m00n Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 So the forum seems rather uneventfull today. It must be the alignment of the stars, moons, planets and what not because it's the same way here at work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dale W Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Hey rick old buddy !!! noticed the same thing . Things are a bit slow in my office today as well , but hey i'll E-mail you whats leaning against my desk right now and you'll see why i don't get much done . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicholtl Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 RICK, huh? So THAT'S Moon's real name. Har har har... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.4knee Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Yeah its a slow day as it would seem, but I don't think we can blame it on teh alignment of the stars or the m00n Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 yes Dale... Send me something interesting. ---------------- On 5/7/2004 3:02:23 PM J.4knee wrote: Yeah its a slow day as it would seem, but I don't think we can blame it on teh alignment of the stars or the m00n ---------------- Hey ya never know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 If you yelled for 8 years,7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Butterflies taste with their feet. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump. A cat's urine glows under a blacklight. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Starfish have no brains. Polar bears are left-handed. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 Ok... I know I'll most likely get in trouble for this, but damn, I giggled so hard snot came out my nose. Let me forwarn you it can be a tad objectional. Content is rated PG from the source where I found the joke.... ==================================================== Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !" "Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" "Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender. "Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on. "When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy son of a ***** didn't piss out the window right onto my head?" "Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood." "Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!" "Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender. "Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his *** out of the window and let loose right on my head !" The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day." "Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!" ==================================================== Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.4knee Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes" And you were doing what when you learned this....nah I don't think I want to know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenratboy Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 m00n - facinating stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankhokie Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 ---------------- Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump. ---------------- i hate to be the party pooper, but i would beg to differ that elephants are the only animals that can't jump... earthworms? snakes? ticks? etc.... maybe they are the only "mammals" ?? oh why am i even wondering about this??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 mOOn - good stuff and great joke. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBB Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Would you like to swing on a star Carry moonbeams home in a jar And be better off than you are Or would you rather be a pig. A pig is an animal with dirt on his face His shoes are a terrible disgrace He has no manners when he eats his food He's fat and lazy and extremely rude But if a 30 minute organism is what you dig You may grow up to be a pig. Or would you like to swing on a star Carry moonbeams home in a jar And be better off than you are Or would you rather be a flea. A flea is a bug thatll make you itch and scratch But just wait till all its eggs hatch All of them will be jumping 350 times their body length And they do it without any brains or body strength So if biting dogs and peoples your cup of tea You may grow up to be a flea. And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo Every day you meet quite a few So you see it's all up to you You can be better than you are You could be swingin' on a star Thats right, you could be swinging on a staaaaaaaar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Uh, I can't jump either... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted May 8, 2004 Author Share Posted May 8, 2004 tankhokie, Hey, I just found it on the internet, and that being the case, it MUST be true. BBB, nice one! Too much time on your hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klipsch Employees Trey Cannon Posted May 8, 2004 Klipsch Employees Share Posted May 8, 2004 Yea, that's what it is... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klipsch Employees Trey Cannon Posted May 8, 2004 Klipsch Employees Share Posted May 8, 2004 here is a close up... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Yeah, the forum is really slow today. As a matter of fact, I can't...keep my...eyes...open...ZZZZZZ...snort...drool...ZZZZZZ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBB Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Theres good news today, boys and girls. Treys last picture finished downloading! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cluless Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 A mule is an animal with long funny ears Kicks up at anything he hears His back is brawny but his brain is weak He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak And by the way, if you hate to go to school You may grow up to be a mule Would you like to swing on a star Carry moonbeams home in a jar And be better off than you are Trey- Have you considered dermi-brasion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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