Jeff Matthews Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 You'll never amount to anything! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 1 minute ago, Jeff Matthews said: You'll never amount to anything! They were right. You became a lawyer....lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerwoodKhorns Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 I once told my mother in response to something, "you have been like a mother to me" her response, "I am your mother you jerk!" 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 7 minutes ago, tigerwoodKhorns said: I once told my mother in response to something, "you have been like a mother to me" her response, "I am your mother you jerk!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 44 minutes ago, Jeff Matthews said: I'll slap you naked and burn your clothes! I forgot.... she also threatened to "smack that taste right out of your mouth" Funny how violent she spoke to us when we said OJ was guilty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Put you're wants in one hand and you're pee in the other and see which one fills up the fastest ; thanks Mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 This is what we're having for supper. if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, just don't ask for anything else before breakfast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 10 hours ago, sunburnwilly said: Put you're wants in one hand and you're pee in the other and see which one fills up the fastest ; thanks Mom because you don't have a pot to piss in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 20 minutes ago, oldtimer said: because you don't have a pot to piss in. Or a window to throw it out of. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Speaking of pots and windows.... we once had a dog out here on the farm.... had some family over for the weekend in their camper. One of the gals (wife's first cousin) lives in Nashville and does the "country" thing....had some brand spanking new boots on. Well...don't you know the dog went up to her to check her out..... hiked his leg.... peed on her leg which....yes..... wait for it..... went down into her brand new boots giving her squishy feet. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaudeJ1 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 15 hours ago, Coytee said: Said by a black woman friend that we razzed about OJ Simpson being guilty... "Ya'll better shut up or I'll smack that white right off your face" "Yall better shut up or I'll slap you into next week" Even thought he was let off by the "race card," not a single person, black or white, believes OJ was innocent, even thought he PAID for a "not guilty verdict." From a random black guy in line for something locally: "She better not do that again or I'll pull an OJ on her." To stick to the OP, my mom used to say: "Don't put butter on your toast if you are putting peanut butter on it." My science teacher once said: "You can fool the butcher, you can fool the baker, but you can't fool the undertaker." I still don't know what that means!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billybob Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Johnny Cochran, gloves didn't fit, you must acquit, Furman nullified jury. Detective with tube of blood. You can't get blood out of a turnip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muel Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 On 11/16/2020 at 9:05 AM, billybob said: This is going to hurt me more than you... Or the variation... "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me..." I appreciate the honesty. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 12 minutes ago, muel said: "This is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me..." I appreciate the honesty. lol, went to dermatologist once to have some basil cell taken off the tip of my nose... needed to be numbed. As he approached me with (what appeared to be a three foot long needle to numb it....but was of course, a small one) I asked him "Is this going to hurt me more than it hurts you???" "Yep" was his only reply. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muel Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 Funny! Dad was a surgeon in Vietnam... he had said the same thing to patients. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gilbert Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 17 hours ago, oldtimer said: You don't know shit from shinola. I use to get that one too. One of Dad's favorites any time I decided to do something my way, as opposed to the way I was told.... he'd yell out, "I'm Hoyle!!". lol, Does anyone get it? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billybob Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 He is the final arbiter there and he has the rulebook to show it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 10 minutes ago, Gilbert said: he'd yell out, "I'm Hoyle!!". lol, Does anyone get it? Yep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosco-d-gama Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Coytee said: Speaking of pots and windows.... we once had a dog out here on the farm.... had some family over for the weekend in their camper. One of the gals (wife's first cousin) lives in Nashville and does the "country" thing....had some brand spanking new boots on. Well...don't you know the dog went up to her to check her out..... hiked his leg.... peed on her leg which....yes..... wait for it..... went down into her brand new boots giving her squishy feet. ewwwwwwwwwwwwww ......warm and squishy feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted November 17, 2020 Author Share Posted November 17, 2020 Don't you use that tone of voice with me.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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