m00n Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Tickle Me Elmo There is a factory in <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena . I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday..." Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksonbart Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Doesn't Elmo have balls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 Doesn't Elmo have balls? I could so go somewhere with this but it's a family site. [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Adams Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 A woman meets this guy in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?" The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says, "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Oh dude, that's just wrong! Funny as hell, but wrong.[] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted November 17, 2006 Author Share Posted November 17, 2006 LOL, Tom that was too damn funny!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel's wife Posted November 19, 2006 Moderators Share Posted November 19, 2006 I really needed some comic relief this morning. You guys are too funny. Thanks.[] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.