DETAILS....Let's go on a cruise.....

[dtel's wife]

Phil and Marvel,

I was in no way "dissing" the Smokies. If you read my second post you will see how much I love the area. In fact, I say, "there is no where I would rather be".

Yes, where we live is extremely hot and humid, but I would prefer to vacation in an area that isn't, This is the main reason we chose April 2008 for a second cruise. We really don't want to go on a cruise when the heat and humidity is unbearable.

The summer crowds and accompanying summer traffic in the Smokies add to the aggravation of the heat and humidity, IMO. However, in my second post I do go on to say that if I had never been before I would go in the summer.

Again, guys if you read my second post in this thread regarding the Smoky Mountain area it is obvious I LOVE this area. You are correct the heat and humidity of summer would not suck if I lived there, the other seasons of the year would more than compensate for the heat and humidity of summer.[]

[BigStewMan]

This is the main reason we chose April 2008 for a second cruise. We really don't want to go on a cruise when the heat and humidity is unbearable.

[]

Me too! I have Asthma and hot & humid is a horrible combination for me--I just have a very difficult time breathing in a climate like that. It is actually harder on me than the smog of Los Angeles. I'm very selective about what time of year I travel to certain areas. For instance, I just got back from Hawaii and wanted to make sure I went before summer. Next year, I hope to take another cruise from Ft. Lauderdale through the Panama Canal and ending in Los Angeles--i'm making that trip in february. i'll put up with other inconveniences to avoid hot & humid.

[mas]

{Edit: Perhaps I should attempt to explain this in advance (or in retrospect for those who have already read it and can't 'figger out' where this guy is coming from), as many are not
familiar with my dry wit... This is partly in response to all of the
concern about the Smokies and Tennessee being too humid. Now I realize, if you are
from the midwest or the southwest, you will notice a bit of a
change. You will sweat! But nowhere near what you will the further
south that you go. Its the price you pay for the grandeur. Bring shorts and t-shirts and show off those bleached white legs!

Now
the rest of the rambling perspective is meant for both those who have
been there or who lived in the region as well as for those considering
going. It is an 'anti-brochure', stated in a very sardonic dry wit,
with outrageous things said with a very straight face. But it is LOADED
with over the top exaggerations that are meant to elicit a grin, or an
'oh brother' smile in spite of yourself. It is a travel brochure that
makes fun of the tourists that cover the place like ants (who live in
air conditioned cars or walk on the sidewalks of Gatlinburg or the
malls of Pigeon Forge!) from May until the leaves fall, and then the
place is deserted until the next go round.

So if this doesn't
scare you, it is simply meant as a serious but VERY tongue in cheek
take on a few of the options that you might consider doing. It is not
the way the tourist brochures will tell you to do it. It is basically
an "avoid the tourist traps, and get out of your cars and actually
experience the Park and surrounding areas and enjoy some of the truly
amazing amenities offered by the region" with a VERY large dose of dry
humor directed at and about tourists. And as any person form the area
might tell you, it is not a place for rambunctious hustle and bustle (unless
you become addicted to mountain biking or the glorious whitewater
canoing and kayaking -with a 'built in' way to stay cool- in the
region!). It is much more of a 'kick off your shoes and sit a spell"
type of magic. But you will miss it if the entire trip is spent driving
about in the car looking out the windows afraid to leave the air
conditioning. And unfortunately, millions each year do exactly that!

So,
the point is, don't let the 'humidity nay sayers' discourage you! But I
hope I will discourage you from seeing it 'from through the car
winders'! To paraphrase the saying: A bad day in the Smokies is better
than a good day just about anywhere else! }

--------------------

Having spent FAR too much time in the Smokies and all of the surrounding areas (be quiet Coytee!), here is a slightly ascorbic alternative take on visiting the Smokies in the summer.

Tennessee is hot and humid in the summer. But if you have lived in the south, its gets much worse the further south you go. Here's news. You are in the mid south. It gets hot down here. And you are also in the mountains with lots of shade, but it gets more humid the closer you get to the ocean. There is something slightly ironic about anyone who has lived in the SE getting upset with humidity. You just get used to feeling like you were packed in oil like tuna fish. Well, at least you try!

And as far as the traffic. Yup, there is plenty of automobile traffic. And that sucks. But there is a reason. And a degree in philosophy helps. It doesn't make it any easier to understand, but it does make the irony easier to appreciate and at least you get a laugh as you are stuck in the traffic cussing all of the #%@$& tourists.

You see, folks go to the Smokies to 'get away', to 'commune with nature', for 'spiritual refreshment',... OK, I need to stop as my stomach is starting to feel a bit, well, not quite right...

