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Blondes


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BLONDES

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!!!!

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a

tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed,

.

.

.

.

.

"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down and shouts, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

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Can't leave out the blonde guys!

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm jumping too. The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He always made his own lunch.

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A red head goes to the doctor explaining that everywhere she touched

herself there was pain. She touched her arm, it hurt. She touched her

nose, it hurt. She touched her head, her ankle, her ribs, all caused pain

when touched. The doctor performed a short exam. When he was finished he

stepped back and asked, "Is red your natural color?" "Why no," she

replied, "I'm actually a blonde." To this the doctor replied, "You have a

broken finger."

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BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking

one day. The Russian said, We were the first in space! The American said, We were the first on the moon! The Blonde said, So what? Were going to be the first on the sun! The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. You cant land on the sun, you idiot! Youll burn up! said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, Were not stupid, you know. Were going at night!

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?She thought for a time and then asked, Is it on or off?

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? HelOOOooo, answered the blonde. Theyre watch dogs!

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