Gosh-darn Good Fun for The Whole Family Thread

[thebes]

Some of you may have noticed that thanks to a courageous expose of close-held Klipsch Corporation secrets the monitors have placed a targeting carrot over the forehead of my avatar.

At first I laughed off their not so subtle attempt at physiological intimidation. However a week with a bullseye painted over one head can get a man to thinking.

I had noticed lately that aside from very technical discussion there was little content of the forum that would be entertaining for the whole family. Why what better way for me to weasel, er, ease myself into Corporates good graces then starting a wholesome, entertaining, silly and fun thread that the whole family can play.

Well kids here it is, just what you've been waiting for, yes, that's the....

Silly Lyrics Thread

Let's face it folks, half the song lyrics ever written are silly as a goose.

So get the popcorn out, gather the whole family together. So what do you say gang!!!! Let's have some jolly good fun!!!!!

Oh yes, I 'll start it off

There's an old Australian stockman, lying, dying,

and he gets himself up on one elbow,

and he turns to his mates,

who are gathered 'round him and he says:

Watch me wallabys feed mate.

Watch me wallabys feed.

They're a dangerous breed mate.

So watch me wallabys feed.

Altogether now!

Tie me kangaroo down sport,

tie me kangaroo down.

Tie me kangaroo down sport,

tie me kangaroo down.

Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,

keep me cockatoo cool.

Don't go acting the fool, Curl,

just keep me cockatoo cool.

Altogether now!

Take me koala back, Jack,

take me koala back.

He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac,

so take me koala back.

Altogether now!

Let me Abos go loose, Lou, *

let me Abos go loose.

They're of no further use, Lou,

so let me Abos go loose.

Altogether now!

Mind me platypus duck, Bill,

mind me platypus duck.

Don't let him go running amok, Bill,

mind me platypus duck.

Altogether now!

Play your digeridoo, Blue,

play your digeridoo.

Keep playing 'til I shoot thro' Blue,

play your digerydoo.

Altogether now!

Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred,

tan me hide when I'm dead.

So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde,

(Spoken) And that's it hanging on the shed.

Altogether now!

© 1960 Castle Music Pty, Ltd.

Words and music by Rolf Harris

Silly Lyrics Thread

[Klipsched with Yamahas]

O geez, Thebes, don't get me started.........PLEASE! I can be very dangerous in the "sillyness" department. O, that's right, FAMILY HOUR!

OK, I'll be on my best behavior this time [:#] But I am disappointed you didn't provide bars and notes to accompany the lyrics.[]

Please no pics of CHEERS or JAILHOUSE IRON! U know what I mean!

[pete almquist]

hah, now you got me thinking. i remember hearing years ago a song that has some humorous verses. but i cant seem to find any of the lyrics online. the stanza is: fire, fire, fire down below. let's bring a pail of water boys, there's fire down below. one of the verses has something about a crow in the crow'snest pooping on the poopdeck. as a kid i thought it was hilarious! please help me out here...who did that song? was it kingston trio?

pete

[thebes]

Well jiminy cricket Pete, that one's teasing at the edge of my brain and if I come up with it I'll post it here.

I surprised that no one wants to show the kids some good clean fun. Just think of a silly song and I'm sure you'll find the lyrics online. gee willikers just like this one:

[garymd]

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat (alternate version)
Submitted by Claudia Anderson, Girl Scout Junior Troop 690, Goodyear, Arizona

Propel, Propel, Propel your craft
Placidly down the liquid solution
Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
Existence is but an illusion.

[garymd]

I didn't know turtles nerped....

Old MacDonald had a farm,
E-I-E-I-O.

And on his farm he had some chicks,
E-I-E-I-O.

With a chick, chick here,
And a chick, chick there,
Here a chick, there a chick,
Everywhere a chick, chick,

Old MacDonald had a farm,
E-I-E-I-O.

2. Duck - quack
3. Turkey - gobble
4. Pig - oink, oink
5. Cow - moo, moo
6. Cat -meow, meow
7. Mule - Heehaw
8. Dog - bow wow
9. Turtle - nerp, nerp

[Spongeworthy]

I have one that is much sillier. Me and the kids have a nice liitle singalong to this song, Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nails, for a family favorite. Usually, my youngest is so overcome and happy that she cries. Enjoy!!

