OT. My Take on How Golf Got Started

[thebes]

Got a 40th anniversary high school reunion coming up and I wrote this little story for a website set up for the event. I thought it turned out ok so I'd figured I'd share it with my Klipsch buddies and perhaps pass along a chuckle or two. Of course, it probably really sucks but since I'm a legend in my own mind, well you get the drift.

*****************

Jim Savage Takes A Pounding

If I recall correctly the incident took place on a nice
early Spring day probably in our senior year.
Home room classes, at least among the males, were divided into four
groups A,B, C and D, A being the smartenheimers, D being those destined for the
draft. I started school in A but was
transferred out along the way and ended up in C or D. I mention this because in the main, we did our course work and
period changes by homeroom class.

Thus our group was found together in something called Gym
Class. Now this place was a foreboding
and confusing place for me. It
contained a locker room which stank of BO, soiled, sweaty clothing and
something called Atomic Balm. There was
also a large hall-like place covered in a wooden floor. I do believe this was
called The Gym. Various machines, ropes, and contraptions of indeterminate
function were scattered around the floor.

I was seldom in attendance finding little attraction in the
proffered course-work which seemed to consist of standing around, running,
climbing bouncing and falling off of things with names like horse, parallel
bars etc. One skinned knee was enough to sour me on the whole experience.

On this particular day however, I had been apprehended in
the act of ducking out by some over-muscled individual called a Coach. He must have been mad at me for some reason
because instead of being allowed to take my leisure I was forced into a
seemingly endless series of physical perambulations that left me giddy with
fatigue. At long last we were dismissed and consigned to the locker room.

After showering and dressing quite smartly in a clean white
dress shirt, 1930s paisley tie, nicely set of by pegged gray pants and black
oxford shoes, I was heading to the exit when I was roughly shouldered aside by
my classmate, Jim Savage.

Jim and I were not only in the same classroom but we were
members of the same group of fellow travelers known by the deliciously ironic
name of The Clique. He was a freckled faced son of the sod with a outgoing
personality and a devilish smile that always reminded me of the look of a young
boy with a frog in his pocket. Id like
to say that I was the opposite, a picture of urbanity with the body of a
Grecian idol, but the contrary was true.
We were both skinny marinks, tall and gangly and carrying so little
weight, a strong breeze would find us in the next country.

Despite all these commonalities, there had been ongoing
friction between us, sadly the origins and causes of this enmity lost to the mists
of fading memory. What is clear in my
memory, though, is that in moments we were at each other in a blazing flurry of
flying fists. Within seconds it seemed
like literally hundreds of blows had been given and received. To my horror I had found that those freckles
hid a serious case of teenage acne and his face was soon a bleeding mass of
blood and slimy pustules. However I
pressed on. I was just about to finish
him off with my patented Deathmaker Super Duper Roundhouse when a Coach got
between us and ended the impromptu match.

Things remained tense between us for some time. Soon, having
graduated wed only see each other on various occasions in the summer and
holidays. I tried, successfully I
thought, to make it up to him, by deliberately losing to him while playing
pinball and other more arcane barroom games.

Long after we were no longer in contact, others told me he
had taken to walking through grassy fields hitting a small ball with a
stick. I felt remorseful thinking I had
driven him to some sort of
dementia. A psychiatrist friend,
though, eased my guilt by telling me that this was a common outgrowth of
childhood trauma. society had dealt
with it by setting aside vast stretches of both public and private fields and
even mowed the grassy fields into something called fairways. Now millions of American men can learn to
cope with their handicap and become functioning members of society.

Im not sure its really worked though. These guys always seem to be chasing after
some guy called Par. He must have been
one very busy schoolyard bully.

[Klipsched with Yamahas]

As Bagger V would say: Golf is a game that cannot be owned, only played

(paraphrased)

How absurd, grown men chasing around little white balls for hours on end, and stretching thousands of yards, only to be befuddled when one can't get the ball into a little round hole.

What a simple game (in theory and maybe HELL)

"We were both skinny marinks, tall and gangly and carrying so little weight, a strong breeze would find us in the next country."

Now Thebes, somehow the rug doesn't match the drapes[][]

[djk]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGwsNEPie_8

[Daddy Dee]

Thebes,

great story.

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball.

I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

--Hank Aaron

[Arky]

Hardest game in the world.

Thebes, you sir have a true writing gift.[Y]

[jheis]

I believe it was Mark Twain who described golf as "a good walk spoiled."

James

[Buckeye_Nut]

I for one.... Love the game of golf!!!! [H]

I didnt take up the game until I was in my mid20s (1992), I bought my first golf membership in 1996.... and I've been logging more than 100+ rounds a year ever since....LOL

When the days are long in the summer months, it's not unusual for me to play 4-5 times a week. (even if only to log a quick10-15 holes or however many I can squeeze in before dark)

[Arky]

I for one.... Love the game of golf!!!! [H]

Yeah me too, started at age 4. Play everyday May thru Sept. Well, might miss 2 or 3 days.

[Tarheel]

Darn Arky....don't you work for a living?

Gonna be kinda quiet around here this weekend with everyone at the pilgrimage.

Lot of yardwork tommorow.....93 degrees. May not have to use charcoal on the grill...just keep the black top closed in the sun.

Thebes....we must be the same age. Should be my 40 year reunion but have'nt heard a word about plans. 650 in my class.

[Buckeye_Nut]

I for one.... Love the game of golf!!!! [H]

Yeah me too, started at age 4. Play everyday May thru Sept. Well, might miss 2 or 3 days.

My record is 21 days in a row. Of course...that was before I had kids...HEH

Had it not been for rain...the streak would no doubt have been longer.

[Arky]

Darn Arky....don't you work for a living?

Gonna be kinda quiet around here this weekend with everyone at the pilgrimage.

Lot of yardwork tommorow.....93 degrees. May not have to use charcoal on the grill...just keep the black top closed in the sun.

Thebes....we must be the same age. Should be my 40 year reunion but have'nt heard a word about plans. 650 in my class.

We have a group of 5 to 8 that play at 5:30 after work. It's just a gambling game. We count holes won, not strokes. Luckily i'm better than they are.