Klipsch Noir-The Strange Case of Leo The K

[thebes]

Im Thebes, The HI-FI Detective. I work the alleys and dark

corners of a city called Hope.

Anyone whose ever worked the underbelly of the audio world

where people whisper of SET and tubes, mono and the arcane lore of linear,

triode and the other whispered mantras of audio nirvana have all heard of Leo

the K. Hes considered a legend, a fable, a god, a prophet or perhaps the devil

incarnate. Take your pick because hes

not talking.

Although none have ever seen him, cults have formed around

his legend. You can see them in almost

every city. Shambling wrecks wearing pocket protectors and waving slide rules

scrawling obtuse slogans on subway walls like Clean Power = Clarity Treat

Your Room Reduce Low Level Distortion.

I think its a load of crap. Im a HI-FI Detective, Ive been conked on the head, hit with a

sap and banged around too many times to fall for fables and rumors. Ive got a 3 LP a day habit and I need the

dough to feed it, no time for chasing chimeras.

That is until the Redhead showed up in my office.

The last rays of an orange-red sunset streaming through the

dirty window highlighted her hair and lent a softening glow to hard-edged

features. No Irish pug-nosed chirping

pixie, but a woman full grown. Hard and

angular, carved from ice, all angles and curves, oh yeah, curves. Thin eyebrows, aquiline nose, thin lips,

pointed pouters, trim waist all complemented by legs a Greek sculpture would

envy. Topped off by long thin hair of such

a transcendent red a painter would gladly lose an ear to replicate it on

canvas.

Our conversation went like this:

Whadda ya want

Leo, Leo the K

Get out of my office, no such animal, its a fable a

boogeyman created by guys who own 200 watt SS amps to scare their children

Hes my father

Do you think I just feel off the Bose truck, thats the

oldest line in the world, its never been true, and it never will be

Ive got $10,000 and an original pressing of Muddy Waters

first release

Im on it

What can I say, have I mentioned that I am an absolute

sucker for redheads?

So I hit the streets, I shake down a couple of cult-heads

but their crazy blood shot eyes and garbled mutterings tell me there is nothing

to find inside those rambling wrecks.

I spend a little canary money at Finis Bar but nobodys

talking. I drop in on Henry Watkins

House of Heavenly Delights, thinking everybody in Hope from the Mayor on down

has spent time there, but the girls no nothing. I chat up cops, mission workers

and bums on the street. I pass out

bribes, booze and tubes and come up empty.

I visit the Baptists, the Adventists and on a lark I swing by St.

Leos. I spend two hours staring at the

symbolism on the front of the Hope Masons Lodge No. 666 wearing out my hip

flask and ending up with a throbbing headache.

Then I thought of The Dean.

The Dean was part of the flotsam and jetsam thrown up by the 60s. They say hed uncovered something really

scary in a dark corner of the Love Generation, cleaned up his act eventually

and found a calling. Scratch the

surface though and he had a weakness, something I could exploit for the

information I needed.

He saw me coming and ran.

I tackled him and dragged him into an alley.

It didnt take long:

Tell me what you learned

I cant, I cant I dont want to ever go back to that again

Ive got what you want

I already have what I need

I know you want it

No I want nothing

Look at this its the master tape of Janis Joplins concert

at the Monterey Pop Festival

I hate you

Shut up and give

All right, all right Leonidas

Leonidas?

Thats all I can give, please dont make me say more

Leonidas, sounds like Greek to me so I head over the

Universitys library and head upstairs to the classical literature stacks

The gent manning the desk is rail thin, dressed in tweeds,

looks like a typical over-educated bookworm fuddy-duddy. That is until you look

into his four eyes. The first two

reflect the light from the depths of their jet-black stolid rims, turning the world

back in upon itself. The ones underneath

however crackle with energy and wisdom.

Closer examination reveals a thin mouth that hints at a sardonic wit and

a gentle amusement.

The rustling tumblers in my head click and instead of a

standard research query I say one word Leonidas. His demeanor instantly sharpens and he says:

Who sent you?

Nobody, Im here on my own

Shes a redhead

Who?

