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OT: how is this bad


r.cherry

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I really enjoy all of the input.

Couple of points

1. I did not hit on her... I complimented her looks in a what i thought was a gentlemanly way.

2. These were school provided email accounts, and we are both adults

3. The dean of students reviewed the offending email with me and saw nothing wrong with it.

(student teacher relation was an issue but considering our age he thought it could have been handled differently by her.) he also thinks she is attractive, he said so. however he is smart enough to not write it down in an email and sigh his name then push send...

Anyway after sleeping on it i awoke early this morning and sent her a heart felt apology.( I doubt she reads it.)I also sent a copy along with my apology to the dean of students for wasting his time.

I then dropped her class and enrolled in one on a different day and on the other side of campus, no sense rubbing salt in the raw nerve i hit by being in her class for the next 10 weeks.

Mr. McDermott i think you hit it on the head, I was stupid.

Thanks for the all of the advice, rock on.

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Seriously, how could you not realize what you did was totally inappropriate? And, why would you come on the Forum and admit what you did? Are you retarded? Only a Retard would not understand that this was a stupid thing to do.

Nothing against retarded people, but that IS how they act. At least they have an excuse.

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I really enjoy all of the input.

Couple of points

1. I did not hit on her... I complimented her looks in a what i thought was a gentlemanly way.

IMO, complimenting a woman's looks the first time you are let out of the gate is not a "gentlemanly" thing to do, especially if she is the instructor.

2. These were school provided email accounts, and we are both adults

The accounts are probably monitored.

3. The dean of students reviewed the offending email with me and saw nothing wrong with it.

(student teacher relation was an issue but considering our age he thought it could have been handled differently by her.) he also thinks she is attractive, he said so. however he is smart enough to not write it down in an email and sigh his name then push send...

At least he was smart enough to not write anything in an email that he wouldn't say in person.

Anyway after sleeping on it i awoke early this morning and sent her a heart felt apology.( I doubt she reads it.)I also sent a copy along with my apology to the dean of students for wasting his time.

She probably will read it and push "delete". He will read it, press print and place the copy in your file.

I then dropped her class and enrolled in one on a different day and on the other side of campus, no sense rubbing salt in the raw nerve i hit by being in her class for the next 10 weeks.

Smart, very smart. I always told my daughters, "You are in school to learn, not to win the popularity contest." And, "No matter what the teacher is always right." (Not that I necessarily believed the latter)

Mr. McDermott i think you hit it on the head, I was stupid.

I too think Mr. McDermott hit it on the head. However, you are getting smarter every day.

Thanks for the all of the advice, rock on.

No intent to insult you on this one, live and learn.

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I really enjoy all of the input.

2. These were school provided email accounts, and we are both adults

The accounts are probably monitored.

There probably isn't a school in the country that monitors email. They have far better things to to. Our students THINK we monitor their email, which probably has a far greater impact on how they act. Thousand of emails per day? How would you monitor them? With filtering software? Everything would have to be piped through to another program, and done transparently, so they normally wouldn't know what is going on. Money is better spent elsewhere.

We do use software to filter web traffic and can tell if a student (or any faulty/staff member) hits on some web site that we don't want them visiting. The information is written to a databse file, which can then be viewed by supervisors (only if an infraction occurs). No one but the supervisor/ student dean and the one who visited an off-limits site ever knows about it. We may know in our department that it has occured, but not the specifics.

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I really enjoy all of the input.

2. These were school provided email accounts, and we are both adults

The accounts are probably monitored.

There probably isn't a school in the country that monitors email. They have far better things to to. Our students THINK we monitor their email, which probably has a far greater impact on how they act. Thousand of emails per day? How would you monitor them? With filtering software? Everything would have to be piped through to another program, and done transparently, so they normally wouldn't know what is going on. Money is better spent elsewhere.

We do use software to filter web traffic and can tell if a student (or any faulty/staff member) hits on some web site that we don't want them visiting. The information is written to a databse file, which can then be viewed by supervisors (only if an infraction occurs). No one but the supervisor/ student dean and the one who visited an off-limits site ever knows about it. We may know in our department that it has occured, but not the specifics.

Which school do you work at???

And I goto a school of around 30,000 so I doubt they can check our email but we are bandwidth limited as the first week Napsters showed their internet capability is woefully inadequate. But intranet is fine hence direct connect [;)]. With all the stuff going on with tracking if they really wanted to know they can know.

In highschool we logged in but defeated the system by bypassing it with google cache and using our own computers at home. I set up an internet radio system only I can access with password to listen to my music and files at school. The highschool's blocker was pretty bad even blocking some educational sites that teachers were trying to access.

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This woman obviously suffers from a large case of mysandry. Its sickening that in this Orwellian culture of political correctness and feministas with an outsize chip of their shoulder, these types are allowed to make an issue out of a trivial matter ------and potentially make someone's life miserable. Perhaps it was an error in judgement on your part but this woman definitely has an agenda........I am only half joking when I say that hopefully she will meet up with a charming 'Ted Bundy' type!!

Good Luck!!

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- being hit on through an email from someone you don't know is just kind of creepy -

Geeze, at least talk to her first. Obviously there was a lack of rapport - to put it mildly.

James

I could not have said it better...........and she is so scared of the world she probably "has a ghost on each shoulder"
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Aww IDK, if you only said you found her attractive - seems she overreacted. All she had to do was tell you "lets keep this professional please". Big whoop. She went over the top IMO. Sounds like a b*tch if you ask me. Yes, I would have somehow seque'd into it a bit but for her to call authorities in on this? Sheesh.

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Email, IM, text messaging are all lousy, inefficient, impersonal ways to communicate. Seems the more tools we have the less of our true meaning comes across.

This could have been true in this case. Would you have said to her face what you typed in an email? Many people will be more adventurous, bold, rude, or angry in type then they'd ever dream of being in person. (I'm not saying you were any of these)

Before hitting SEND, I always reread my words and imagine saying them directly to the person. If I wouldn't say it to their face, I try not to put it in print.

Michael

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Email, IM, text messaging are all lousy, inefficient, impersonal ways to communicate. Seems the more tools we have the less of our true meaning comes across........

I think it would have been better to just work hard in class, turn in all your homework on time, and put a shiny apple on her desk now and then. The apple thing really works.

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I, too think the female instructor went way beyond what could've been handled much differently, but like others have said, she may have a past history and this innocent e-mail may have been the one to push her over the edge. Nevertheless, you learned your lesson, and you won't repeat this type of behavior again anytime soon.

I can relate to this incident...while stationed in Germany back in '83 I made what I thought was an innocent remark to a fellow female soldier whom I had just met a few days earlier (something to the effect that she looked great in uniform to her face...this was way before e-mail). Long story short...she had troubles with past remarks; this was the one remark that broke the camel's back and she reported me to our NCOIC; in front of her, the NCOIC, and our commanding officer I publically apologized for the remark; she accepted and dropped the issue. I never spoke to her again after that, other than a casual greeting while passing eachother down a hallway.

I learned my lesson too.

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