Hey Stew,
I understand what you've been through. My Mom passed away about 5 years ago. She had congestive heart failure, and had been in a slow decline for years. She lived in Omaha where my sis and her family live. I got a call from the hospital saying she was critical and if I wanted to have any chance to be with her, I should get going. I live in Miineapolis, and its a 400 mile drive. Yes, I broke every speed law in Iowa on the way down, but I got there and had a chance to tell her goodbye, how much we loved her, and the it was time to go and be with Dad (he'd passed away in '95). And in the next few minutes, her heart slowed and then stopped. She was gone. So I've been there and done that but don't let anybody kid you; with a loving family the hurt never really goes away.