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"Ask Clarence" -the Saturday Night Thread


Clarence

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Clarence,

I am a 44 year old male. The other day I was helping the DirecTV installer run new lines in the house. For a portion of this project we had to be in the attic for several hours. around 7PM I slipped and fell through the ceiling. I was dangling above my wife and daughter as they were doing her homework.

My questions to you are:

1. Should I continue to help in the manly spirit when one asks for help...I was a boy scout you know as well as an adult scout leader so the urge to help people far outweighs my natural born laziness.

2. Should I make my wife pay for the damage as I fell through trying to get new cable to her kids rooms.

3. How can I regain my manliness in her eyes.

As always, thank you in advance for the ansers to these nagging questions.

Phil,

Do you wear boxers or briefs?

Clarence

Dear Clarence,

I am a pug person myself. Boxers are too high maintenance and I'm not sure what type of dog a "brief" is.

I am confused as I do not see the relevence in what type of dog I like...

Signed

Confused

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Clarence,

I am a 44 year old male. The other day I was helping the DirecTV installer run new lines in the house. For a portion of this project we had to be in the attic for several hours. around 7PM I slipped and fell through the ceiling. I was dangling above my wife and daughter as they were doing her homework.

My questions to you are:

1. Should I continue to help in the manly spirit when one asks for help...I was a boy scout you know as well as an adult scout leader so the urge to help people far outweighs my natural born laziness.

2. Should I make my wife pay for the damage as I fell through trying to get new cable to her kids rooms.

3. How can I regain my manliness in her eyes.

As always, thank you in advance for the ansers to these nagging questions.

Phil,

Do you wear boxers or briefs?

Clarence

Dear Clarence,

I am a pug person myself. Boxers are too high maintenance and I'm not sure what type of dog a "brief" is.

I am confused as I do not see the relevence in what type of dog I like...

Signed

Confused

I can help you out then.

post-16829-1381931413965_thumb.jpg

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I have not had an issue, but I would say that is large though, must be a nice camera. I use paint to shrink them, then save them as a .jpg and then hit the option button and use the add/update button and select the shrunk photo of my pc and hit the save button . Seems to work for me, would like to see your pics. I am about to head off to a Halloween party as a Flasher. Only if I could post a picture, but Amy would have my @ss in a sling. My mom made the equipment (god knows mine is nothing to mention) via Pantyhose materiel with egg size gonads and a 12 inche member attached to large womens panty hose with pubic hairs. Its classic, never the less an adult party. I brought a $79 trentch coat at sims and customized an old dress shirt shirt and tie to make sure when I flash, that I flash. Anyway enjoy your night.

No doubt I will have a four star hangover tomorrow.

post-16829-1381931414299_thumb.jpg

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Clarence,

I am a 44 year old male. The other day I was helping the DirecTV installer run new lines in the house. For a portion of this project we had to be in the attic for several hours. around 7PM I slipped and fell through the ceiling. I was dangling above my wife and daughter as they were doing her homework.

My questions to you are:

1. Should I continue to help in the manly spirit when one asks for help...I was a boy scout you know as well as an adult scout leader so the urge to help people far outweighs my natural born laziness.

2. Should I make my wife pay for the damage as I fell through trying to get new cable to her kids rooms.

3. How can I regain my manliness in her eyes.

As always, thank you in advance for the ansers to these nagging questions.

Phil,

Do you wear boxers or briefs?

Clarence

Dear Clarence,

I am a pug person myself. Boxers are too high maintenance and I'm not sure what type of dog a "brief" is.

I am confused as I do not see the relevence in what type of dog I like...

Signed

Confused

Phil this is a very important question. I can solve all of your problems if you give me a straight answer.

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Clarence,

There has been mention of "beer bongs" in this and other threads. This was very confusing to me and still is. After all the hoop-a-la about beer bongs, I went out to the shed and dug out an old apparatus that had been hidden away for 20+ years. I proceeded to top it up with some of my wife's Bud Light (I didn't use any of my good beer in case this experiment was a failure). I then drug out the trusty Zippo to finalize this little ritual...........

Which brings me to my question: How do you keep it lit?[:|]

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Clarence,

There has been mention of "beer bongs" in this and other threads. This was very confusing to me and still is. After all the hoop-a-la about beer bongs, I went out to the shed and dug out an old apparatus that had been hidden away for 20+ years. I proceeded to top it up with some of my wife's Bud Light (I didn't use any of my good beer in case this experiment was a failure). I then drug out the trusty Zippo to finalize this little ritual...........

Which brings me to my question: How do you keep it lit?[:|]

LMAO!

An ordinary Zippo will not work. You need a blow torch.

Clarence may know a better answer, however, he will need to know id you wear boxers or brief. Picture would help him, I'm sure[:)]

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Boxers


Living..Inna Godda Da Vidda...Baby!

Clarence is surprised a man of your stature (avatar) would be cool enough to wear boxers. Congratulations. As far as the ceiling and your wife's waning faith in your manhood, the solution is simple.

I assume you fell through above the cable craving child in questions room. also assuming the child is, with such a hip boxer wearing parentel unit, somewhat cool, they should have no problem tacking a pop culture icon's poster over said hole. problem solved. they respect you already, come on, you fell through the ceiling! they may even think its cool. the critters in the attick should like it too. more heat.

so, you ask, what to do about the wife. easy. switch to briefs. not the tighty whity hanes or fruitotheloom though, some calvin klein or speedo or something. maybe colors. she wont know what to think. promise.

i do belive my work here is done.

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I have not had an issue, but I would say that is large though, must be a nice camera. I use paint to shrink them, then save them as a .jpg and then hit the option button and use the add/update button and select the shrunk photo of my pc and hit the save button . Seems to work for me, would like to see your pics. I am about to head off to a Halloween party as a Flasher. Only if I could post a picture, but Amy would have my @ss in a sling. My mom made the equipment (god knows mine is nothing to mention) via Pantyhose materiel with egg size gonads and a 12 inche member attached to large womens panty hose with pubic hairs. Its classic, never the less an adult party. I brought a $79 trentch coat at sims and customized an old dress shirt shirt and tie to make sure when I flash, that I flash. Anyway enjoy your night.

No doubt I will have a four star hangover tomorrow.

if these necks can pull it off then come on man you can.

http://www.totaljackass.com/mpegs/2isbetterthan1.mpg

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