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Tasteful Klipsch Limerick Anyone???


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Found this anonymous geek Limerick on the web and it sounded like something from our Two Channel Audio posters...

Blown Circuitry

There once was a little transistor

who constantly shorted his sister

his leads soon grew thin

the result of his sin

and now he is just a resistor

...and wondered how Forum members might unite "humor AND taste" to rise above the General doldrums of summer posts. So, here's a HornED attempt...

Fully Horn-Loaded Rebuttal

A bold Klipschorn critic named Fedders

Said in Hope that Bose were its betters...

While making no flap

Paul handed the chap

A yellow button with black letters!


This message has been edited by HornEd on 06-17-2002 at 12:09 PM

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My roommate in college (Al Parks)

loved digital records (Telarc's).

The cannons, when fired

on Klipschorns conspired

To separate gluons from Quarks!

We begged him to stop - a tirade -

then one day he got an upgrade.

Switched an old 2A3

for a 300B

and blew all of us halfway to Belgrade!

I'll go away now...


Music is art

Audio is engineering

Ray's Music System

This message has been edited by Ray Garrison on 06-17-2002 at 03:39 PM

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cwm40.gif Hmmm, as for the rhyming, how about...

Tee many martoonies through the lipsch

Inspired an insightful cluless qwipsch,

"My cats cavortsch

In the bass portsch

Making a litter box of my Klipsch!"

...but I haven't a clue about taste. Try Chimay Ale... it works for my monkfish. cwm32.gif -HornED

This message has been edited by HornEd on 06-17-2002 at 02:01 PM

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Yes, rhyming with Klipsch is a *****,

the thought of it makes my brain twitch,

but the effort is noble,

this community global

strives to rhyme Klipsch. It's our niche.

But even if Klipsch could be rhymed,

that effort could only be timed

in months, maybe years.

A mountain of tears

would surely be spilled ere it's climbed.

And once having figured a way

to rhyme someone's name in wordplay

you'd probably find

you'd lost half your mind

By trying to post some cliche.

So Klipsch we will hold in esteem

and not try to rhyme it, or gleam

the fame, only passing

that comes from enhancing

this forum with musings extreme.


Music is art

Audio is engineering

Ray's Music System

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You opened this can of worms, so I'll just rise up and take the bait

There once was a Klipschster named ed

Who posted on MANY a forum thread:

"I have this aversion

to wide angle dispersion

Give me monopole surrounds instead"

That's one green creepy crawler back at you...THWAP!


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There once was a Poor Monkey

Who married a witch

She murdered poor Monkey

With a poisoned monkfish

But Monkey made plans

That threw in a glitch

His will was read

And she thought shed be rich

But the battle axe was left

With hardly a stitch

The hag was then caught

By an old Monkey snitch

Part of her sentence

Was to stare in the ditch

Where Monkey was laying

Now here comes the hitch

On Poor Monkeys tombstone

He made his last pitch

All of you get nothin

And Im buried with my Klipsch !

Not great but I didn't spend a EEK,I mean a week writing it.



tHe wORLDs werst TYPesT>

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I got busted for P.U.I. last night. Sentenced to 300 hours of community service bashing bose cubes. The arresting occifer requested an extra harsh sentence because all I kept babbling about monkey's having big lipsch. ( I also called him a sonuvaklipsch, but I don't think that was part of the problem).

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Alas, Tom, your "Klipsching" penalty brings up such sad memories... of Slater, a 49¢ reddish goldfish that my son named after the famed S.F. 49er waterboy... and a "black and silver-gray" stray picked up after a game at the Oakland Coliseum.

A year or so passed, and then one Forum day in mid-post, I noticed Slater had disappeared from his "Candlestick Bowl" without a clue.

I was about to summon Forum resident Floppy Doodle Dandy, (icon98.gifs> U-Go-Girl) cluless, to cat-nip the mystery in the bud (...err, with a Bud?)... when your post, Tom, and Ray's scholarly ways, inspired me to the heights (... er depths) of Limerick-itis...

First "49er Goldfish", Slater,

Then Raidy, the "Raider's Cat", later.

