreciation.

 

Seriously, even for the first time just go around the block- go for a walk.

 

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.”

 

 

 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, BigStewMan said:

i’m reduced to decaf.  Developed a heart rhythm issue and doctor said caffeine can trigger it, so i stopped caffiene intake. 

They just said on the news that caffine lengthens your cardiovascular life span. Get another doctors opinion.

JJK

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm also someone that benefits from walks. Most times when I find myself in a funk, no matter how deep, I'll walk on as many consecutive days as it takes to feel better. That strategy is also why I'm somewhat of an idiot, since I usually stop walking daily once I feel better...

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Put on some arousing music and pace around the room until something starts to write itself. 

 

Or 

 

Think of some social change you would like to see happen, and go out and help make it happen.

 

Don't be afraid to see a shrink if you can afford one.

 

I have Afib, and in addition to warfarin, the doctor put me on Zoloft, saying it wouldn't hurt me.  Perhaps that is true of other, similar drugs.

 

Go where there are a lot of people and try to get into a long conversation -- a coffee shop (decafe), a college, a community center, a municipal lake, etc.

 

Where did you move to? 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, BigStewMan said:

i’m reduced to decaf.  Developed a heart rhythm issue and doctor said caffeine can trigger it, so i stopped caffiene intake. 

Just out of curiosity did your cardiologist prescribe a rhythmic med? If so did these feelings start around the time you started taking it. Anticoagulants can be a real pain, warfarin especially, but the BP meds and rhythmics are worse. I took a rhythmic for 9 months, it made me feel terrible mentally. I couldn't figure it out until I missed a couple doses due to a weekend pharmacy refil issue. I was back to normal in a week after I stopped taking it. Hope you feel better

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

yeah doc prescribed dilatizem after the episodes started happening more regularly. less often while on meds.  i don’t feel any side effects. she didn’t say it was caffiene only that caffeine can trigger them--i was a heavy caffiene drinker--drank diet coke all day long at work. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, garyrc said:

Put on some arousing music and pace around the room until something starts to write itself. 

 

Or 

 

Think of some social change you would like to see happen, and go out and help make it happen.

 

Don't be afraid to see a shrink if you can afford one.

 

I have Afib, and in addition to warfarin, the doctor put me on Zoloft, saying it wouldn't hurt me.  Perhaps that is true of other, similar drugs.

 

Go where there are a lot of people and try to get into a long conversation -- a coffee shop (decafe), a college, a community center, a municipal lake, etc.

 

Where did you move to? 

left Southern California Beach and moved to the middle of nowhere called central oregon.  

i went through nuclear stress test on the treadmill and passed with flying colors. Cardilogist said no heart disease. i was getting these PVCs that were lasting, nearly continuously for hours.  Super Bowl sunday they started at 3:00pm and it was near constant until late on Monday. I actually went to the ER monday afternoon because that thumping feeling starts to hurt after a while. They saw the PVCs but said no heart attack and sent me home. Doc upped the dosage of Diltiazem (Cardeziem i think is the same thing). i still get a few of the skipped beat feelings each day; but, haven’t had a prolonged episode for a few months. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes man, I mean BSM! Let it come to you good buddy! Your on track bigtime. When I want to get motivated I put that mundane stuff front and center. 

Like to run from it till it catches up man. I mean, run from it mans, I mean...:lol:

Who wants motivation when you are sitting on top of the world...B)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, BigStewMan said:

left Southern California Beach and moved to the middle of nowhere called central oregon.  

i went through nuclear stress test on the treadmill and passed with flying colors. Cardilogist said no heart disease. i was getting these PVCs that were lasting, nearly continuously for hours.  Super Bowl sunday they started at 3:00pm and it was near constant until late on Monday. I actually went to the ER monday afternoon because that thumping feeling starts to hurt after a while. They saw the PVCs but said no heart attack and sent me home. Doc upped the dosage of Diltiazem (Cardeziem i think is the same thing). i still get a few of the skipped beat feelings each day; but, haven’t had a prolonged episode for a few months. 

