Guy Shares His Experience Of The Most Embarrassing Prostate Exam Ever. Awkward!
POSTED 8 MNTHS
COMMENTS
Let’s just say I ignored myself. Embarrassed as, I tried to bluster through an explanation she just gave me an "I've seen it all before don't you worry" smile, patted my on my shoulder and then said that she needed to do a prostate exam. I would need to lower my briefs and lie on my side. "Odd" I thought again but only briefly as I was trying to tuck my errant old fella away out of sight.
Now at this point, I would like to make a serious complaint about the education system of the seventies and eighties. No-one explained enough about the prostate when you're at school. Most blokes don't know what it is, let alone where it is or how it’s checked. All we know is its in the section of the school textbook where there are pictures of naked people that other students over the years have decorated with little spectacles and moustaches, arrows, people's names and suchlike.
So I was lying there still smarting from embarrassment when suddenly it felt like the doctor rammed a log of firewood up my nethers. "A bit taken aback" is probably the politest way of describing my reaction but she persisted, rummaging around like Santa searching his grotto for a present and I swear at one point she might have been in up to her bloody elbow.
If this wasn't enough, the mince and cheese pie and my over-active metabolism came back to haunt me. I farted long and hard and, my oh my, it smelled like it came from the deepest depth of Satan's own backside. I can quite comfortably say that the embarrassment of becoming sexually aroused during a hernia and testicular exam pales into insignificance when you fart in a doctors face. So, needless to say, I haven't been back to the Doctor for a year and a half. My missus says the doctor often asks after me and I suspect there's been a bit of a breach of doctor/patient confidence because she always sniggers when she tells me this. Oh, and I saw the receptionist in the supermarket a month after the exam and she was laughing uncontrollably and pretending she had read something amusing on the back of a cereal packet. Personally, I’ve never seen anything on a cornflakes box that is THAT funny so she must know too.
This is why I hate insurance salesman - if it wasn't for them I'd still be mates with my doctor.