. While I'm dipole dissing...

. Slater comes up missing,

And that's... sic transit radiator!

icon97.gifs> ...Oops, looks like cluless sent by one of her "Stop that!" Flompies. So, I must confess it was a fictionalized attempt to get an old radiator (Raidy-ate-her) to work in a new limerick... ergo "Sic Transit Gloria!" Mea culpa x 3. cwm36.gifcwm36.gifcwm36.gif -HornED

This message has been edited by HornEd on 06-18-2002 at 07:47 PM

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How vast is this acoustics science?

Where Nature demands our compliance!

cwm14.gif But the poster I dread

cwm3.gif Lets ad hype fill his head...

Until it's a half-vast appliance.

Some postings I have exhibited

May seem a bit too inhibited...

cwm34.gif For flamers raise my ire

cwm23.gif And I would douse their fire,

If I could "Void Where Prohibited!"

While sorting the lambs from the mutton,

Go easy on using Paul's button...

Smash.gif Whack facts on their noggin

Cool.gif 'til they're cool as Daz Hagen

And they "know" that they knew "nutton."

But, when all has been said and then done,

Take stock of that said under the gun...

Mad.gif Make nice to all you spurned

Rolleyes.gif And hope we have all learned

That hobbies are supposed to be fun!


This message has been edited by HornEd on 06-18-2002 at 06:44 PM

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Oops sorry

" And hope we have all learned

That hobbies are supposed to be fun!


What more can be said...

And in your final coda..

We all just hope to learn just an iota..

TTFN...still seeking shelter among the rocks and crevices...

This message has been edited by cluless on 06-18-2002 at 07:35 PM

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I moved to a new home in Euless,

They could just rename it to Useless,

When I crank up the Klipsch,

My neighbor's a *****,

I hope she has a big mess.

oh well.............lol


Turntable - Pro-Ject 2.0

Phono Preamp - Parasound PPH-100

Receiver - H/K AVR-210

DVD - Sony DVP-S360

TV - RCA 31"

Mains - KLF-20

Center - KLF-C7

Surrounds - Optimus Pro LX-10 (LOL, soon to be replaced)

Sub - Yamaha YST-SW160

Reinforcement - JBL 4638

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The Many Faces of Klipsch

"There's no speaker quite like a Horner"

Said the Conehead somewhat forlorner

...For he heard Mr. Paul

...Had hornswaggled them all

By folding his horns in the corner.

Thus, the fully-loaded horn purist,

Still Klipsch's most elegant jurist,

...Holds out for the Heritage

...As true Klipsch veritage

And tubular amps to be surest.

Ah, but Mr. Paul was not alone...

"Wife Approval Factor" became known,

...And the LaScala shell

...Was reborn as a Belle

As "WAF Approved" came into its own.

Hornless woofers the "WAF" demanded

So with Cornwalls he had expanded

...But Paul made his case

...To keep horns above bass

As the stuff of Legends was branded.

Then came ProLogic with rear fuzzy

And "THX" became word buzzy

...So side/surrounds were made

...and ambient sound sprayed

To bounce off the wall like some huzzy.

Mixers and fixers have newly found

That multiple tracks of full-range sound

...Preserve tone and timber

...While ambient-limber

Using ALL tracks to echo surround!

And since time and tide wait for no LAN

Klipsch marketed the heart of the clan,

...Geeks with Expedia

...Must have ProMedia

And, by Justin, I believe they can!

Yet, finally, in horn deference...

Arrives the Mod Seven Reference

...Audiophile exact

...with horn tweeter intact

A welcome popular preference!


This message has been edited by HornEd on 06-19-2002 at 08:51 AM

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I must admit HornEd has had his way

I could not best the lines he wrote today

Now every girl and guy will always say

That writing verse is not 3Bs forte

I mowed through Shakespeare when I was in school but I must confess ,and Bardon the expression, iambic pentameter always landscaped me. Thus missing my calling by a foot or is it a yard. No ! Make that 3 pints.



tHe wORLDs werst TYPesT>

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