cluless Posted September 10, 2002 Share Posted September 10, 2002 Ok This is it. There is only one solution to subwoofer problems for any shape room and listening preference situation.... Here is is WOOOFFFFOOOOMATIC! Completely configurable for the perpetually "BE THERE OR BE SQUARE UNIT, which considers music quality first" or the "ULTIMATE I'LL BE A ROUND DUDE,which considers music volume first". Just use your specially tuned set of allen wrenches to add as many sides to your configurable unit as desired. Is cubism your preferred art form? or do you prefer the Dali inspired spirals...No problem! Just a simple turn of the wrench and VOILA, you can go from a 4 sided figure to a smooth curve...in just a few turns of the tool. Jonesy! I heard from a semi-unreliable source that that Jonesy was the cat name from the movie Alien. SH*T...gonna have to post this just to see what I wrote....teee hee.... MAJOR FLOMPY DISCLAIMER This post was inspired by people claiming to have "ULITIMATE SOLUTIONS". There is no basis of fact here. Round, Square, I don't care. Just as long as it works for me...And I would bet donuts to dollars, that if any forum member came in to critique my system, they would leave the room shreiking...Hey but I'm happy. This message has been edited by cluless on 09-10-2002 at 07:58 PM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBB Posted September 11, 2002 Share Posted September 11, 2002 A better subwoofer solution. Here's your chance to have the revolutionary Space Reconfiguration Jiffy Pop Subwoofer. Hi , Billy Amaze Haze here, to introduce this revolutionary product.. Just think of it ! Dream of never having the old Wife/Girlfriend/Spouse/Boyfriend/Uncle/Aunt/Grandma/Grandpa/Neighbor/BlindDate/Landlord/Building Inspector or Small furry animal Acceptance Factor to worry about. Set up the Jiffy Pop Sub in the attic, basement, garage, under beds, behind sofas, in suitcases, RV's, next to the man behind the screen or even boats! Combo pack includes 2 large space saver inflatable drivers with Zipper lock seal. Just hook them up to any vacuum cleaner in reverse and Presto Chango! Youve converted this sub from a postage size stamp into a 10,000 square foot stomp. These are quality woofers. Look at these specs. All weather radial with a maximum load rating corresponding to a minimum cold inflation pressure of 4,000lbs at 100 PSI below 20 db and 5,000 PSI Hot! Well within the DOT (Department of Transformation) specifications for safe booming. Thats right ladies and gents. It is the only inflating sub that fully inflates in less than a minute and deflates by the next weekend. The deflation operation can be sped up by taking advantage of our Ginsu Masta Classic 7 piece Kitchen Bathroom Living room Home Theater Knife set. A must for any party. (Sorry .We will not ship in sub box) You know our motto Rearrange your room with any vacuum. Order now and get a free blowup center speaker as seen on your TV! So have your credit card handy when you call. Or anyones credit card for that matter. So help the economy by fighting inflation by using inflation with our inflatable Jiffy Pop Subwoofer blowout sale. Order in the next ten minutes and get a free self winding retractable bass speaker wire attachment for your vacuum. Wow! Just imagine having all your systems bottom problems solved with one flick of a switch. Hurry now and find out why they call these subs The Air Hammer !!! ------------------ tHe wORLDs werst TYPesT> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justin_tx_16 Posted September 11, 2002 Share Posted September 11, 2002 I was just watching a Ronco advertisement the other day ... only thing on and we have like 250 channels... can i borrow your signature? I must be tHe wORLDs SEcound werst TYPesT> ------------------ -justin SoundWise promediatech@Klipsch.com /1-888-554-5665 - RA# 800-554-7724 ext 5s> Email Me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEAR Posted September 11, 2002 Share Posted September 11, 2002 Thank you dear experts,I will keep this interesting info in mind. But what I really want is a Turbo Mega Hyper Omega Sunfire Signature III with a 54000W RMS amp driving a 12" active woofer with the largest voice coil(8" !!!)capable of 100KW peaks!And a linear of 5" ! Anyone up to the challenge? TheEAR(s) Now theears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cluless Posted September 12, 2002 Author Share Posted September 12, 2002 Subwoofer Linked to Mental Illness Numerous owners of the new WOOOFFFFOOOOMATIC subwoofer have been recently institutionalized. Statistics gathered from mental health facilities, have indicated an marked increase in obsessive compulsive behavior among owners of this subwoofer. Evidently, this speaker is so configurable that the owners spend hours on end, disregarding all other obligations, modifying the speaker in an attempt to reach audio nirvana. One owner was forcibly brought into a NJ facility screaming ?It?s still off by .000000000000000000000000000000000001?. C. Luless, the owner of the company which produces the WOOOFFFFOOOOMATIC has been arrested on 20 counts of fraud for impersonating an audiophile. When questioned, her only reply was simply, WHEEEEEEEEE Inflatable Subs Recalled The entire beta version line of the Space Reconfiguration Jiffy Pop Subwoofer, manufactured