m00n Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 I want to thank all of you who took the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months. I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to get a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected wi th AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time). I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM(PST) this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSport Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 Sweeeeeeet...more for me! Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmikid Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 I don't know what it is, but today I am really laughing out loud here on the forum! [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranjith Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 "I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program." lol, I can't help but wonder if someone out there actually believes any of that. Theres gotta be someone... just one, for the sake of my amusement Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travisc Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 http://www.themeatrix.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranjith Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 Moopheous! lol Pretty nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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