Vinyl Avalanche!!!!!!!!!! I knew I was in Trouble…

[thebes]

...when I figured out it was going to be one of those weeks when everything goes wrong.

 

Let’s backtrack.

 

Yesterday:

 

Walk out to my work van (house painter) and it’s not there! Report it stolen and soon find out it was used in a $25k heist of copper at a nearby construction site.

 

Wednesday:
 

I’m on a cedar shingle roof, working a large dormer window,  it’s covered with mold, mildew and oily residue from the thousand sof cars that go by every day from a very nearby highway. End up surfing down the roof, my spilled paint bucket following behind me, and am saved by a timely grab onto a window ledge.

 

Late afternoon Tuesday.

 

Need to switch out a HDMI cable cause I’m having trouble with my tv set top box.

Reaching for the cable in a cabinet above a two row stack of milk crate vinyl albums in a narrow pathway between an equally imposing stack of vinyl filled milk crates immediately behind me.

Open the door and the entire cabinet comes off the wall, hits the shelving holding several hundred albums which promptly come tumbling down, trapping me within a waist high stack of vinyl, fore and aft, and said cabinet sitting on my chest.

Yes folks, I was solidly trapped in a vinyl avalanche, something not even the Swiss have experienced.

Vinyl to the fore of me, vinyl to the back of me, soon to be a silly footnote in the metro section of the Sunday paper.

 

“Oh no” you say, “what is a poor thebes to do?”

 

Well I’d like to say that sheer grit and determination saved me from my impending doom. But twasn’t so. I was saved, once again I might add, by those babeilicous, never to be under-fantasized about,

The Twins.

Yes dear readers, it was none other than Tawny and Tickles those hourglass shaped wonders seemingly formed by the unrealized fantasies of per-pubescent boys.

They’d just got it from the campaign trail. Sad thing for The Twins, they agreed on everything, but politics. Good thing, though, once off the trail, sartorial splendor aside, they were classic, twins, on their own private wavelength. Case in point, Tawny was wearing a Magna hat, magna mask, magna bra, magna panties, while Tickles was making do by carrying a cuppa Joe.

Alerted by my operatic screams they were soon at my side, burrowing, shifting crates, classifying genres by title and author, as they went.  Soon I was extracted and in their arms. But even as tugged them close in gratitude, I could not escape what I thought was to be my final view of the world:

 

Bob Marley’s “Exodus”.