edwinr Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 How to Tell the Sex of a Fly... A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvel Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Nice -- here's another one: The Italian Tomato Garden An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Dad, Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES. Love, Vinnie At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Vinnie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Hardy Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 OK... Howzabout another fly joke? A contest was held in feudal Japan to identify the greatest Samurai swordsman of the land. Three finalists appeared at the contest. The first Samurai was led in, and a small lacquered wooden box was produced. The box was opened, and a single fly emerged. As the fly flew, the first Samurai swung his blade, and the fly dropped to the ground, severed in two. The second Samurai entered, and another box was brought in. This Samurai's blade slashed twice, and the fly dropped to the ground in quarters. The third Samurai was summoned. The box was opened, the fly flew, and the Samurai's blade flashed. "You have failed", said the judge sternly. "The fly still flies". "Yes" said the Samurai, "but he can no longer reproduce." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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