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HarryO

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Everything posted by HarryO

  1. HarryO

    for Fini

    Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.' The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?' The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find this land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.' Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'
  2. The guy deserves his day in court. Period! I believe in our country, it's rules, constitution, and what it stands for. First and foremost. He's a member of our armed forces. He wouldn't be the first wack job that lost it in the services. IF..yes IF...It's a personal attack on our system then please choose me to "pull the switch", "fire the bullet", or drop the gas tab on his sorry azz. AFTER we interrogate him at one of our "Secret Interrogation Bases" for a couple of years. But ONLY after due process of OUR laws. It's what sets us apart from some other forms of government around the globe. Being military, a different set of military laws will take precedent. It won't be easy on him. Nor should it be easy on him. May justice be done and may peace be found for his victims.
  3. The more I'm learning about this tradgedy the harder it hits me. I'm hearing a lot of factors that when you throw 'em in the pot it's gonna boil over. Like many a disturbed soul that would commit an act like this, there's more than one issue that's caused this. As a former member of the U.S. Military system......Well, let's just say I've been given many an order that's beyond my comprehension and NOT what I would call intelligent. Even in hindsight. Bad situation here boys and girls. I hope they fix it so it don't happen again. There's been a lot of killin' in the name of religeon, love, money, and where I come from....don't kick a man's dog either. Stupidity can be thrown in the mix too. I've never been to a shrink (might shoulda gone a couple of times) and lord only knows what runs through their minds. I hope this weren't over a Nascar wreck or something serious. Coulda been a #3 fan run amuck. There's a bunch of "what if's and how come's" here. Let 'em sort it out and get it fixed.
  4. I use clear drying speaker surround glue. It's not too hard that it may break the glass IF/WHEN you move or change a tube. I've been doing it a couple of years and it's holding up good. NO issues with it. I'll send you some if you need it. Harry
  5. I remember our military would keep Japanese Americans from fighting the Japanese in the Pacific. Similar programs were in place to keep a soldier from "fighting one's own race" when possible. There might have been issues involved here that caused the turmoil. Seems like he perceived his upcoming deployment as being against his faith. My faith is strong and I'm sure I'd have issues fighting against my Christian faith. Bless all and their loved ones. May the healing be kind to all. I can only hope this isn't swept under the carpet and the truth comes out. At least as it's best understood in the investigation. I'm sure there's going to be a lot of different angles shown in the news on this. Let the truth be told as it is. Openly and honestly. It's the only way we can understand and learn.
  6. HarryO

    for Fini

    The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' 'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.' 'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!' A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amaz ing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
  7. HarryO

    for Fini

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR SEX TOYS SHOP. YOU ASKED FOR THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY. PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM BECAUSE THAT IS OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
  8. Just guessing here but I'd be looking at source or pre first. Distorted signal maybe? Have you tried switching out amps or pre? I'd be looking for something besides the amps. Just guessing but I'd be switching out a few things before I blamed the K amps. That's a weird problem I haven't seen before out of an amp. And to have two of them act up...... They're a very stable amplifier. Harry
  9. Happy Birthday Rob. Miss ya Pal. Harry
  10. HarryO

    for Fini

    Old > Fart Football > > > An old > married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old > man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' > > > His > wife rolls over and says, 'What in > the > world was > that?' > The old man > replied, 'It's fart > football.' > > A few minutes > later his wife lets one go > and > says > 'Touchdown, > tie score.' > > After about five > minutes the old man > lets > another one go and > says, > 'Aha. I'm > ahead 14 to 7.' > > > Not > to be outdone the wife rips out > another > one and > says, > 'Touchdown, > tie score.' > > Five seconds go > by and she lets out a little squeaker and > says, > 'Field > goal, I > lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man. > > > He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so > he strains real hard. > Since defeat > is totally unacceptable,he gives it everything > he's got, > and accidentally > poops in the bed. > > The wife says, > 'What the hell was > that?' > > The > old man says, 'Half time, switch > sides. > >
  11. HarryO

    for Fini

    An old man goes into the drug store to buy some Viagra. "Can I get 6 tablets cut into quarters"? the old man asked. The pharmacist replies " a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection" The old man pops back "I'm 96 years old fella, I don't want a full erection, just stickin' out far enough so as not to pee on my slippers?
  12. HarryO

    for Fini

    Bubba is driving down a back road in Alabama . A sign in front of a restaurant reads: HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL Lobster Tail and Beer "Lord a'mighty," he says to himself, "my three favorite things!"
  13. HarryO

    for Fini

    THE POTTY A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE. BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY.. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE 'DOODY' YET." MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?" BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."
  14. Colts vs Giants or NO. All predictions subject to players health and gamblers line.
  15. HarryO

    for Fini

    A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was trudging through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried towards it, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties. The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?' The Jewish man replied, 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only 15 shekels.' The Taliban shouted, 'Infidel! I do not need an overpriced tie! I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!' 'OK, OK' said the old Jewish man, 'It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.' Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead. 'Your bas @ ard brother won't let me in without a tie!'
  16. HarryO

    for Fini

    ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET12659 --- CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!' ... I just lost it.'
  17. HarryO

    for Fini

    Sunday Morning Sex I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling. Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning..." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that to people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.. Oh no, my dear," replied granny.. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous; simply in on the ding and out on the dong." She paused to wipe away a tear and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
  18. Ever wanted to say thank you to our servicemen and women?
  19. HarryO

    for Fini

    "Morning Sex" She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly," You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her And then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
  20. HarryO

    for Fini

    Subject: political correctness Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS . And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN.' 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.' 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is i n 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ***' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' 6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.
  21. HarryO

    for Fini

    Once upon a time . . . A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be more than Ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?' 'Well... You pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Lexus.' The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. And so he asks, 'What are the three tests?' 'You must pay first . . . Those are the rules,' says the bartender. So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar. 'Okay,' the bartender says, 'Here's what you need to do: First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you can't make a face while doing it. Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands. Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex . . . you have to take care of that problem!' The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and then do all those other things...' 'Your call,' says the bartender . . . But, your money stays where it is.' As time goes on, and the man has a few more drinks, he finally says, 'Where's the damn tequila?' He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks . . . But he doesn't make a face, and he did it in fifty-eight seconds! Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon the people inside the bar hear growling, biting, and screaming sounds . . . then nothing but silence! Just when they think that the man surely must be dead he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped open and there are scratches, and he's bleeding all over his body. He says, 'Now where's that old woman with the bad tooth?'
  22. HarryO

    for Fini

    The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes.. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer. The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?'' The old Chief calmly replied, '' Vietnam ''.
  23. HarryO

    for Fini

    AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.' ************ ********* ********* * MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine.. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE: What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth! 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine... 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15.. Retrieve cash and receipt.. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.. 27. Release Parking Brake.
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