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Very bad day


anarchist

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Too bad you feel that way, Dean. I dont know of anything more defined in nature than life and death. Sadness results from the loss but to say death is not natural in the ultimate sense of the word is a strange position and a bit askew. Perhaps you might look it up.

It seems fitting for humans to turn it into something maudlin or religious, something I personally dont find necessary, but something that seems very necessary for ones looking for explanation and a reason in terms easily definable. Ironically, despite appearances to the contrary, I always found that self-serving in a strange way.

The last service I attended was totally religious in nature. I found very little personal nor life giving relating to the beauty of the individual. I am in the minority I know.

While this is not a popular position in this forum, I find humor, sense of the absurd, life, sadness, misery, worry, happiness, intellect, emotion, and the drama of it all, including DEATH, to be part of the whole natural process of extistance.

kh

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Original Post edited. No reason to use Crash's thread as a pulpit. Sorry everyone.

A person does not 'become' religious. The truth is, we are all 'religious', as everyone has a 'belief system" through which they view reality. I believe your last post demonstrates this.

At any rate -- losing someone is a major bummer, no matter what angle you take it from

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Dean

I am not accusing you of attempting to start a war but given that discussions of religion and/or politics in this forum invariably lead to nasty personal attacks and further given the circumstances that led to this thread I feel that such a discussion would be inappropriate here. In other words I am saying take it outside (ie. The General Forum).

Just my opinion.

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Sorry for your loss, Crash. Grandmom's are special, though, and should never be forgotten. Luckily for me, my dad's mom is 82 and still going strong, even after several prostate cancer operations and open-heart surgery less than a year ago. I know I'll miss her dearly after she's gone, but I try to keep in touch with her as often as I can while she's still with us! She's too special too ignore or take for granted!

May God be with you and your family during this time of loss.

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Hi everyone,

I wish to thank you all for the kind thoughts and to share some additional info and possibly emotion.

Grandma was 82; we had just celebrated her birthday in November. She had the usual ailments of old age - some arthritis in her knee and the prescription pills our doctors today feel so compelled to push. She watched her soaps, did yard work, fed the animals, did laundry the old fashioned way each day, and basically still took care of Mom and anyone else who was in the house. She was still cognizant and full of life. The suddeness of her death is shocking; she, in fact, appeared to be shocked as well. Just shortly before her death, she asked for an Aleve complaining her chest was hurting a bit. 10 minutes later, she gasped, and was gone. I still can't believe it and just talking about it hurts deeply.

Spoke to my Mom last night who is handling the ordeal very well although she states she has her moments. Talking to her about arrangements and the situation left me devasted once again. Mom has decided to cremate Grandma and do a "celebration memorial service." I was not sure how I would handle a traditional service emotionally but the thought of my Grandma being cremated and never getting to see her and say goodbye left me emotionally wrecked. Not sure how I feel about this particular issue yet although I think maybe keeping "Grandma" on the mantle would provide some feeling of having her here. Don't know. Could be permanently emotionally crippling.

My 10 year did try to comfort me and did help. She said, "Daddy, don't cry. We should be happy for Grandma, she is in a better place now. Her knee doesn't hurt anymore and she now exists all around us." I don't know where this kid came from.

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----------------

On 2/1/2003 7:47:36 PM crash827 wrote:

Hi everyone,

I wish to thank you all for the kind thoughts and to share some additional info and possibly emotion.

Grandma was 82; we had just celebrated her birthday in November. She had the usual ailments of old age - some arthritis in her knee and the prescription pills our doctors today feel so compelled to push. She watched her soaps, did yard work, fed the animals, did laundry the old fashioned way each day, and basically still took care of Mom and anyone else who was in the house. She was still cognizant and full of life. The suddeness of her death is shocking; she, in fact, appeared to be shocked as well. Just shortly before her death, she asked for an Aleve complaining her chest was hurting a bit. 10 minutes later, she gasped, and was gone. I still can't believe it and just talking about it hurts deeply.

Spoke to my Mom last night who is handling the ordeal very well although she states she has her moments. Talking to her about arrangements and the situation left me devasted once again. Mom has decided to cremate Grandma and do a "celebration memorial service." I was not sure how I would handle a traditional service emotionally but the thought of my Grandma being cremated and never getting to see her and say goodbye left me emotionally wrecked. Not sure how I feel about this particular issue yet although I think maybe keeping "Grandma" on the mantle would provide some feeling of having her here. Don't know. Could be permanently emotionally crippling.

My 10 year did try to comfort me and did help. She said, "Daddy, don't cry. We should be happy for Grandma, she is in a better place now. Her knee doesn't hurt anymore and she now exists all around us." I don't know where this kid came from.----------------

Have you told your mother about your feelings about having Grandma's remains cremated ? If you haven't told her she should know and if you have told her perhaps she needs to hear for a second time how strongly you feel. If after telling or retelling her she still wishes to proceed with cremation let it go - Perhaps there is a need on your mother's part to avoid the finality of a viewing and burial. We all have different ways of dealing with our losses and the ways we choose to deal with them tend to be self-protective at some level.

Tough time my friend ! Hang in there but you must accept that this is going to hurt like hell for some time to come and your response to this loss is entirely normal.

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