You see, many drive to the area and stay primarily in Gatlinburg. And then they drive to Pigeon Forge to see the authentic Smoky Mountain hill culture outlet malls featuring all of the cheap goods made overseas. Heck, I remember it when Pigeon Forge was nothing but a huge main drag, several gas stations, a Red Barn and a water slide; with the largest free standing light posts running down the median of any city in the universe. Oh, and we had to be sure to get beer before we (I mean 'they') hit Pigeon Forge as it was dry! But at least you got to see all of the plate (as in dishes) and quilt stands that were littered along Hwy 411 between Sevierville and Knoxville. But enough of the ambiance.

There are lots of cars...The tourists drive to Gatlinburg in their air conditioned cars, and then they run to their air conditioned hotel room, and the they run back to their air conditioned cars and jump in, oops!, the air conditioning hasn't yet cooled the very efficient solar collector (and to think that we still haven't gotten solar energy down! Go figure!), then they drive to Clingman's Dome or to Cade's Cove, stop somewhere for 5 minutes as everyone complains that its too hot and they jump back into the air conditioned car and drive back to the air conditioned hotel and jump into the pool (as they failed to bring inner tubes or PFDs to go tubing and swimming in the ice cold Little Pigeon River swimmin' hole at the intersection of the Cade's Cove Road and Schoolhouse Gap Road heading to Townshend near Tremont.

And while this may be repeated several times, this constitutes a typical visit to the Smokies, oh, and the required evening trolling of Gatlinburg to buy taffy and to get a henna tattoo.

And then they return home and tell everyone how they went to the Smokies and saw the mountains. They fail to tell their friends that they never really got near them.

The irony is that while the park is the most visited park in the US, if you actually get out of your car and go anywhere but the Chimneys, you won't see anyone. Because for all of the visitors who are there to, let me see if I remember this correctly: 'get away', to 'commune with nature', achieve 'spiritual refreshment', the real source of this 'spiritual refreshment' is evidently air conditioning and the hotel pool. Oh yeah, and outlet malls.

And that is perhaps the best kept secret of the park. Those from the area know that you can go just about anytime of the year and be completely on your own if you just get off the road and more than 200 yards from an air conditioned car. And then it is perhaps the least visited park in the US. And the camping and hiking are great in the entire region, not just in the Park!

But, even if you are looking for a place to go where you can enjoy air conditioning, here are a few suggestions. Instead of staying in a hotel off the main drag in Gatlinburg just because its within 100 yards of the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, consider renting a log cabin in the hills surrounding the town. There are thousands of them. And they cost about the same as for a tiny hotel. Now the downside is that after you make the obligatory automobile pilgrimage to Clingman's Dome and circle around Cade's Cove ( danger!!! Tangent alert! ...and missing the Rich Mountain Tower Road turnoff to the right about a 1/4 of the way around Cade's Cove - which is a real treat - just take it and get lost. With luck you will come out near Townshend - oh, and does anyone remember the band Rich Mountain Tower or Mac Gayden or Area Code 615 or Barefoot Jerry? ALL of AC615 and BJ's records are for sale direct from Wayne Moss at the BJ website!), most of you will never leave the cabin. You will actually be in the hills and you will not want to leave. And except for the occasional neighbor, you won't see any traffic!

Now, I will make the assertion that its truly hard to beat the spring and fall in Tennessee. In the spring you have the evergreen Rhododendron (Mountain Laural), dogwoods and pink buds in bloom; and in the fall you have the leaves. And in both you have wonderfully cool evenings.

And if you are really adventurous and have planned a year in advance to actually book a reservation in the fall (yup, start thinking about 2008 NOW!!!), you might even combine it with a UT football game and marvel at the pre-game festivities (although how can anyone really enjoy them as much now that Sam and Andy's deli and the Roman Room are no more[:|][][] ). And then you can buy a ticket - don't worry about having one in advance, as they are around on the street, and then go and marvel at the crowd of over 100K stuck in the country's largest collegiate stadium that has been consistently sold out for EVERY home game since 1969. Oh, as far as the game, be prepared. If UT is a huge underdog, bet on them. But as usual, they will be a favorite, and in this case do NOT bet on them and fully anticipate their losing...usually in the last 20 seconds after the futz some trick play when all they had to do was to let the clock run out. Think I'm kidding? Does anyone remember the 'fake field goal' against Georgia in the 1973 homecoming game... It has happened this way for almost 40 years, and except for a rare occasion, it is one of the rare constants in the universe.