by Billy?s Booming Bass Inc., has been recalled. During the inflation process the patented zipper lock seal separates from the vacuum hose causing the sub to become airborne. The Federal Aviation Administration has issued advisories to pilots, commercial and private, to be aware that these objects have been sighted at altitudes up to 30,000 feet, and the flight path of these objects is very erratic. Several near miss situations have been avoided. Founder/Inventor Billy Amaze Haze stated that all factory tests were up to specifications using a top of the line Electrolux vacuum, and blames the failure on inferior vacuum models. However, the original vacuum cleaner was not available for inspection at the time of this report to substantiate his claim. EARS International Makes Breakthrough in Sonotube Speaker Technology The Canadian owned, Extravagant Acoustic Research Scientifica International announced another breakthrough in speaker design today. A new subwoofer design, based on sonotube design concepts, has reached new lows in speaker performance. This speaker which is in fact a large scale paper towel tube can withstand drops from a 20 story buildings without structural damage of any kind. Homeowners world-wide have long been concerned with the structural integrity of this type of speaker. In the past, this design paradigm has been unable to tolerate such ordinary stresses such as: rolls down flights of stairs, vertical drops of over 50 feet, ejection from moving vehicles, and shipment cross country via UPS. The Turbo Mega Hyper Omega Sunfire Signature III boasts a 12 foot active woofer with a proprietary voice coil design. Powered by an on-board 54000W RMS amplifier this behemoth subwoofer can only be used in buildings constructed according to the seismic provisions in the international building code. Legislation is already being drafted in the state of Cali-florida to prevent sales or ownership of these speakers anywhere within the state. Y'all have a nice weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBB Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Sorry EARs but both our countries have signed a secret agreement to ban the possession of your desired equipment after a study showed it may cause North American brown outs resulting in interruptions in NORAD operations. Apparently taking care of their subs has priority over yours. ------------------ tHe wORLDs werst TYPesT> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEAR Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 I want my TMHOSS III! Damn NORAD Ultra TP roll news! The Ultra TP roll is also stackable! HornEd can now stack up to four rolls! TheEARS(s) Now theears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dafishguy Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 LOL, you folks are a riot. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAHAAAAAHA Wheeew... what a belly laugh... Why are all you people in my office looking at me like that???? Oh my god,... great now they know I surf at work...Oh well, I never really liked this place anyway... Take care Rick ------------------ Mains RF-7 Centre RC-7 Surrounds RS-7 Rear Centre 2 x RS-7 Sub SVS-CS Ultra x 2 Receiver Denon AVR-5803 DVD Denon 2800 T.V. Sony KP57HW40 Widescreen Computer Pro-Media 5.1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 LOL! ------------------ Coming soon... Home Theater: TV: Samsung WS-36Z4HF (36" Direct View 16:9) A/V Receiver: Denon AVC-A11SR (European version of Denon AVR-4802) DVD Player: Denon DVD-3800 Center: Klipsch RC-7 Mains: Klipsch RF-7s Surrounds: Klipsch RS-7s Subwoofer: Dual SVS CS-Ultras w/Samson S1000 amplifier This message has been edited by KAiN64 on 09-12-2002 at 11:37 AM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prodj101 Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 why would you want a 12 inch driver for a dream sub! honest to god, I'd take an 10 driver 18 inch sub, all of them having 10 inch linear, and all being drivin with one of Krell's master series amplifiers per driver. ------------------ New music system: 2.1 using SF-2's (soon to be RF-7's), and an RSW-15. for amplification Mcintosh MC02105, B&K PT-3 preamp, Sony SACD player. pioneer turntable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrWho Posted September 14, 2002 Share Posted September 14, 2002 or how bout a custom built 36inch sub don't believe they exist? go to disney world or how bout a wall full of 8 inch subs, built for massive frequency response (like 100 8 inch subs...running only 25 watts in each is like a 2500 watt system) why stop there? why not have an entire house where the walls/floors/cielings are coated with em? that'd go well with a nice new cheese slicer ------------------ -if it's not broken, fix it anyway- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space_cowboy Posted September 15, 2002 Share Posted September 15, 2002 LOL....too funny cluless, thanks... ------------------ Turntable - Pro-Ject 2.0 Phono Preamp - Parasound PPH-100 PreAmp - ASL AQ2004DT Amp - ASL Wave 8 mono blocks Receiver - H/K AVR-210 DVD - Sony DVP-S360 Mains - KLF-20 Center - KLF-C7 Surrounds - Optimus Pro LX-10 Sub - Yamaha YST-SW160 Reinforcement - JBL 4638 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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