Diltiazem is one of the meds I was taking. I was supposed to take it in the morning. After It took effect each day I felt like a zombie, it messed with my word recall and short term memory. I started taking it at night and it only slightly helped.  My heart felt worse taking this than without it. I also took propophenone which made me angry and anxious. Very anxious. I would rather take Coumadin and have my blood drawn every week than ever take those meds again.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I am in a negative mindset I say to myself "what is one thing I can do to improve this situation?" It is not about perfection or an immediate solution. It is about improvement. Relentless improvement in any form. Give yourself credit for each improvement no matter how small it my seem at the time. Great buildings were built one brick at a time. 

Remember that you are always one decision away from a different life. You see how your recent move changed your life. Your next decision could be your best and maybe only possible because of where you are now.

 

Keep on rock'in in a free world.......NY

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 minutes ago, Zen Traveler said:

Sounds like self-pity...If I were you I would get off the internet and then decide to live life to the fullest--You could die tomorrow and surely you don't want your last shit to be found on here. That's my advice and have a good one. :) 

Your last shit is usually in your pants.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Buddy

 

First, you lived long enough to retire :emotion-21:

Second, you bailed from the OC pit :emotion-21: (you are the second person in 23 years that made it out alive) that iv known.

 

When i moved up to Norcal from SoCal, i kept my self busy needing to know just what is available within a 50 mile radius.

Socal you can get anything you want same day, i was spoiled.

Malls.

electronic / PC / surplus stores.

I wanted to know every business / town around me.

Drive to your nearest town, park and scope everything in that town, you get to walk and learn the areas limitations.

 

The OC spoiled us on everything

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 If you'll buy round-trip airfare for me I can fix you in less than one minute. One good kick in the a$$ and you'll be good to go.

 

I never share my own personal business with anyone, just the closest of friends, but since I know where you are I'll hit the high spots. Every bit the truth.

 

I worked in an office for 7 years after screwing up an opportunity at med school. I then went to work for the next 43 years. Thanks to my Dad when I was 16 years old I became shamefully independent. I have never asked anyone for help yet I never forget those that help me. I decided to seek a job that  required physical rather than mental challenges. Ended up with a job that required both.

 

I retired at 60. Everywhere I went some person that was not retired and has never retired told me all about retirement. It still happens today. No one will understand the freedom and peace of mind that accompanies retirement. I worked on call 24/7. No one will understand that until they do it. I'm hard headed. I love a challenge. I'm just stupid enough to attempt the impossible. But I worked hard and now I have no worries.

I feel Blessed, and lucky.

 

Within a week of retirement I loaded 2 large black lawn bags with work related stuff, anything that reminded me of work, and threw it out. I told myself that I would no longer worry about the trivial stuff that we all let ourselves worry about. I decided that I would be happy. I worked on that. I'm as happy as I can be. But I've never ben too bashful. I don't wake up with a smile on my face every day but I'm happy. See I fell off a high cliff. I went from high demands to freedom. It's called retirement.

 

Then, one year to the day after I retired I had a triple by-pass. At the time I was lean and mean. The bypass didn't slow me down. I never saw doctors other than the routine primary care guy that I saw every 6 months for over 30 years. Health issues were totally new to me. I really didn't realize that my job had prepared me for what was about to come. Six months after the bypass I had a heart attack. Caused by a blockage in one of the bypasses. Stent. I put up with the pain in my chest and, even worse, my left arm for over a week. The pain built slowly and I was use to a pain in the a$$. I, stupid as I am, went to the EM at 1;00 am and they fixed me up.

 

Two years go by. Since I pushed myself at work and unknowingly worked myself into decent physical condition, not withstanding that I have an interest in the human condition, I was in tune with my body. Last September I went my Cardiologist for a 6 month check-up. After the doctor stuff he asked me how I had been doing. I gave him a couple of experiences that had happened over the last several months. He asked me what I thought it was. I told him that I thought it was either pneumonia or lung cancer. He set up a chest x-ray. After 2 opinions  It turned out to be option B.

