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Off topic: Question about human nature


m00n

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Clue,

When I went with my wife to her reunions, there were folks there that we/she had kept in touch with over the years. And you end up congregating with the ones you know, but find that there are some that really are likable now, and who have turned out to be decent folks. Her two best friends from high school came to her funeral. One a guy and one a girl. They are both super. The girl is married with two adopted kids, and as beautiful today as she was in high school. The guy is single again, and teaches in a school not far from us. He and my wife were 'buddies' in school, and were just the best of friends. But then I had complete trust in my wife's honesty. I knew about the others... and that isn't to slander her. We both had our faults.

We have friends who came to visit us this past Fall, before Barbara deteriorated too much, who are a little bit older that me (57-60), who got married when they were in their 30s. There hadn't been anyone before, or since. It happens more than most people want to admit I think.

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First I want to request that this tread be kept as clean as possible.

So the wife and I were having a conversation. As some couples some times do, we start talking about previous relationships and flings. She starts talking about some football guy back in high school and I ask the question that every guy wants to know but really does not want to know. Did you guys do the deed. By the look on her face and her "we dated a little after high school" I knew the answer.

Now, the topic turns to high school reunions. I tell here that I have no desire to go to her reunion. Why she asks, because I have no desire to come face to face with some guy(s) (i don't know if it was just one or more) that she had gotten busy with. She replies with, SO WHAT?. I'm thinking to myself... You just have no clue how guys thing. So I tell her exactly that. That when a guy sees a women he had sex with, and she's with some new guy, what's going through his head is: "Dooood, I had her long before you did... Oh yeah, we did this, we did that, uh huh... I tore it up".

She's replies and says NO THEY DON'T. I said BS.. You ask any guy. She then asks, well.... do you think that way? Of course I do I replied, I'm a guy.

So the point of this post is to fine out, how many of you out there agree with me? At least on some level?

I agree with you to a point moon. The best way to handle it is to convince yourself it does not matter. Yes guys can and do think like you describe, but they can also get over it. Put her in your position. Does she want to meet all the gals you danced with? Probably not when put in those terms.

I went to my reunion alone because my wife was too self conscious to be "judged" by people she had never met. I met some old friends and had a generally good time. We both went across the country to hers (mine was local) and stayed with an old friend and his wife. We had a great time at the party, and the whole visit was great. I guess the point is that you can make it as fun as you want to, and why not?

As a side note, let me say that her ex was living in the same apartment building as we were for a while and I don't know what he was thinking, but I was thinking "you're an idiot for screwing up, and I am in heaven." He kept a good distance, and never said a word.

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First off, the whole concept of High school reunions totally escapes me, there's not a single soul that I really want to get in touch with after 25 years. If I wanted to see these people, I would have kept in touch. The whole reunion thing is just an chance for those that have a need to show off, or indulge in some form of self flattery.

And Moon, I know that you are fairly close to my age, and as such you must realize that you are "not the first".

Just be happy that you are "The last", [;)]

just more High School ...crap

oh, hi ...see...??? we're Still on top ....

[:(]

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I agree with and know what you're saying to a point Moon. Analyze it all you want, but it boils down to the primal male competition/dominance thing. No matter how sophisticated and forward thinking we believe we are and claim to be, on some level, we also need to feel that we are the biggest and the best. Simple as that. That said, I don't think anyone can claim that they were that good at anything in that department in high school. It takes a few more years to perfect that skill. Therefore, "football guy " has nothing to gloat over. Don't anyone bother calling me an insecure caveman. I'll be too busy the rest of the day swinging from a vine and beating my chest. The whole time, believing my wife's sarcastic declaration that I am indeed the biggest and the best.

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YOU GUYS!!!!!

You all are reading WAY more into this than there is. There are no issues in our marriage regarding this at all.

1) I'm not worried about her having a fling.

2) The reunion was just used as an example( kind of, her 20 is coming up this year )

3) Everyone has a little jelously in them

4) I'm not remotely worried about her leaving me for this old football player guy.

5) While we have had some issues, our marriage is getting better all the time.

Wow... you guys are WAY over analyzing this. My wife and I were just having some fun banter between the two of us is all. It was all in fun and coyness.

You guys have just way overlooked my question.

No, we haven't. This is fun - let's keep going... [:P]

.... And we did! [;)]

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I would suggest that this "human nature" is more a function of age. I mean, I believe I was the way you suggest m00n when I was in my 30's. But in my 40's the insignificant things that use to be important truly became insignificant. My 10 year HS reunion seemed to be all about "look at me". My 30 year HS reunion was all about "I am so happy to see you and remember all the crazy sh*t we did and man...I am so glad to see you."

So I guess my answer would be yes & no. As time goes on, we tend to forget what was and start enjoying the moment.

Oh....and as far as seeing my ex with another man.....I think if I saw her with a guy, I'd try to get his address. You know, so I could send him a "So sorry for your bad mis-fortune" card. [6]

Tom

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Going to bed with someone is easy - waking up with them the next morning is the hard part.

I have been waking up with my wife for 22 years.

Between us we have had less lovers than my mate Tony has in a typical month.

I cant say I would give it a second thought - I would go to the re-union - meet all the people you used to know - share a part of her life you missed out on.

We did once meet an ex-girlfriend of mine. She looked terrible and obviously felt uncomfortable and I felt sorry for her - as did SWMBO. It was a complete non-issue for us.

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Take her to the reunion, but before the event, buy her some new jewelry (good stuff), telling her she'll look so pretty wearing it (if she likes what you picked out, she'll glow at the reunion). AND she'll probably tell all her old friends what a sweetheart YOU are. Just smile and wink...

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Going to bed with someone is easy - waking up with them the next morning is the hard part.

I have been waking up with my wife for 22 years.

Between us we have had less lovers than my mate Tony has in a typical month.

I cant say I would give it a second thought - I would go to the re-union - meet all the people you used to know - share a part of her life you missed out on.

We did once meet an ex-girlfriend of mine. She looked terrible and obviously felt uncomfortable and I felt sorry for her - as did SWMBO. It was a complete non-issue for us.

Max.......dude......re-read that first sentence. And then read it again. Are you sure you'd want your wife to know that waking up with her every morning was hard??? LOL.......

LOL.....reminds me of that coyote ugly joke where you wake up with someone that's so ugly that you'd chew your arm off to keep from waking her up.

Tom

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