Jump to content

Finally! Congress does something worthwhile!


jimjimbo

Recommended Posts

I knew this was going to leak.  I've been back up on the Hill working on this for the last two years.  This was supposed to be unveiled as part of the Kennedy Center Honors 2019 this week during at the induction of Earth, Wind and Fire. 

 

It is the sole reason behind last years Farewell Tour for George Clinton as the leader of Parliament /Funkadelic.  He will be nominated by the President at the beginning of next year's term as the 1st Secretary of the newly formed Department of Funk. The Senate is prepared to put aside the Impeachment trial and take up his confirmation on an expedited basis. Bootsy Collins is slated to be the Undersecretary of Grooves.  The Department's motto will be "We Got The Funk!" and the central courtyard of the  Departments headquarters will feature a full sized stature of James Brown bustin a move. All employees will be issued Flashlights.

 

Now I know my fellow Klipschers are true patriots and can be trusted to hold dearly what I am about to reveal.  A large portion of the Department's budget will actually be dedicated to cutting-edge research on very large array space orbiting speakers which can be deployed over China, Russia , North Korea and Iran on short notice.  The Bar-Kays, "Too Hot To Stop" will be broadcast causing their missiliers uncontrollable spasms of dance floor booty calls rendering them incapable of pressing the launch buttons. 

 

Should that prove insufficient Johnny Guitar Watson broadcasts will lull them into a center of the groove.

 

Be strong my fellow Americans for we are the funk!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Only tangentially. At the time I was a lowly staffer on the Select Committee on Committees.  More precisely the Subcommittee on Odds and Ends. Certain members of the Armed Forces, knowing of my attendance at Woodstock, approached me sub-rosa about their battle plan.

 

I reviewed things and grudgingly gave my approval with but one caveat, and that was to watch out for guitar solos.  I was ignored, somebody went into some long drawn out riff, it screwed up the entire timing of the paratrooper drop and a bunch of them ended up in the drink.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/9/2019 at 7:38 AM, Sancho Panza said:

Came over here hoping they'd ALL submitted their resignations.

 

Yea, similar here. I was hoping for a unanimous vote in favor of Term Limits..... guess I'll have to wait till next year..... here we go again. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...