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Another dramatic life event� :(


formica

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I want to mail ( email) you an E-Book ... do

you think your Email provider can support na pretty good sized PDF.

file ..??

I'll PM you my hotmail account... it seems to allow pretty good size files.

how old are you , Rob ...?? ... on a job i'm

workin' on ...EVERYONE is damn right smack in the middle of this

You left out the project manager?...

She's late twenties... I'm early thirties... and I'm a project manager

The younger ones wouldn't want me. Women my

age are all divorced twice and bitter, or just plain evil. You guys and

your experiences don't give marriage a very good name.

So I'm better just living out the rest of my short miserable existence solo, is that all there is?

Don't give me that sob story... you are just loosing focus on your

goal. Do you know what your goal is? Before you answer

that... I'll help fill it in...

Your goal isn't finding that "life partner".... it's turning your

"miserable" existence into a fulfilling and enjoyable one. The

idea is to be happy... PERIOD... and you don't need a life partner for

that. I can promise you that you'll never find the right person,

if you don't first find happiness on your own.

Tough words... I know... I'm definitely not looking to hurt you but I hope you understand what I'm getting at.

A lot of us are in the same position and I know how you are

feeling.... he11 I've got that mixed with the loss, betrayal, and

not to mention the total upheaval of my day-to-day life.

Right now, I'm looking for happiness... only problem is I don't know where I left my life.

Life is a big rollercoaster ride, You've got to have faith, Gentlemen...

Faith in what? Unfortunately I've lost faith in durability of

relationships... with 50% of marriages ending in divorce. Even

the 50% of those who make it, half of them have had to deal with

infidelity.

Rollercoaster is right... just when you think you know where you

are going, there is another drop and twist. I think I lost some

loose-change and a life on the last one....

ROb

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I'm totally screwed. I'm 47 and never married. The younger ones wouldn't want me. Women my age are all divorced twice and bitter, or just plain evil. You guys and your experiences don't give marriage a very good name.

So I'm better just living out the rest of my short miserable existence solo, is that all there is?

I guess I should count my lucky stars that I never had to hand over HALF or lose my kids that I never had.....

M

Hey colter,

You, or any other guy on this forum is absolutely totally NOT screwed. My mother divorced at 32, remarried at 45. She was neither bitter nor evil, and came complete with two wonderful children [:)], who absolutely adore their stepfather. My grandmother was married to the same man until he passed away for 50 + years....she remarried at 75 to another generous and loving man.

My point is, there's never a time to throw in the towel. True friendship/partnership/love, whatever you want to call it, is out there.

I have horror stories of my own, but if happiness, either solo or duo, can find me, it can find any of you too. Hang in there. [:)]

Yea, what she said.

Love is all around. It's kinda like that country song, maybe you guys are "Looking for love in all the wrong places."

It's out there, go for it.

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Faith in what? Faith that God will never give you more than you can handle..........We all have crosses to bear,,,,,,some different than others.....I see you have some good friends here, and that makes you lucky.......so Smile and be thankful for what you do have............

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Who guarantees that life is easy????? Life is a big rollercoaster ride, You've got to have faith, Gentlemen........

Marvel, I don't understand what you mean, I hope it's not what I think you said, tell me I'm wrong.....................

'What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,

nor the human heart conceived,

what God has prepared for those who love him'

I Corinthians 2:9

My wife died of cancer just after Christmas. Even though she wanted to be with us here on earth, I am sure that now, she wouldn't want to trade places with anyone. She had incredible faith and trust in her creator, a faith that allowed her to surrender everything unto Him.

But what if one has no faith, or has lost the faith they once had? If one sees the world only through the eyes of science, and loses track of the fact that it was God, the god of order, who has made all these things work, then one is in trouble.

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I'm mean no disrespect, but the choice of life or death has only one answer, Life. You seem to be a man with strong beliefs, don't you believe you were left here for a reason after your wife's tragic passing, that there's is some meaning to it, some purpose for it? I guess I should just stay out of this, it's just that there are reasons to be happy, and all I feel in these posts is gloom, and sorrow, and I was hoping to turn that around, maybe I can't, maybe I shouldn't, but I had to try, guess I failed. Waking up everyday is something I thank God for...................

