Rdmarsiii Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Hey all, Im sorry, but I just need to vent. My mom has had this disease called hemocromatosis, and has had it for a few years. It is where you have too much iron in your blood. Now it is to the point to where she needs a liver transplant. She has been in the hospital for almost half of the past four years, and owes over $120,000 in hospitol bills. Her husband (my stepdad) operates a carlot (his brothers) and has recently been shut down. The state came and shut them down and took all the cars. To his surprise, his brother has been on the run from the police. He also found out that his brother did not have a dealers license. So now they have no way to make money. If he gets a job, then my mom looses her government funding, which pays for $3000 of medicine a month. I found out last night that my mom has been throwing up blood, and a doctor cannot see her any time soon. She did go in for a MRI today, but that was for something else she will not tell me. Its just one thing after another. I dunno what to tell them to do. I am not asking for money. Does anyone have any suggestions on what they should do? Thanks for listening, David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skonopa Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Now that is f'ed up! To be honost, I really don't know what to say. Obviously, your father does have to make a living somehow. Anyway, regardless of the money issues, the most important thing is the well-being of your mother. The only other thing I can offer at this point are my prayers and blessings. I can only begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you. Sounds like you are still young (teenager?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdmarsiii Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 Yeah, Im 15. I just feels like theyre all relying on me. Please pray for them. Im sure that will help. I really dont want her to go, but I know if she does, she'll be safe with the Man up stairs. Plus, she wont be in any pain anymore. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deang Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Your mom must have had Hemochromatosis for several years before diagnosis, since the treatment for it is relatively straight-forward. Typically, removing a pint of blood or two a week keeps it under control. Catching it late means potential other problems, including cirrhosis and an increased chance of liver cancer. In other words, she may have had permenant liver damage by the time they caught it -- and the damage and increased chance of live cancer stays the same -- even if the iron stores are brought under control. I find it odd that she didn't go to the ER when she started vomiting blood -- it's not exactly something you make "an appointment" for. The fact that she won't tell you what the MRI was for doesn't give me warm fuzzies either. I say you need to confront your mom and tell her you need to know what's going on. It's impacting your emotional and mental health, and since she's your mother -- she has a responsibility to be on the level with you. You may only be 15 -- but you're old enough to deal with the truth. Tell her you love her and want to know what gives. You can't "help" if you don't know what she needs from you -- and shutting you out is the worst thing for her right now. As far as the problem with your Step-dad goes -- the problem is bigger than a 15 year old should have to worry about. I don't know what to tell you here on this one. Let the "adult" deal with the adult problem -- and you just concentrate on being there for your mom. How's that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdmarsiii Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 That sounds good. They would have gone to the ER if they had something to drive, but the state took all the cars away, so there is nothing there. Of course she could have gotten an ambulance, but she hates going to the hospitol. A bit stubborn if you ask me. Hemocromatosis is hereditary. Her parents didnt have it, but she is sure her grand parents did, so it skips generations meaning my kids will have it... Maybe well catch it early. But with her, she didnt know she had it until she passed out one night and went to the ER. She did do the blood letting or how ever you spell it. Her blood was so thick that it wouldnt come out. I havent seen her in over two months. And her dad could help, but hes a greedy old man with a half a million dollars in the stock market. He didnt like sending $50 so she could get a printer. I think Im gonna go to bed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3dzapper Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 David, I feel for you I really do. Your mother needs you right now, be there for her. She will yell and b!t@h but that is normal, she needs you. I put my daughter through a similiar situation when she was a teenager. I wouldn't let her come into the ICU and see me hooked up to all kinds of tubes and devices and for that to be the last memory she had of me, if I didn't pull through. I think your mother is trying to shield you in a similiar fashion. For me that was 22 years ago. May your mother be with you for another 70. Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdmarsiii Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 Thanks. She does love Klipsch. I gave her a pair of Promedia 2.1s, and she thinks theyre better than her old bose. Thanks again yall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Blacksmith Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 I know it is hard to not take on the burden of this yourself, but you had nothing to do with what is happening and you should let the adults take care of what needs to be done. Be there for your mother all you can. We all have different roads in this life, some are freeways and some are dirt track and some are somewhere in the middle but they all end at the same place. To prepare for the afterlife is the best thing you can do while you are here. I will pray for you and for your parents. May you find peace in these rough waters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRBILL Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Dave, I can't add a thing to what DeanG wrote. I couldn't have said it that well with that brevity. Those of us who are in the "helping professions" deal with these sorts of things every day. There is a whole branch of theology called THEODICY which essentially asks the question,"Why do bad things happen to good people?" Or, more simply, "If God is Omnipotent, pure goodness, how can there be evil and suffering?" This is a murky area which we try to hide from public view. WE are, after all, the "Answer People?" If theodicy has no other purpose, it has done its job well in keeping theologians humble. The Black community, so accustomed to pain, turmoil and humiliation, has a wonderful saying: "Look over and see Jesus!" So simple, yet so effective. An ancient priest on his deathbed once said to me, "Bill, the best evidence that I have for the life to come is the insoluble mess that we have made of our present life!" Go for optimism. Say your prayers. Tell God how angry you are at Him. He is a big guy. He can take it. It is a starting place. There are a lot of us that are here for you. You know how to be in touch. Father Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheltie dave Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Dave, we don't have the answers to all of life's struggles - and you will have some all your life. What you can do as a teenager, besides listening to the good advice you have been given, is to live your life and treat others well. Try to develop an honorable code of ethics that will leave room for others to help you, and for you to help others. Don't be shy to ask for help, as you have here. It helps to talk to others about some of the messes that involve you. We know what is right and good, sometimes we just have to be reminded that we need to see such clearly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.4knee Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Dave, First you and your family have my prayers a thoughts to you. What you are going through is tough no doubt about it. Something I try to remember and often forget is that when times are at there worst and you think God has abandoned you, he hasn't, often then he is carrying you. Its the one set of footprints in the sand thing. While I cannot tell you what to do or how to feel, you unfortunately earn those stripes on your own, I can say this there is always an ear here if you feel you need it. Your mother needs you to be there for her and that is a tough job but you seem to be a pretty sharp and caring young man. Give her all the love you can and if you need to let some steam off you know where to do it. God Bless. R/Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdmarsiii Posted May 11, 2004 Author Share Posted May 11, 2004 Thanks you guys. Im gonna try and get her to go to the ER or at least call a doctor to see whats wrong. My guess is that it may be an ulcer or something. Im glad I have yall to talk to. I just hope shes gonna be ok. Thanks for all the prayers. David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmikid Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 That's all very tough. I wish you strength! Don't forget, all you can do is your best. Seems like you're doing that righ now. Thanks for sharing. Tim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Rdmarsiii I don't know what I can add to this thread other than I hope your mother pulls through ok. Hope that everything turns out well for your father as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicholtl Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 She's in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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