Remembering Family at Christmas

[BigStewMan]

Hang in there Larry.

[j-malotky]

I had an uncle pass away this year on Christmas eve. He was ready to go home to his lord as he had been pretty sick the last few years.

He and my aunt went to Christmas eve service to watch their grandaughter play piano during the service.

He got home, sat in his chair and peacefully died a few minutes later.

Rest in Peace Uncle Marley.

JM

[BigStewMan]

I had an uncle pass away this year on Christmas eve. He was ready to go home to his lord as he had been pretty sick the last few years.

He and my aunt went to Christmas eve service to watch their grandaughter play piano during the service.

He got home, sat in his chair and peacefully died a few minutes later.

Rest in Peace Uncle Marley.

JM

WOW. I LOVE my granddaughter and I'm sure Uncle Marley would agree that there are fewer sights that could have been better to see as you are leaving this life than a beautiful grandchild.

[kevinmi]

I Visited my Mom yesterday on Christmas. My Sister from Indy was there. My brother from Florida called, and as I was talking to him on the phone, I got up from the dinner table to find somewhere quieter to hear the phone conversation. I ended up in my Father's office, which is still the same as he left it in May of this year when he left us for a better place.

I started thinking of all the Christmas's past, of the ones I had missed because the roads were too bad, other parties to go to, just feeling too lazy to drive. After all, it was just going to see the folks, no big deal.

I didn't bother to make it to Easter dinner this year at the folks.Or Dad's birthday in March.

Last Christmas was the last time I talked to my Father.

I thought he would always be there.

I miss you Dad

[BigStewMan]

i beat myself up alot for things that i've done or not done; but, i think that having some regrets in life is unavoidable. I'm sure that our parents understand, and they probably can relate to us doing other things as they probably did the same when they were younger.

i broke down not too long ago when somebody brought out some old home movies. i was 8 years old and it was Christmas (1968). i was on the ground playing with my Christmas toys and my Dad was sitting in a chair behind me. He was recovering from a broken neck & broken back from a car accident. he was wearing this metal contraption around his head & torso. I watched that movie and started to cry--this was my Dad's last Christmas and my Mom had died on Thanksgiving the previous month. Instead of holding his hand and telling him that I loved him--I was playing with toys. i try to tell myself that I was only eight years old; but, that doesn't comfort me too much. For some reason, I think I should have been more aware of the reality that was around me.

[dtel's wife]

i beat myself up alot for things that i've done or not done; but, i think that having some regrets in life is unavoidable. I'm sure that our parents understand, and they probably can relate to us doing other things as they probably did the same when they were younger.

i broke down not too long ago when somebody brought out some old home movies. i was 8 years old and it was Christmas (1968). i was on the ground playing with my Christmas toys and my Dad was sitting in a chair behind me. He was recovering from a broken neck & broken back from a car accident. he was wearing this metal contraption around his head & torso. I watched that movie and started to cry--this was my Dad's last Christmas and my Mom had died on Thanksgiving the previous month. Instead of holding his hand and telling him that I loved him--I was playing with toys. i try to tell myself that I was only eight years old; but, that doesn't comfort me too much. For some reason, I think I should have been more aware of the reality that was around me.

BigStewMan,

You have heard me talk about my 8 year old grandson, Buddy pretty often on this forum and a lot of you know him personally. He is one of the most sensitive eight year olds I have come across in my 50 years of life on this earth. That being said, it is obvious to me that an eight year old deals with reality a little differently than most adults. Buddy is very loving, but I find he "distracts" himself when I am ill or another family member is sick. Eight year olds don't really understand the depth of life and death, even though they realize very sick people may die.

You are not being fair to yourself by thinking you "should have been more aware of the reality that was around you." Undoubtedly you were in a state of despair over your mother's death the previous month and I doubt the possibility of losing your father even crossed your mind at that age. The guilt you carry is a heavy burden and you need to find a way to release the needless pain you are causing yourself.

I am sure your father would not want you carrying this burden, just as I am sure he was at peace watching you play with your toys. He was secure in knowing you would be okay....you need to honor his feelings.

[colterphoto1]

Thank you all for sharing your precious memories and heartaches. If nothing else, we have the knowledge that we are not alone in our losses and pain, especially at the holidays.

This truly is a [{]Family[}] here on the Forum.

Michael

[BigStewMan]

Thank you all for sharing your precious memories and heartaches. If nothing else, we have the knowledge that we are not alone in our losses and pain, especially at the holidays.

 

This truly is a Family here on the Forum. 

 

Michael

I agree--life ain't always easy and for a bunch of people that I've never met--i sure do have a lot in common with many of you.

P.S. Thank you Christy for those encouraging words. I know my Dad wouldn't want me spending my life bummed out about that. I guess it's just one of those "if I could have "do overs" I wish I wouldn't hung out with my Dad. But, you're right-at that time, I had no idea he was close to death.

Like Michael said--thanks to everyone for sharing and listening.

[fini]

I took care of my Mom's medical stuff, taking her to docs, visiting, etc. in the last year of her life. Everyone told me what a good son I was, and I still felt like I didn't do enough. Goes with the territory, I think. You don't ever stop missing them, either. It's great to remember the good times though, isn't it? As you might imagine, my folks were both characters!