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sputnik

What does it take to be a "man"?

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I've been out over most of the holidays and was very sorry to return

and hear the sad news posted by Marvel and Woodog. I was also

sorry to read of the withdrawals (hopefully only temporary) of Michael

Colter and Michael Hurd from the forum. There have been many

other losses and setbacks suffered by forum members lately. I hope that

all can find peace with the sadness and challenges that they face.

I have come to truly respect the collective wisdom here. The

audio knowledge is a trivial part of what I have gained by

participating in this forum. I am most grateful to those that

extend their life experiences here. In consideration of those of

us that may need a renewed perspective this year, I would like to ask the question:

What does it take to be a "man"?

I've had some interesting conversations with friends recently about

this. We started off just joking about what skills a "man" should

possess. Here are some examples (please share your ideas):

A "man" should be able to ......

fix a car, weld, perform first aid, cook at least one gourmet dish,

train a dog, teach a kid to throw a spiral and a curve ball, pick out a

good wine, pleasure a woman, tell a bedtime story, care for the frail

and elderly, catch a fish, handle a gun safely, repair leaky plumbing,

build something, demolish something, change a diaper, protect a life, face death, etc.

Going beyond the simple list though, what is it that really

distinguishes "men" from "boys"? There is a line from a Judy

Collins song that always makes me think about this:

"that's me at the wedding, that's me at the grave

dressed like the people who once looked so grown-up and brave".

When do we grow up? Do we ever really "grow up"? How do we

know? Does it help us face life's challenges?

I know that many would point to religion and faith for the answers but

let's share that elsewhere to avoid the common arguments and topic

closure. I certainly do not mean to reject the importance

person's personal faith by any means, I just hope we can avoid

religious arguments here.

I can't offer any answers about growing up but beyond just simple skills, I think that a "man" should possess

courage, integrity, humility, humor, and compassion. I've known

several

men who have had these characteristics. I think that there are

also some "men" right here in this forum. The only well-known

(non-religious) example

of a "man" that I can name is a fictional character - Atticus Finch in

"To Kill a Mockingbird" (particularly, as portrayed by Gregory Peck).

I would really like to hear

some opinions on this and maybe someone who needs it will be comforted

or helped.

post-17394-13819278772832_thumb.jpg

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You ....

think too much ...........[:)]

[:)] Thanks Duke. I don't mean to get too philosophical, but the run of bad news lately from friends of mine and here in the forum just got me to thinking about how good people face demons, sadness, and loss. I just want to tap into the collective wisdom here. What do you think?

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I have a multiple choice test to answer the question.

OK, a UFO lands in your yard. The occupant of the ship gives you a breadbox sized device which he says will end war, famine and disease on planet Earth.

What do you do with it?

A. Give it to the President of the United States

B. Give it to the Secretary General of the United Nations

C. Take it apart.

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Well, I know that I wouldn't pay for the shipping costs.

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IMHO it is not the ability to fix a car, perform first aid or any of those other things alone that make a man. I also believe that we never really

"grow up", as our lives are constantly changing. It is in fact life's challenges that force us to take those steps towards what some would call "maturity". I believe men should possess courage, integrity, humility, humor and compassion. After reading this forum for almost a year now I would agree that there are numerous "men" on this forum. In another post I made a comment about "men showing their softer side"... Some examples of that would be Marvel, Josh and Woodog's posts regarding the losses they have sufferered recently, as well as Michael and Michael being able to share their issues in a public forum.

It is all the attributes you mentioned, plus giving of themselves unselfishly, like Marvel caring for Barbara when she was ill and Woodog spending time with Kim, even when she had caused him so much grief and pain.

Of course, this is one woman's perspective...that being said I have to say I am very blessed to have a wonderful husband, who is still quite the child, but all I could hope for in a man. Elden, thank you for loving me in times when I couldn't love myself and for giving me, our daughters, our grandchildren and our family as a whole "rope to hold onto during the storm".

I hope that the men on this forum will read your post and take the time to voice their opinions.

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D. Put it on eBay.

Bob

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E.) Give it to Al, Bob and Dean and they will figure out and improve the electronics for this thing, than put it on ebay[;)]

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D. Put it on eBay. Bob

Bob,

That is an excellent addition to the test.

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F.) its probly a bomb or plague in a jar and I wouldnt trust anyone with it. bury it

dude the only aliens I trust are the ones in cacoon or cacoon II

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The "cute" answers (including mine) to Daddy Dee's question may be more

revealing than we'd like to think. I'd like to change my response

to "C" - take it apart, then distribute the individual parts among

nations that claim to want to end war, famine, and disease so that the

effort and cooperation of all is required to reassemble the

device. If we can't do that, we don't deserve the

device. If we can do that, we won't need the device.

