@wuzzzer hang in there brother ... I know what you're going through. my life has been SERIOUSLY affected in the negative due to this relentless head trip. I don't get like you described as feeling like I'm going to die; but I'll get literally paralyzed by fear to the point where I just don't know what to do. Many simply don't understand what we're going through. I've talked my brother through one of my episodes and when I'm describing it, it does sound silly and the things I'm fearing are technically possibly; but most likely would never happen. That doesn't help in the midst of an attack though. I even had people that are close to me get angry at me when I was having an attack, it's like telling someone with cancer ... just don't have cancer. Telling me to just stop worrying or being fearful is like a slap in the face ... as if we CHOOSE to live this way. of course I'm the butt of family jokes now, I don't think they intend to hurt my feelings; but so far nobody understands how tortuous this all is -- it stopped being funny long ago.
I'm glad that you find comfort talking about it and I hope your support system is strong and patient.
Loved the Ativan; but am allergic to two other drugs that were given to me to try. Ativan didn't stop any attack; but I'm sure it helped lessen them. I would take one when I was going into a situation where I was uncomfortable and found that it often put me in a good mood ... I felt like the old me ... or would that be the younger me when I was normal (okay, I probably never was normal; but I used to be closer to normal than I am now).
Peace and take care ... praying for you my friend.