But its really all about the spectacle, isn't it? After all, where else will you see folks dressed head to toe in orange and white UT booster blazers, orange and white saddle shoes, and giant orange foam cowboy hats? Oh, and don't plan on going anywhere for 3 or so hours after the game. You won't.

Oh, and gee, I should have mentioned, since you will be driving into Knoxville, you might want to arrive EARLY on game day, and I mean really EARLY. As many of the students will have gone to the Smokies as the tourists will be in town (hey, they're not idiots!), and the remaining students will have astutely all parked on the street the night before, leaving their apartment or house parking available to sell to tourists in order to finance the weekend's keg party. And parking will be the most difficult commodity to find in town. But at least the beer will be available EVERYWHERE!

Have I scared you away yet? The area is a bit crazy, but its also one of the most wonderful places in the country, especially if you decide to venture into the surrounding areas and to discover the incredible biking, camping, hiking and phenomenal whitewater canoing and kayaking. Plus there are other lakes and rivers galore for fishing, boating swimming,or just about whatever you like.

Just don't worry TOO much if you see one or two of the "So if it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them" bumper stickers. Most of the locals are just joshin' ya.

Enjoy!!! (But how does one explain who Cas Walker was to the kids and the tourists!?!?!?!?!) And don't forget to See Rock City!

[mas]

Whoa! This has gotten completely out of hand!

People will live in Houston or New Orleans (where you mildew in the airport waiting for a transfer) or will go to Florida and Fort Lauderdale or the Caribbean and then complain about the humidity in Tennessee!?!?!?!

ROFLMAO!

I hear that there is occasionally snow in Tennessee too! So I won't go there! ... I'm staying in Buffalo or Minnesota by golly!!

Where is Dr Phil when we need him!?!?!?! Oh, that's right...well, send him on over when he finishes with Meagain and the VRDs.

[Gilbert]

Whoa! This has gotten completely out of hand!

People will live in Houston or New Orleans (where you mildew in the airport waiting for a transfer) or will go to Florida and Fort Lauderdale or the Caribbean and then complain about the humidity in Tennessee!?!?!?!

Exactly what I was thinking.

[dtel's wife]

I guess it is a little "out of hand" to folks that don't realize dtel and I have a landscaping company and work outdoors in south Louisiana and Mississippi year round. Yes the heat and humidity are horrendous down here.

Thus we choose to vacation in our favorite areas when the temps are a little cooler and the humidity isn't quite so high. When vacationing we try to get a break from the heat and humidity. I thought most folks planned vacations to visit places that are different from their everyday environment. Maybe we are the oddity.[:|]

The vacations to the Carribean and Tennessee take into account the heat and humidity. That is the main reason we enjoy the Smokies most in the fall and winter and we vacationed in the Carribean in December and plan to go again in April.

As far as Rich Mountain Road. We took that little trip and dtel managed to scare the heck out of our three daughters who were in their teens at the time. We didn't get lost and did end up in Townsend. The back roads in Cattalooche are just as treacherous as Rich Mountain Road, if not a little more isolated.

We usually do not arrange accomodations in the "tourist trap" areas. Generally we rent a cabin, usually in the Stecoah Valley area and try to avoid the crowds and traffic as much as possible. We haven't tried whitewater rafting yet, would like to go soon, preferrably in the Natahala Gorge or Ocoee.

Although in the winter months the hotel/motel rooms are very inexpensive on weekdays, with very few "visitors" in the area. Rooms, with all the amenities can be reserved for as low as $19.95 a night. We have taken advantage of those offers and a couple of times the "room" was actually a suite which included a fireplace and a jacuzzi.

Never hiked to the "Chimneys" but did hike to several waterfalls in TN and WV, all worth the effort.

Geez, this thread was to invite folks to go on a cruise, but discussing the Smokies is okay by me. Happy vacationing.

[just_like_dtel]

Uh yea mom..that little "trip" on that winding road was more than just "scaring the heck out of your three teenage daughters". TRY AGAIN! More like, we really didn't think our HUGE LINCOLN TOWNCAR would make it down that THREE FOOT WIDE ROAD that you two decided to venture out on "to see where it takes us".

Let's also not forget the trip made more recently when Allie (not quite a year old at that time) decided to serenade us through our HIKE to that cabin!!!!! She was certainly in touch with nature on that journey!

[dtel's wife]

Here are a few more details on the cruise.

Rate per person, includes all port charges and taxes, $596.00 per person.

$25.00 per person deposit due by May 30th, $225.00 per person due by November 15, balance due by February 2, 2008

At this time we have a block of twenty rooms reserved, we can increase the number of room as necessary. All other details remain the same.