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I've been out over most of the holidays and was very sorry to return

and hear the sad news posted by Marvel and Woodog. I was also

sorry to read of the withdrawals (hopefully only temporary) of Michael

Colter and Michael Hurd from the forum. There have been many

other losses and setbacks suffered by forum members lately. I hope that

all can find peace with the sadness and challenges that they face.

I have come to truly respect the collective wisdom here. The

audio knowledge is a trivial part of what I have gained by

participating in this forum. I am most grateful to those that

extend their life experiences here.

Well spoken Mssr. Spud. I keenly miss the joy and gentle humor

offered up by Lynn, and I will miss the "I got a frog in my pocket"

puckishness of Michael Colter and the intelligent, thoughtful and

helpful discourse of Michael Hurd.

As much as I may think myself a man, my youthfull braddigio of maleness

has long since departed and I try as hard as I can to be considerd

simply as a person. There is nothing in the aspect of a man that

you will not find in a woman and sophomoric humor aside (my speciality)

we stand tall in our own personal regard only in relationship to those

around us. Human are a selfish lot, individually. If left only to

ourselves we would be a lazy, shiftless immoral slugs indeed. We

only shine in how we deal with and help each other, we only excel with

help from others, we only learn because someone taught us to

listen. We can gut it out because someone showed us the way,

self-pity is drowned when we look outward and around us. I could

go on but I think you can take the point.

I do believe there is some sort of indomitable human will and spirit,

certainly any casual reading of history or even the basest

understanding of ourselves would bear this out. We are the sum of

our parts and so much more.

Of course that's easy for me to say, the concert piano playing,

six-gun, shooting, yip-i-key-o, bonvivant, nuclear physicist, devlishly

handsome philospher. (sorry about the tortured adjectives my publicist

is still on holiday)

Besides The Twins won't let me tell you what really makes me a Man.

spell it out: M. A. N. (a certain blues song may come to mind)

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Oh yeah: D. Put it on Ebay.

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A "person" should be able to ......

perform basic car maintenace, perform first aid, cook at least one gourmet dish and a whole lot of comfort food, train a dog/cat/goldfish, teach a kid to throw a spiral, a solid punch and give a major hug,

pick out a whiner and avoid them at al costs, pleasure the person they love, tell a bedtime story to anyone they love young or old, care for the frail and elderly, catch a fish -grocery catches count-, handle a gun safely-even if it's only long enough to get rid of it, repair leaky plumbing, build/create something, demolish something(fun fun fun), change a diaper, protect a life, face death, etc.

Actually, the greatest give we can give those that we love is.... a shoulder

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A "person" should be able to ......

perform

basic car maintenace, perform first aid, cook at least one gourmet

dish and a whole lot of comfort food, train a dog/cat/goldfish, teach a

kid to throw a spiral, a solid punch and give a major hug,

pick

out a whiner and avoid them at al costs, pleasure the person they love,

tell a bedtime story to anyone they love young or old, care for the

frail and elderly, catch a fish -grocery catches count-, handle a gun

safely-even if it's only long enough to get rid of it, repair leaky

plumbing, build/create something, demolish something(fun fun fun),

change a diaper, protect a life, face death, etc.

I hope that you don't think I was being sexist using the term

"man". This was only a partial list of "manly arts" that we

started as a joke on an extended backcountry ski tour last week.

After going through alot of the funny stuff, some pretty insightful

observations about being a "man" emerged from men and women. I

would like to hear more from a woman's perspective.

Added: Along with preparing at least one gourmet dish, a "man" should also wash it when he's done.

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Hmm, I can't remember the whole list of qualifying attributes, but I

can pleasure a woman, and wash it when I'm done. Probably some of

the in-between stuff, too.

F.) Re-cap it.

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Oooooh, got me [:$]. I meant wash the dish, but you knew that. [:)]

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Fini-

You do realize that you will rot in hell? Don't you? And strange bitey things will be attached to your "Man Parts" to make sure your agony is complete. Your wife an I have been exchanging ideas on this for quite a while now....Hahahhahahahaha. Daganabbit, you wouldn't believe how vivid an imagination your wife has....Or would you?

Toodles and a Very Happy New Year.

Clu

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......I have come to truly respect the collective wisdom here.....

I may have to rethink this point. [^o)]

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