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I'm mean no disrespect, but the choice of life or death has only one answer, Life. You seem to be a man with strong beliefs, don't you believe you were left here for a reason after your wife's tragic passing, that there's is some meaning to it, some purpose for it? I guess I should just stay out of this, it's just that there are reasons to be happy, and all I feel in these posts is gloom, and sorrow, and I was hoping to turn that around, maybe I can't, maybe I shouldn't, but I had to try, guess I failed. Waking up everyday is something I thank God for...................

The choice of life or death was not one my wife could make. I however, am still here in the land of the living. Don't think I am all doom and gloom. I do believe I'm here for a purpose. You were speaking of those who already passed on. Although I certainly miss my wife (and how could I not?), life moves on, and I must move on as well. I only have to accept each day (hour and minute) as it comes. I have laughed far too much since Chirstmas to be all doom and gloom.

btw, my wife, participated on a cancer forum. Someone mentioned that the diagnosis of cancer isn't a death sentence. (For Melanoma patients, the survival rate for Stage IV is <5% after ten years) She posted that life is a death sentence. No one gets out of here alive. Depends on what you mean by 'alive', of course. She was full of faith and believed in God, trusting in Christ's redeeming work on the cross. So, she was very positive. How can you not be when you are trusting the One who cares the most about you? I will put my portable pulpit away now.

Bruce

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Tonight turned out to be a tougher night than I expected.... FLA

show got cancelled last minute, so I had nowhere to go.

Can someone tell me why is it that I subconsciously insist on beating

myself down with thoughts concerning what I possibly may have done

wrong... or what this other, seemingly mundane person has to offer that

I don't?

Faith in what? Faith that God will never give

you more than you can handle..........We all have crosses to bear,,,

Didn't mean to get down on you... just I little frustrated on my

end. I normally think I'm one of the luckiest guys in the

world... but recently it seems everything I touch turns to dirt.

Did I mention that I actually met Mother Teresa in person? In my

youth I was working in a small home for the mentally disabled and she

showed up for an unannounced visit. Shook her hand.... she

was very small with big "hard worked" hands... and a sincere

smile. You got to admire someone who's dedicated 100% of their

life to helping those less fortunate.

But what if one has no faith, or has lost the

faith they once had? If one sees the world only through the eyes of

science, and loses track of the fact that it was God, the god of order,

who has made all these things work, then one is in trouble.

I know that last bit is directed at me... and I understand. Hope

you arent frustrated at me... I can honestly say I envy you, and wish

I could have your faith and the strength it has brought you.

Unfortunately faith is something which comes from the heart, and can't be learnt from a text book.

ROb

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Tonight turned out to be a tougher night than I expected.... FLA

show got cancelled last minute, so I had nowhere to go.

Can someone tell me why is it that I subconsciously insist on beating

myself down with thoughts concerning what I possibly may have done

wrong... or what this other, seemingly mundane person has to offer that

I don't?

Did I mention that I actually met Mother Teresa in person? In my

youth I was working in a small home for the mentally disabled and she

showed up for an unannounced visit. Shook her hand.... she

was very small with big "hard worked" hands... and a sincere

smile. You got to admire someone who's dedicated 100% of their

life to helping those less fortunate.

Rob -- Was that at the L'Arche community by any chance? A rough job and great thing to do in any event.

But what if one has no faith, or has lost the

faith they once had? If one sees the world only through the eyes of

science, and loses track of the fact that it was God, the god of order,

who has made all these things work, then one is in trouble.

I know that last bit is directed at me... and I understand. Hope

you arent frustrated at me... I can honestly say I envy you, and wish

I could have your faith and the strength it has brought you.

Unfortunately faith is something which comes from the heart, and can't be learnt from a text book.

ROb

Not totally aimed at you. I'm not frustrated with you at all. ...and faith is a gift. It doesn't come from us at all. We must only act on the faith we receive. We all tend to beat ourselves down when something fails. It's part of our nature. I've done it to myself, but still, life is good.

fini,

Why is it that secular songwriters hit the nail on the head so often? Is it perhaps because they read the human heart a little more accurately sometimes?

Bruce

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If you act screwed, you will get screwed............Be Thankful you get up everyday, the cemeteries are full of people who would change places with you, given the choice..........

=

ouch!!