I hurt myself today

To see see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

the only thing that's real

the needle tears a hole

the old familiar sting

try to kill it all away

but i remember everything

Chorus:

What have I become

my sweetest friend

everyone I know

Goes away

in the end

and you could have it all

my empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns

upon my liar's chair

full of broken thoughts

I can not repair

beneath the stains of time

the feelings disappera

you are someone else

I am still hear

If I could start again

a million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way

[pauln]

The English play a similar game by changing the inflection of popular song titles to change the meaning. The classic example is:

Original Song Title: "What is this funny thing called love?"

Altered Version: "What is this funny thing called, love?" (Funnier in England...)

[thebes]

Jumpin jeosiphat, I almost forgot about this one:

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage

Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage

Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



All ya gotta do is put your mind to it

Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it



Well, ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool

Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool

Ya can't go swimmin' in a baseball pool

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



Ya can't change film with a kid on your back

Ya can't change film with a kid on your back

Ya can't change film with a kid on your back

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car

Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car

Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



All ya gotta do is put your mind to it

Knuckle down, buckle down do it, do it, do it



Well, ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch

Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch

Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch

But you can be happy if you've a mind to



Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

SPOKEN: "Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd"



FADE

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

[pete almquist]

hee hee,

i used to have a girl-friend who was a bit dippy and naive. we both liked the def leppard song 'love bites'. the hilarious part is she thought it was talking about love bites, you know the nipping kind... i didn't disabuse her of the idea... ; )

[BEC]

OK, I will contribute this one.  

Put The Lime In The Coconut(By HARRY NILSSON)

Brother bought a coconut

He bought it for a dime.

His sister had another one *

She trade it for the lime.

She put the lime in the coconut

she drank them both up.

x3

she put the lime in the coconut

she called the doctor, woke him up, and said

"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"

I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"

I said, "Doctor ain't there nothing I can take"

I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"

Now let me get this straight; 

You put the lime in the coconut

You drank them both up 

You put the lime in the coconut, 

You drank them both up 

put the lime in the coconut, 

you drank them both up

put the lime in the coconut,

called your doctor, woke him up, and said, 

"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take" 

I said, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?" 

I said, Doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take" 

I said, Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"

You put the lime in the coconut, you drink them both together, 

put the lime in the cocount, then you'll feel better. 

Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up, 

Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning."

Brother bought a coconut

He bought it for a dime.

His sister had another one *

She paid it for the lime.

She put the lime in the coconut

she drank them both up.

she put the lime in the coconut

She called the doctor, woke him up, and said *

"Doctor, ain't there nothing I can take"

I said, "Doctor, to relieve this belly ache?"

I said, "Doctor ain't there nothing I can take"

I said, "Doctor"

Now let me get this straight; 

You put the lime in the coconut

You drank them both up 

put the lime in the coconut, 

You drink them both up 

put the lime in the coconut, *

you drink them both up

put the lime in the coconut, *

you're such a silly woman, 

put a lime in the coconut,

and drink them both together,

put the lime in the coconut,

then you'll feel better.

put the lime in the coconut,

drink them both down,

put the lime in the coconut,

and call me in the morning

Ooh, ain't there nothing you can take *

I said oooh to relieve your belly ache *

You say all oooh ain't there nothing i can take *

I said oooh to relieve your belly ache *

You say yaaah ain't there nothing i can take *

I said wow to relieve this belly ache *

I said doctor ain't there nothing i can take *

x3

i said don't know *

you're such a silly woman *

Put the lime in the coconut *

and drink them both together *

Put the lime in the coconut *

then you feel better *

Put the lime in the coconut *

and drink them both up *

Put the lime in the coconut *

and call me in the moooorning *

Yes, you call in the morning *

If you call me in the morning *

I tell you what to do *

If you call me in the morning  *

I tell you what to do ... *

[pete almquist]

ahh,

i used to love roger miller! havent heard that in a long while although a couple years back i picked up an album of his greatest hits. has anyone figured out who did the song fire down below? not talking about bob seeger either...

[pete almquist]

'in 1814 we took a little trip

along with kernal' jackson down the mighty missisip'.

we took a little bacon and we took a little beans

and we met the bloody british in a town near new orleans.

(chorus) we fired our guns but the british kept a'comin'

there weren't quite as many as there was a while ago.

we fired once more and they began a'runnin'

down the mississippi to the gulf of mexico.'

2nd verse...