Quit playing games, its my daughter

Shes really your daughter

One of those family falling-outs, she like distortion, I

advocate clarity. Comes from her mothers

side a gold-plated ..tch who nearly wrecked my life when she fell in with the

SS crowd. Shed stop me if she could. Stay away from her; I sense there is hope

for you yet.

But shes a redhead

Yeah I know what you mean.

Pursue it if you must, but shell drain you dry and leave you an empty

husk sprawled out on a street corner caging quarters for Mad Dog 20/20.

Tell her you think Im teaching physics at RIT. Dont worry

shell pay you well for that much.

As I turn to leave he stops me and says Youre a lug and a

bum, but maybe not quite the loser you think you are. Some day high wattage wont make it for you, when that time comes

go to Little Italy in New York, stop into Leonardos Pizza say the word

Leonidas and Ill be in touch. Good

Luck young man

Well Im not saying he was right and Im not saying he was

wrong, but shes used me up and left and Ive acquired a taste for MadDog. Some of them you win and some of them you

lose when you are a HI-FI Detective on the mean streets of a city called Hope.

I usually build these little exercises in clichés around a

review of some equipment or music, but since coming here Ive enjoyed the

particular science and comradee, the gentle humor and the obvious knowledge that

LEOK. Brings to the Forum. Since I

have no other way of expressing my appreciation, Ive decided to immortalize

him in a piece of particularly bad writing.

For those of you with strong stomach, might I recommend the

following threads in the Thebes Cant Write Series:

Klipsch Noir The

Case of the Cross-eyed Crossover

Klipsch Noir The Case of the Singing Amp

Opie Goes to a Symphony

Shoutout at the Klispch Corral

Primer on The Twins

Soon to be compiled and edited by Paul Parrott Publishing

Company

[3dzapper]

Leonidas

[neo33]

Oh great! Another Harlequin piece...

[arfandbark]

Another nice one, Thebes....

I wanna see a pic of the inside of Fini's bar, however.

That must be the talk of Hope, Arkansas.

Not to generate anti-Fini speak, but did Klipsch ever make consoles available to the public or was it just Fini's high pressure "You will supply me consoles" speech that bent the Klipschters that way?

I'm thinking Fini should share the wealth.

I want the double Cornscala solid Bird's eye Maple end pieces with the corresponding interconnecting rock maple bar top if I may.....

Thank you very much in advance,

WOOF!

[Daddy Dee]

very good. looking forward to more.

Thanks, Thebes.

[Audio Flynn]

really neat

Leo is certainly worthy of the tribute!

[BillH2121]

Thebes - have you seen Sin City? I think you would enjoy the dialogue, if nothing else. Your latest offering is enjoyable as always.

[leok]

thebes,

YES! "Reduce Low Level Distortion"

Very enjoyable, and thank you.

Leo

[thebes]

Thanks guys I am to please (your aim will help.

Rick :Leonidas

Think Greek and do a google.

Or maybe think of Peaches and Herb's greatest hit "Leonidas", hmm may be" Reunited" oh well hum a few bars.

[3dzapper]

"Therell be no tea this afternoon. There has been a murder!

[thebes]

One last bump because it took me awhle to write this.

[nicholtl]

And worth every minute spent reading it, it was!

[customsteve01]

Great read, Thebes

Steve

[Deang]

Wow, missed this thread. Nice writing Marty! Get all of these together and you've got the makings of a cool little book for the forum.

I think about Leo every time I mod a pair of RF-7 networks. What a great little mod, and he taught me the greatest lesson I've ever learned with this stuff -- a little goes a long way. If it wasn't for Leo, I never would have picked up a soldering iron. This is important, because if you're sick and tired of reading about crossovers here on the forum -- you know who to blame!!

Thank you Leo.

[NOSValves]

Thebes my man..........everytime I read one these stories of yours (that mostly go over my head) I think to myself ............WTF is this guy doing painting houses.

Craig

[NOSValves]

If it wasn't for Leo, I never would have picked up a soldering iron.

Thank you Leo.

I'm hurt [;(] With out me you would of never gotten your first Zap LMAO

Oh and Dean fix your darn answering machine or answer the phone.