If you are interested make a post and let me know and I will email you with the travel agent's name and contact info.

[just_like_dtel]

Mom:

Last night was very hectic. Took me until 1am to finish all of those online tests!!!

[|-)][:S][8o|]

Give me a call when you get a chance, cruise is a possibility...need to talk to you!

[just_like_dtel]

Other than the obvious (a cruise and the Smokies) anyone got other ideas for a FAMILY vacation??? Disney World is the other "popular" suggestions but our girls aren't quite ready for that yet! They're too little!

[Amy]

Actually, one of the best summer vacations I ever had was Niagara Falls (Canada side). The weather was stunning--it was mid July but felt like early May Indiana-weather, and there was surprisingly a lot to do for children. The crowds were very managable...not to mention it was breathtakingly gorgeous. How little are the girls?

[just_like_dtel]

My oldest, Allie, is 5 (almost 6--in July). Then there's the baby, Rylee, who is 11 months (turns 1 on June 5). I bet that would be nice!

[PhilMays]

Was this a 2008 cruise? We just booked a 6 day with Carnival (chose Carnival due to taking a 6 and 8 year old) for 7/15/07 for the western swing.

I guess you guys are not going then? If not, why not?

[dtel's wife]

Phil,

This cruise is April 27, 2008, leaving from Galveston, aboard the Conquest.

Carnival is great for kids and adults. Our trip in l2/06 was wonderful for adults, and the children had a blast with Camp Carnival.

All the dtel gang plus some others are booked already. Haven't heard anything definite from any other forum members, but the $25.00 per person double occupancy deposit is good until May 30, 2007, with l/2 balance due 11/15/07 and 1/2 balance due 2/2/08. Deposits will be $250.00 per person after 5/30/07.

We currently have about 12 rooms booked.

BTW, most if not all Carnival Cruise Ships have a "topless" sun deck.

I was sure hoping to hear from more folks on the Forum about joining us.

BTW, thanks for the bump, saved me the trouble of reminding everyone of the $25.00 deposit cutoff.

[PhilMays]

TOPLESS!!!!! I can't wait. Too early for us to book April of 2008....sounds like fun. I've never cruised Carnival. We have typically stuck with Holland America and Royal Caribean. I will have to say, now that my wife isn't looking over my shoulder, the Carnival croud looks to be more lively (translation....fun)

[dtel's wife]

I have spoken to a couple of people who cruised both of the lines you mention, as well as Carnival. They seemed to think the other two were a little more "stuffed shirt", while Carnival was very friendly and easy going.

We have only cruised with Carnival thus far, but I see no reason to shop around for other lines, because we were very pleased with Carnival.

[PhilMays]

Yea, I've heard that as well. If it is the wife and me, that's what I want. If it's the entire family, well, let's have some fun!

7 people in the family will be going and it's so funny how we have planned the entire trip around the kids. Secretly, I'm going to gamble them away...

[dtel's wife]

Phil,

Carnival has several opportunities to "dress up and play stuffed shirt", but Carnival is not just "stuffed shirt".

Don't worry, you don't have to gamble them away. Camp Carnival is THE BEST thing since ice cream. Nine of us in the family went in December 2006 after the triple wedding. Buddy, our six year old grandson LOVED Camp Carnival, they do Build a Bear, pizza parties, scavenger hunts and on and on.

As of now we have sixteen family members going and three other couples.

Camp Carnival for kids is great. Buddy took a shore excursion with us one day then decided he wanted to go to Camp Carnival for the next "on shore day". Camp Carnival provides you with a beeper, in the event the child wants to leave Camp Carnival and join the family, or in case of an emergency. Camp Carnival is also open until 3:00 a.m. which is great for adults that want to enjoy the night life aboard ship.

BTW, the topless deck is usually empty at night.[] Dtel and I were the only ones up there at night.

Dtel and I are looking forward to spending time with the family, but we are also looking forward to the "alone" time.

If you guys enjoy the cruise and want to join us in April 2008 let us know. You can book anytime you want, the $25.00 per person double occupancy is part of our "Group Rate" offer and is good until May 30, 2007. However, you can book anytime you want.

Email me and I can give you the details, as well as the group name so you can book at the $25.00 deposit per person.

I know why Carnival calls their ships "FUN SHIPS".[<)][*][D][8][ip]

[PhilMays]

Thanks for the info on Camp Carnival. This was one of the big selling points for us. The kids LOVE build a bear! We booked them on two excursions. One is playing with the Dolophins and the other is a sub ride...It would be ironic if they wanted to stay in camp all day!

Thanks for the invite in April...we very well may do it!

Phil