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If you are in need of a smile, read this:

Daddy Dee

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A few true stories about the Police back in the UK:

First story:

Friend of mine's father was driving along minding his own business in his new 7 series BMW. Thing is - he was doing 110 mph. Police pulled him over and cop comes up to the window. He presses the button to wind the window down and the policeman asks:

"Having trouble taking off wing-commander?"

Second story:

Another friend's dad had an XJS and a 928 porsche on order. On his last outing with the XJS he is on the motorway (freeway to you) and thinks - hmm - I wonder what she'll do?

So he puts his foot down and heads home.

He lived in a large farm house with a courtyard in front. Pulls in to the courtyard, gets out and heads into the house. He puts the key in the front door and 6 policecars arrive as he is doing so - along with a Police helicopter overhead.

In court the police report said "We were doing 130 mph when he left us."

He got banned for 6 months - the same day the porsche was delivered.

Third story:

I was driving a Ford XR2 - sporty small car in Europe - back in the day and all that.

Anyway I am on the motorway and put my foot down. I am heading slightly uphill and the car speedo is locked on 99 mph and it wont go any faster. Just as I am wondering where all the power has gone I see blue flashing lights behind me.

Pull in and wind the window down. Policeman comes up - looks in the passenger seat - looks in the back seat - looks in the trunk (hatchback) - "where is she?"


"Your heavliy pregnant wife."

"Oh," I cottoned on and replied,

"Oh crap - I thought she was in your car - you mean we left her back in the service station?"

"I had you down at 93 mph," he said.

I was seriously relieved as I thought it was 99. I didn't attempt to deny it and we both laughed and he let me off with a stern warning.

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Now I'm thinking, bring a lot of cash and the Alfa 164 up to Montana, and see how fast she goes, knowing that if I'm caught the fine should be way less than anywhere else, and not likely to be reported to my home state.

If anyone thinks the world is small, then i challenge them to drive from Texas to Montana, even Colorado to Montana. Notice the lack of cell phone signal through three states. Notice the lack of people through same. There are more pronghorn than people. Notice the feeling of remoteness and this is on an interstate highway! Just imagine how much more remote it is outside of view of the interstate. When you feel closed in by development just take this trip, and realize just how much land there can be between you and civilization. This is from a guy who is used to wide open spaces in the state of Texas.

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