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Trip to the ER (wife)...


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Drama first, "funny' part second.


Fell asleep last night on couch in basement.  Phone rings about 1:00.  It was my sister in law who lives 30+ miles away....  in a panicked voice she's telling me that my wife has fallen down the stairs (to the 2nd floor) and needed my help...


I jump up and go upstairs to 1st floor to find her kneeling on/by the couch.  Long story short....  she had taken Hattie (our 30 lb of fur) outside....took Hattie (carried) upstairs since Hattie can't go up steps anymore.  Got Hattie tucked in for bed, forgot her phone....turned around to go back down and though she's not 100% sure what happened (no, I didn't push her!!)  She says she slipped on the (carpeted) step.  My thoughts are that she probably placed her foot too close to the edge of it and that's why she slipped.


None the less...  if you recall back to when you were 8 years old, perhaps you went "sliding/bouncing" down your steps or your grand-parent's steps....  well.....she fell straight down onto her butt and bounced down the rest of the steps.  One step, eleven steps?  I don't know.


She's in obvious pain....telling me that she thinks she's broken her back...  so now I'm suffering a mix of she certainly has my attention.....but then....  she's got a tendency to presume the worst possible....  the thing is....  "somewhere in time" she's going to be right with her presumption of the worst.  Fortunately, it wasn't last night.


So she's writhing in genuine pain....  no.....she's ok....  no, she's writhing....  asking her if she wanted to go to the hospital....does she want me to call 911?  She won't be able to walk down if she's broken her back.   "Oh....no....  I think I can walk to the car.......  well....  maybe you should call 911.....  BUT WAIT"


And this is where it begins:  She had just finished bathing two of the dogs so she was in sweats and was very damp herself.


No self respecting woman, broken back or not....  would be caught dead having an ambulance picking them up looking like this....   


So while she's writhing in pain.....then not.....then yes....  she gives me instructions.


1.  Do NOT call 911 yet....they may get here to fast (huh?)

2.  I need you go get me a change of clothes.  (we've got 3 bedrooms and no kids....so virtually ALL the closets are in use...mainly for her stuff....so now I'm on a treasure hunt....  where does she keep her sweat pants?  Where does she keep her undies?  What about her socks?  Oh...  and need a top....

3.  So I'm hunting for above.  I'm on my phone with her on her phone downstairs as she's directing me to the items she wants (with her broken back, calling 911 on pause)

4.  I get her things

5.  These sweat pants (fresh & clean out of her closet) have paint on them....  I need another pair

6.  I go get an acceptable pair of sweat pants.

7.  This sock has a hole in it....  can you get me a different pair??  I go back upstairs to get a different pair of socks.....while she's sitting there with a shattered spine and 911 on hold

8.  I need some mouthwash  so I go to back upstairs, get her mouthwash and take it to her

9.  I need something to spit it in....would you get me a cup??  Sure....I'm sure waiting another 4 minutes to call 911 won't matter

10.  I don't think we need 911.....I think I can walk to the car.  What?  With the multi fractured & shattered spine?

11.  I need my charger (upstairs of course) so I can keep my phone charged.....  back up I go


She walked down the stairs (alone....didn't want me to help her) and walked to car and got in on her own power.  On way to hospital, she told me she called her sister because her phone had ONE single bar left and she didn't want to waste that power on calling me in case I didn't wake up....and her phone died....  leaving her sprawled precariously on the floor with spinal spliters all up & down her back from being fractured in 53,592 places....


On way to ER, I reminded her that they're likely going to look at me with a raised eyebrow....  " Hmmm.....your wife "FELL" down the steps in the middle of the night????"  Riiiiiiiiight......

They 'll make me suspect #1 with someone surreptitiously calling Homicide while she & I are merrily talking in the ER....  so no jokes about me pushing her.....  I don't want to suffer their trigger finger.


