Tarnation. I sure do hate Insipid, Treacle, Goody, Goody...

[thebes]

...lyrics.

Yesireebob it's time for another rant by yours truly, Grumpy Thebes.

Now look, I understand that a lot of popular song writing is a deliberate attempt to tug on a heart string or two. Nthing wrong with using an emotionally charged phrases to snag a listener. We all have emotions and I 'm pretty sure that if music didn't evoke them, we'd soon stop playing music.

Yeah but. Yeah but is right. Sure excess and music go together hand-in-hand, but whoa Nelly, sometimes things are overblown, not to make a point, but to tug on the hearstrings of the less discerning of our populace.

The worst offenders?

Arena Rock Groups?

Mistral Singers?

Vegas Acts?

Nah.

It's Nashville, of course. A massive marketing money scheme that masquerades as some sort of world-wide focus of musical talent.

Pull my finger please, it's all about the money and it's all about the schmaltz.

Don't believe me. I submit for the court of opinion:

PATCHES

Clarence Carter



SPOKEN:

I was born and raised down in Alabama

On a farm way back up in the woods

I was so ragged the kids would call me patches

Papa used to kid me about it

Of course deep down inside

He was thinkin he had done all he could do

My papa was a great old man

I can see him with a shovel in his hand

See, education he never had

But he did wonders when the time got bad

A little money from the crops he raised

Barely paid the bills we made

Oh life had kicked him down to the plow

When he tried to get up life would kick him back down

One day papa called me to his dyin bed

Put his hands on my shoulders And in tears he said

Patches, I'm depending on you son

To pull the family through My son, it's all left up to you



SPOKEN:

Two days later papa passed away

I became a man that day

So I told mama I was gonna quit school

But she said that was dad's strictest rule

So every morning 'fore I went to school

I fed the chickens and I chopped wood too

Sometimes I felt that I couldn't go on

I wanted to leave this but I wanted a home

But I always remembered what my daddy said

With tears in his eyes on his dyin bed

He said, "Patches, I'm depending on you son

I tried to do my best, It's up to you to do the rest



SPOKEN:

But then one day a strong rain came

And washed all the crops away

And at the age of thirteen I thought I was carrying

The weight of the whole world on my shoulders

And you know, mama knew what I was going through, Cause

Everyday I had to work the fields

Cause that's the only way we got our meals

You see, I was the oldest of a family

And everybody else depended on me

Every night I heard my mama pray

Lord, give him the strength to face another day

Though years have passed and all the kids are gone

I aimed to take my mama to a brand new home

God knows people that I shed a tear

My daddy's voice helped me through the years

Sayin, "Patches, I'm depending on you son

To pull the family through My son, it's all left up to you

I could still hear papa when he'd say

Patches, I'm depending on you son

I tried to do my best It's up to you to do the rest".

[Myhamish]

G'day, Mr. Thebes, Get out the hankies. How about 'Down from Dover' - a duet by Nancy Sinatra (sigh) and Lee Hazlewood - RIP - (brilliant producer & songwriter, debatable singer in the Cohenesque way)

Down from Dover - written by Dolly Parton - sung by Nancy (sigh) Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood

Nancy (sigh)
I know this dress I'm wearing doesn't hide the secret I've tried concealing
When he left he promised me he'd be back by the time it was revealing
The sun behind a cloud just casts the crawling shadow o'er the fields of clover
And time is running out for me, I wish that he would hurry down from Dover.

Lee
I've been gone so long, when I left the snow was deep upon the ground.
And she has seen a spring and summer coming now; the leaves are turning brown.
At any time a tiny face will show itself; the waiting's almost over.
But she won't have a name to give it if I don't hurry down from Dover.

Nancy (sigh)
My folks weren't understanding, when they found out they sent me from the home place.
My daddy said if folks found out he'd be ashamed to ever show his face.
My mamma said I was a fool, she did not believe it when I told her.
Momma, everything's gonna be all right 'cause soon he would be coming down from Dover.

Lee
She loved me more than anything; she could not refuse me when I needed her.
She was the only one I'd loved and she did not believe that I was usin' her.

Nancy (sigh)
He couldn't leave me here like this, I know it can't be so, it can't be over.

Lee
I wouldn't make her go through this alone, although I'll be coming down from Dover.

Nancy (sigh)
My body aches the time is here it's lonely in this place where I'm lying.
Our baby has been born, but something's wrong, it's much too still, I hear no crying.
I guess in some strange way she knew she'd never have a father's arms to hold her.
And dying was her way of tellin' me he wasn't coming down from Dover.