 

From November until this May I put up with chemo and radiation. I lasted longer than most according to my oncologist and the doctor guy at the c**c** treatment center (I have no respect for the word). I was low. Real low for a guy with my attitude (doctors). One morning I was sitting on my screen porch drinking shitty tasting coffee thinking that I could not stand 2 more months of this treatment. If you knew me you would know that my Superman male nucleus was cracking, and I wondered where and how I would stop the pain. Old me kicked in and I asked for another kick in the nuts. Please.

 

In May I find out the c**cer is gone. I also find out that I have a lung infection caused by too much radiation. I'm taking steroids and can't sleep. For days. I finally figured out what was causing my inability to sleep. My arms are as big around as telephone polls and I can't roll over (joke). I can't do much but I am finally doing things around the house. I give out after 15-20 minutes and have to rest. I'll take it. I'm still breathing and getting a check that I worked for.

 

I visited my pulmonary doctor a few days ago. After 1 minute of my mouth running 197 miles per hour he interrupts me and says he has got to reduce the steroids. My wife thanked him. I told him that, although it may seem strange, I had actually almost enjoyed the experience. I learned first hand how the poisons had affected my body. The experience had intrigued me. He didn't think that was strange at all.

 

Now here you are talking about how unhappy you are. You just need a good kick in the a$$. I'm going to get real personal now, but I'm not getting into religion. Our purpose here is to help each other. I accept my mortality. We'll all experience it. When I got to the lowest point in my life I prayed for a sign and the strength that I needed to help myself tolerate the suffering. Three different times over a period of weeks. One morning I sat up in the bed when I heard someone speaking. Like one of those possessed people on a horror movie, sat straight up. The first time it was early, still dark. Minutes or hours later, same thing. The third time, still dark.

 

The words were clear and distinct. There was no tone to the voice. I was alone in the bedroom. I fell back to sleep in a minute or two. The words were my words. The words were words I had spoken in my prayer for help for my wife. The words were few and to the point. After a couple of days It hi me. There was no voice. The words came from me. Inside of me. Where God resides, inside each of us. Our purpose here is to help each other. I last went to church 40 years ago. That ain't what you're getting here. Besides, I'm analytical.

 

Get off that a$$. Get out there and pull you share of the load. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. People are generally friendly and will be receptive to you. Brighten others day and yours will illuminate too.

 

I love you man. Take care of yourself. Take that first step.

 

Keith

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Since I'm retired now I do things and see things that I never had time to see or do before. I notice things in my house that I really hadn't had time to notice before. I like trivial tasks. I enjoy dusting furniture. I enjoy vacuuming lamp shades. It hit me a few weeks ago how yellow the lights bulbs were in lamps and ceiling fixtures. I bought probably 40 LED Daylight bulbs and replaced every bulb in the house. Now you have to wear sunglasses if you come inside.

 

My sight and my memory were affected by the chemo. They call it chemo brain. The doctor said it affects short term memory. Or was it long term memory? (joke for you slow people). I can't remember some words (no joke) while conversating but I can remember names from 40 years ago, which is alright with me.

 

A few weeks ago I accompanied my wife to the grocery store 1/2 mile from my house. She was thrilled, of course. I had never been in that store before. She needed something like bread and milk. Being helpful as I am, we left with New York strips, bone in rib eyes, Cracker Jacks, chocolate covered raisins, watermelon, Thai food from the deli, Bush Chipotle beans, eggs for potato salad and I can't remember what else. I need the protein. Now when I wake up and she's not here I know she probably had to go to the grocery and didn't want to wake me up. I hope she can get by without my help.

 

So we're checking out. There's a line. A woman walks up and says to me 'Sir' customer service right down there will check you out, pointing her finger. We walk down and there stands a strapping young man, probably late 20's. He didn't look very happy. I ask if I may call him Cust. He says, what? I tell him that a woman told us that Customer Service would check us out (someone in the background mutters 'Oh God'). He stares at me as I tell him that Customer Service is an odd name but that I thought nothing of it because my name was Will Call and he could call me Will. His face appeared to be porcelain.

 

Sometimes you fail. But that's no excuse.

 

 

Keith

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...