They get her back....actually, she walked on her own, into their triage room.  I was checking her in.  Done checking her in, he told me to go through doors and first room on left (I might add the highway was desolated....not a single car on way.  Not a SINGLE person in the ER, it was frankly a bit spooky not seeing a soul)


The Doc her her story about her prior car wreck (her brakes checked out ok AND, at the time, I was working in Florida so I had an alibi)  


With the 17 broken bones she suffered from her car accident, he decided to do a CT scan instead of a normal X-ray.


Seems she fractured her tailbone.  If you've ever suffered one of those (I have) you know it can be intense pain and in my case, took maybe 5-6 months to heal.


Got home about 4:30 A.M.



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11 minutes ago, Coytee said:

They 'll make me suspect #1 with someone surreptitiously calling Homicide while she & I are merrily talking in the ER....  so no jokes about me pushing her.....  I don't want to suffer their trigger finger.


Oh, we know you didn't push her.  The story you just told?  No one could make that stuff up!  😄



Glad the wife is mostly OK and will recover. 


It's now your job to carry both the dog and your wife up and down the stairs! 

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Sorry to hear of her mishap Richard.  I fell out of a tree once while doing a spring clean up at our church several years ago.  I landed on my tailbone but ended up with a spinal compression fracture right above my shoulder blades.  The Dr said that it was like a billiard ball effect as the energy was transferred up my spine.  I tried driving myself home but ended up just working the gas and brake while my son steered from the passenger seat as I couldn't stand to raise my arms.  Back fractures are no fun.

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1 hour ago, richieb said:

Is your attorney on retainer?


Appreciate the thoughts.  I might take a summer class and 'self retain'...


I decided to comment since all appears to be well.  She had a giggle or two during this process so it wasn't as dire as I was thinking when her sister woke me up.


When I fractured my tailbone, I owned a Miata.  It was some of the most intense pain just simply getting in and out of that car....and then sitting down.  I got a donut.  Oh....and now I have to shift and push the pedals....  that didn't feel too good either.


My challenge is going to be keeping HER from carrying Hattie up/down the stairs as she heals.  (does that make her stubborn or determined??)




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On 2/9/2021 at 12:52 PM, JJkizak said:

Well f a woman likes to look pretty on a toilet, where does it end?


read something once where this lady was saying that she liked shopping at her local dollar store because she didn't have to get dressed up like if she was going to Walmart. 

Now that was a scary thing to read. 

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hope your bride recovers fully and quickly.  I can easily picture what happened because I was once visiting friends. they had just had a baby and for some reason I was tasked with holding it. I walked down the carpeted stairs, and I didn't have shoes on, but I did have socks on.  my feet went out from under me and all I could think about was making sure that the baby wouldn't get hurt. So, I clutched her to my chest and fell on my butt and back.  The baby never even cried.  She's all grown up and is an actress now ... I think she owes her career to my quick thinking and sacrificial efforts to protect her.  if she ever wins an academy award, I wonder if I'll make her thank you speech?

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10 hours ago, DizRotus said:

I had a similar issue.  It all started about a week back.


Take care of her Richard.  You can appreciate her pain.  Other than pain meds, what is the treatment?  A cast, even the original from Broadway, seems out of the question.


No treatment.  Has to simply heal on its own.

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Just now, Coytee said:


No treatment.  Has to simply heal on its own.

give her time to heal -- that's what nice guys do.  I wouldn't let her lift anything over 100 pounds for the rest of the week. Changing tires on the tractor, may have to wait a few days too. 

And don't even think of asking her to paint the house for at least a month. 

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1 minute ago, Coytee said:

how about new shingles?  individually they weigh less than 100 pounds....  is being three floors up on the roof ok as long as she doesn't sit? :emotion-14:

well, I'm not a doctor ... and haven't played one on tv either (a baseball player and an army man yes ... doctor no).  hey, I'm a modern guy, let her do what she wants as long as she has dinner on the table by five, I'm cool with it.   by the way, you know you're talking to a divorced guy don't you?

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