3rd verse,

we fired our guns until the barrels melted down

then we grabbed an alligator and fired another round.

we filled his mouth with pebbles and powdered his behind

and when we lit the powder off

the gator lost his mind.

(chorus)

[Klipsched with Yamahas]

Cheech 'n Chong....."Up in Smoke"

Sorry.....ADULT CONTENT and not appropriate for this thread; however, anything from the "Wedding Album", like "Earache My Eye" would definitely apply:

Duh-duh-dun, Duh-duh-dun,......dun-dun-dun!

[Mallette]

When I was a child there was a hymn I particularly related to. Made me feel safe, warm, and fuzzy. However, the theology eludes me even today. I recall the title as "Gladly, the Cross-eyed Bear."

The words made no sense at all...

Dave

[pete almquist]

watch out where the huskies go,

and don't you eat that yellow snow!

f. zappa

[Speedball]

An old guy I used to work with was proud to say: Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross eyed mosquitos and four legged ants....[] He was a kind, but odd fellow.lol.

[Amy]

Sorry about the forgotten avatar, thebes. I'll yell at Trey for you.

But to participate...the best I can come up with at this early hour:

On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor,
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden and under a bush,
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.

The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don't ever sneeze.

[Seadog]

Here's a crazy one.

Now, I know a little ditty,
It's as crazy as can be.
The guy who wrote it said he wanted it,
And handed it to me.
I found I couldn't use it
Because it sounded blue,
And that's the very reason why
I'm handing it to you.

It's a song the alligators sing
While coming through the rye,
As they serenade the elephants
Up in the trees so high.
The iceman hums this ditty
As he shovels in the cold,
And the monkeys join the chorus
Up around the nothern pole.

Ain't we crazy,
Ain't we crazy,
This is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy,
Ain't we crazy,
We're going to sing this song all night today.

It was midnight on the ocean,
Not a streetcar was in sight,
And the sun was shining brightly,
For it rained all day that night.
'Twas a summer night in winter,
And the rain was snowing fast,
And a barefoot boy with shoes on
Stood a-sitting in the grass.

It was evening, and the rising sun
Was setting in the west.
The little fishes in the trees
Were huddled in their nest.
The rain was pouring down
And the moon was shining bright,
And everything that you could see
Was hidden out of sight.

While the organ peeled potatoes,
Lard was rendered by the choir.
The sexton rung the dishrag,
Someone set the church on fire.
"Holy smoke!" The preacher shouted.
In the rain he lost his hair.
Now his head resembles heaven,
For there is no parting there.

The cows were making cowslips
And the bells were ringing wet,
And the bumblebees were making bums
And smoking cigarettes.
And a man slept in a stable
And came out a little ho(a)rse,
So he hopped upon his golf sticks
And drove all around the course.

Ain't we crazy,
Ain't we crazy,
This is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy,
Ain't we crazy,
We're goin' to sing this song all night today.

It was midnight on the ocean,
Not a horsecar was in sight
As I stepped into the drugstore
To get myself a light.
The man behind the counter
Was a woman old and gray
Who used to peddle shoestrings
On the road to Mandalay.

"Good evening, sir," the woman said,
And her eyes were bright with tears
As she put her head beneath her feet
And stood that way for years.
Her children, six, were orphans,
Except one tiny tot
Who lived in a house across the street
Above a vacant lot.

Ain't we crazy,
Ain't we crazy,
But this is the way we pass the time away.
Ain't we crazy,
Ain't we crazy,
We're going to sing this song all night today.

[sredmyer]

A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
And the loveliest of all was the unicorn

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn

The Lord seen some sinning and it gave Him pain
And He says, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain"
He says, "Hey Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo,
and take some of those...

Green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget My unicorns

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the ark just as the rain started to fall
He marched the animals two by two
And he called out as they came through
Hey Lord,

I've got green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just can't find no unicorns"

And Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was falling
Oh, them silly unicorns

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, "Close the door because the rain is falling
And we just can't wait for no unicorns"

The ark started moving, it drifted with the tide
The unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
That's why you never see unicorns to this very day

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no unicorns

Now you might think this is the ending to the song,
But I'll have to tell you friends that in fact you're wrong
You see, Unicorns are magical, so when the rain started pouring,
They grew themselves some wings and they took to soaring.

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
But if you're looking for the unicorns, don't be forlorn,
The second star to the right and straight on until morning