Slainte, Hamish

[gnatnoop]

i don't listen to any country music....ok, maybe once in a very blue moon...., but, who listens to lyrics anyway?

i'm only half serious here. i listen to the music itself, the instruments used, the skill of the musician, the tempo and all the other aspects of a piece. the last thing i'm listeniing to is the lyrics. these guys are musicians, not intellectuals or philosophers. but hey, i don't listen to my mom either....[]

[pauln]

Oh come on, how can you not like a song like....

[gnatnoop]

touche'

[Mallette]

Shucks, Thebes, them Nashville cats is all department store cowboys.

Bob Wills is the REAL deal and we got plenty more like him right here in the Republic.

Yawl come on down and sit a spell, ya heah? We'll toss a few Fuut Wuth Frisbees, lighten a case of Shiner, and Awwwwwhaawww in the background along with Bob. And if we get tired of that, remember:

My friends come over Saturday night
Man its nice to make up some sangria wine
Its organic and it comes from the vine
Its also legal and it gets you so high
And I love that sangria wine
Love to drink it with old friends of mine
Yeah I love to get drunk with friends of mine
When were drinkin that ole sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Start with some wine
Add some apples and brandy and some sugar some spice
Ole friends always show up on time
Thats why you add _(?)_ in burgundy wine
I love ole sangria wine
When I drink it with ole friends of mine
Yeah I love to drink with ole friends of mine
When we get drunk on that sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
In Texas on a Saturday night
Everclear is added to the wine sometimes
Nachos, burritos, and tacos who knows
How it usually goes, it goes
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Yeah I love that sangria wine
Just like I love ole friends of mine
They tell the truth when theyre mixed with the wine
Thats why I love the lemons and lime
I love that sangria wine
Love to drink it with ole friends of mine
Yeah I love to drink with friends of mine
When we get drunk on that sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine
Whoooah I love sangria wine

Now, don't you feel better Marty? Marty? MARTY?

Sheesh, somebody get a bucket of cold well water...

Dave

[thebes]

First Hamish invokes my gag reflex and now Dave's given me a massive hangover from drinking a gallon of cheap Sangria.

You boyos sure do light up my life:

So many nights I sit by my window

Waiting for someone to sing me his song

So many dreams I kept deep inside me

Alone in the dark but now

You've come along

You light up my life

You give me hope

To carry on

You light up my days

and fill my nights with song

Rollin' at sea, adrift on the water

Could it be finally I'm turning for home?

Finally, a chance to say hey,

I love You

Never again to be all alone

You light up my life

You give me hope

To carry on

You light up my days

and fill my nights with song

You light up my life

You give me hope

To carry on

You light up my days

and fill my nights with song

It can't be wrong

When it feels so right

'Cause You

You light up my life

[Blvdre]

I've been ready for this thread for a looooong time. I give you, "Seasons in the sun". I gagged just typing that.

Goodbye to you, my trusted friend.
We've known each other since we're nine or
ten.
Together we climbed hills or trees.
Learned of love and
ABC's,
skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.
Goodbye my friend, it's
hard to die,
when all the birds are singing in the sky,
Now that the
spring is in the air.
Pretty girls are everywhere.
When you see them I'll
be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the hills
that we climbed
were just seasons out of time.

Goodbye, Papa, please pray
for me,
I was the black sheep of the family.
You tried to teach me right
from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
wonder how I get
along.
Goodbye, Papa, it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in
the sky,
Now that the spring is in the air.
Little children
everywhere.
When you see them I'll be there.

We had joy, we had fun, we
had seasons in the sun.
But the wine and the song,
like the seasons, all
have gone.

Goodbye, Michelle, my little one.
You gave me love and helped
me find the sun.
And every time that I was down
you would always come
around
and get my feet back on the ground.
Goodbye, Michelle, it's hard to
die
when all the bird are singing in the sky,
Now that the spring is in
the air.
With the flowers ev'rywhere.
I wish that we could both be
there.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
But the stars we
could reach
were just starfishs on the beach

[bkrop]

They sure don't write them like the ole Johnny cash song.....

From the backdoor of your life you swept me out dear
In the bread line of your dreams I lost my place
At the table of your love I got the brush off
At the Indianapolis of your heart I lost the race

I've been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you've got me out of your conscience
I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

In the garbage disposal of you dreams I've been ground up dear
On the river of your plans I'm up the creek
Up the elevator of your future I've been shafted
On the calendar of your events I'm last week

I've been washed down the sink of your conscience
In the theater of your love I lost my part
And now you say you've got me out of your conscience
I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart

[Mallette]

Sheesh, I responded with SUBSTANCE. I don't think I'll be back here as somebody is going to dig up some Bobby Sherman lyrics and get the thread locked for environmental reasons...

Dave

[Blvdre]

bkrop, that's a classic. Terrible, but tongue in cheek. I have it on my ipod.