I certainly hope you don't think I was knocking anyone, I wasn't. Positive is better than Negative, and I do thank God for everyday he allows me to face a new day, but that's just me. I don't think the above statement is that far off, although maybe I could have worded it differently. Was just trying to lighten things up abit, so many negative thoughts, but I was wrong in jumping in, but it was being written in a public forum, which leaves it wide open to others comments, like them or not. I don't know about break-ups, I've been married to the same woman for 32 years, and look forward to 32 more, but I do know about being dealt a bad hand, you play what you have, and make the best of it, and life rolls on. Don't give up, and I wish everyone good thoughts, and keep the faith, better days are coming...............It's just as easy to Smile as it is to frown................

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I don't think the above statement is that

far off, although maybe I could have worded it differently. Was just

trying to lighten things up abit, so many negative thoughts, but I was

wrong in jumping in

I don't think you were wrong in posting it... after all your

point is to be thankful for what we do have, rather than looking at

what we don't. Even with everything which has happened to me in

the first half of 2006, I can still clearly see how fortunate I have

been although sometimes I have to step back to get a better view.

From health, to lifestyle, to family... I've got no complaints...

and even relationships.

Problem is the sorrow is sometimes overwhelming, with the physical

symptoms of the loss overpowering my body and clouding my

thoughts. I do look forward to the point where my mind regains

control of my heart. When I'm not beating myself down, I'm

constantly telling myself to step back and see how bright my past and

future will be.

but it was being written in a public

forum, which leaves it wide open to others comments, like them or not.

I have to admit a public audio forum is an odd place to post such

personal information... especially one where I'm not just an anonymous

alias. To add even further to this, these posts are done

real-time, covering the wide range of emotions one may have when trying

to deal with such a loss. So why did I do this?

This forum (it's members) have become part of my life... so I'm

willing to put it on public display in exchange of the support you guys

have shown me. Talking things over helps focus on the

goal... and I need that right now. Audio or not, I like

this place.

How often do you get the opportunity to peak so uninhibited into

someone's mind? I'm just hoping I won't post anything, influenced

by anger or fear, which I'll come to regret down the road. I do

realise that this, technically, will be also visible to any of my gf's

who make's the effort to look it up... past or future.

I'm doing my best to continue to be the gentleman I am and have always been... (feel free to put me back in my place if i get out of line....)

ROb

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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make...

I like that Fini. I have never heard that before. Very well said.

Christy,

It's from the Beatles -- Abbey Road album.

Bruce

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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make...

I like that Fini. I have never heard that before. Very well said.

Christy,

It's from the Beatles -- Abbey Road album.

Bruce

Yes, and will forever remind me of the classic SNL episode with Chris Farley interviewing Paul McCartney...

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Rob - Did you get the email I sent to your excite.com address last week??

Maybe Rob, in addition to you getting "buff", you ought to do something like getting a part time job at Home Depot or an Audio Store or some such that would result in you having the opportunity to network just as a matter of course. Not sure what your educational background is, but maybe there is a "society" for project managers that would allow you to go to meetings/seminars. Again - networking.

And don't forget hanging out around the zucchini and cucumber section at the grocery store either! [;)]

Worse comes to worse there's always cupid.com. LOL.......

Oh....and m00n left out one bit of advice when it comes to gaining back your self-resepct. The quickest way of achieving it (and I know m00n will like this), is to bag & tag one of your EX's girlfriends. Hmmmm......guess that would make you a dating vigilante. [:)]

Tom

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Okay, okay...so I'll admit it...I was never a huge fan of the Beatles. Not that I don't like their music, I just wasn't a huge fan.

Or is it that you guys are just so good at "Name That Tune" and "What movie is the line from" Amy, you always seem to get the movie lines. I knew you were big on movies, but geez, I didn't realize how big of a movie fan you really were.

Formica, I for one find it refreshing that a gentleman such as yourself is willing to share your heartaches and thoughts with us.

IMO, most of us consider it a priviledge to be trusted by another member willing to share their feelings. From reading your posts is it easy to see how much of a gentlemen you are.

Most women will tell you one of the greatest difficulties in a relationship is lack of communication from the man they are with.

Generally, women readily discuss their feelings(their heart), on the other hand men try to ignore their feelings(their heart) and listen to their head. I can tell you most women genuinely appreciate being with a man that is willing to talk about his feelings.

I, along with a few others on this forum truly believe you will find your soul mate. Your soul mate will come along when you least expect it.

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