m00n Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" He answers, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to sh1t when you hear the price." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEAR Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 LOL Good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynnm Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Too true! I love a good fart joke. Better yet, I enjoy a good fart! I hate holdin' 'em back...too painful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skonopa Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 ---------------- On 3/17/2003 2:04:00 PM jt1stcav wrote: Too true! I love a good fart joke. Better yet, I enjoy a good fart! I hate holdin' 'em back...too painful! ---------------- I guess what I like to say about my Klipsch and the style of music I like to listen to can also apply to farts - Play it Hard, Play it Loud. Unfortunatly, don't play it to hard - you may end up with a surprise in your underpants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasN00b Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 *vomit* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Favog Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 The definition of a "suprise"? A fart with a lump in it... My do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy em'... A man and his wife are sitting at a bar next to a man who is passing gas. A minute later the husband gets in the face of the other and says..."How dare you fart before my wife!!" The man replies "Sorry Sir, I didn't know it was her turn." As my father said "Better bear the shame than bear the pain..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted March 17, 2003 Author Share Posted March 17, 2003 ---------------- On 3/17/2003 4:50:01 PM tblasing wrote: The definition of a "suprise"? A fart with a lump in it... ---------------- LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenratboy Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 ---------------- On 3/17/2003 2:04:00 PM jt1stcav wrote: Too true! I love a good fart joke. Better yet, I enjoy a good fart! I hate holdin' 'em back...too painful! ---------------- Yes and yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sj993 Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 LOL! That was a good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike82 Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Good one, mOOn. LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted March 17, 2003 Share Posted March 17, 2003 Farts can be fun! When you feel one ready to bubble out, lift up one of your legs to your side and lean forward in the opposite direction. When you blow up a balloon and let the air escape from its valve by stretching it apart tightly (and the air squeeks out long and loud)...well, that's how your farts sound by doing the above proceedure. Lot's of fun at family gettogethers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted March 17, 2003 Author Share Posted March 17, 2003 jt1stcav..... The flatulence coach. Now I have heard of everything. Well, hears to ya coach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 The flatulence coach...has a nice ring to it, thanks m00n. Next time you're at a Chinese buffet and you eat too much hot & spicey chicken, and afterwards you feel like you gotta rip one, wait until you're walking out to your car. Then remember to "lift 'n' lean". You're wife and kids will get a kick out of it...trust me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted March 18, 2003 Author Share Posted March 18, 2003 They already do... My 2 year old... Anytime he hears someone, anyone fart, immediatly coming out of his mouth is "Da Da". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 Smart lil' boy! My dad taught me the fine art of passing wind. Now he's an expert...he can shift his weight ever so slightly while seated in a chair, and commence to blasting out a long, continuous fart! Sometimes, he has the control to be able to strech out the fart's duration to 15 seconds or more, without a single break! He just turned 63 the other day, so now he's officially an "old fart". And my mom hates washing his boxers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kain Posted March 19, 2003 Share Posted March 19, 2003 LOL! That's a good one. I enjoy a good 'ol fart too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gregorius Posted March 19, 2003 Share Posted March 19, 2003 I can remember my Grandpa having me "pull his finger" and crack one off. The sad part is now I do it to my grandson. Regards, Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted March 19, 2003 Author Share Posted March 19, 2003 Greg, that is just part of our culture. Kinda like hot dogs, apple pie and chevy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skonopa Posted March 19, 2003 Share Posted March 19, 2003 Somewhere buried on my home network, I have a program called "The Flatulance Machine" that one of my friends e-mailed to me. Hearing some serious farts ripped over the ProMedias, now that is funny! Hell, ought to run a cable to the stereo and see how well and dynamic a fart sounds on the RF-7s . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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