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About T2K

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  1. I like donuts. I like guitar music too. Keith
  2. I understand your pontification but the self-promotion of old was largely stopped. It had nothing to do with moderators. I'm not sure what the reference is but things are different now. But I don't hang out here as much as I once did. Keith
  3. You should have been here years ago Maynard. That's why I no longer have tube equipment. And you would have thought he resided in the heavens by reading here. Keith
  4. I unplug all my equipment.
  5. I going out on a limb and saying they're KG4's.
  6. Speaking of seclusion... I always thought a completely deserted beautiful beach would be nice. But it's not. Maybe under certain circumstances it would have been nice. I can think of a few. Hummm .....
  7. Thanks JohnJ. I'm a regular old guy that's put up with a lot of $hit. It's all in the attitude. I try to reject things that affect my happiness. BigStew is in a funk but he's a tuff guy. I was just trying to motivate him by telling him how bad things can be. We all should count our blessings more often. Keith
  8. Since I no longer have a truck I am unable to transport large items. The jealous new computer husband has helped me on several occasions hauling patio furniture, storage racks for the garage and the like. Another trip in the morning. I'll just stay up for that. I dropped by the other day and he was pressure washing his driveway. He drops whatever he may be doing to help me. I noticed he didn't have a surface cleaner. He'll have one in a few days. I've never depended on anyone in my life. It's hard to drop the independent life and accept help from others. I'm working on it. I never forget when someone voluntarily helps me. Get up off dat a$$ Stew and help yourself. I'll help you anyway I can. Keith
  9. At the 'Orientation' at the CTC last fall I filed out probably 14 pages of Q & A about my entire life. After that an RN asks probably 100 questions about your answers and taps them into the computer. She asks what stresses I have in my life and I respond 'none, absolutely no stress whatsoever'. She looks up and asks me what I mean by that. So I tell her. Over the 8 months I tell no one of my condition. The immediate family knows of course but I felt like no one needed the burden or the words to say if I shared. What do you say? I didn't want to talk about it. Except for my sister-in-law. I talked to her often. She offered words of encouragement and I just generally enjoy BSing with her. She's almost as full of $hit as I am. A few months ago we're talking and she asks me about a problem she's having with her computer. I told her I knew nothing about computers. I still use a piece of slate and a chisel, which is close to the truth. Anyway, thinking later I think of our conversations and that she was genuinely concerned for me. I thought that I could in fact help her as she had helped me. So I go and buy her a new laptop. I thought she was not going to accept it. I told her that I never forget someone that voluntarily helps me and that I wanted to do something for her, just as she had helped me. She loves her new laptop. Keith
  10. Since I'm retired now I do things and see things that I never had time to see or do before. I notice things in my house that I really hadn't had time to notice before. I like trivial tasks. I enjoy dusting furniture. I enjoy vacuuming lamp shades. It hit me a few weeks ago how yellow the lights bulbs were in lamps and ceiling fixtures. I bought probably 40 LED Daylight bulbs and replaced every bulb in the house. Now you have to wear sunglasses if you come inside. My sight and my memory were affected by the chemo. They call it chemo brain. The doctor said it affects short term memory. Or was it long term memory? (joke for you slow people). I can't remember some words (no joke) while conversating but I can remember names from 40 years ago, which is alright with me. A few weeks ago I accompanied my wife to the grocery store 1/2 mile from my house. She was thrilled, of course. I had never been in that store before. She needed something like bread and milk. Being helpful as I am, we left with New York strips, bone in rib eyes, Cracker Jacks, chocolate covered raisins, watermelon, Thai food from the deli, Bush Chipotle beans, eggs for potato salad and I can't remember what else. I need the protein. Now when I wake up and she's not here I know she probably had to go to the grocery and didn't want to wake me up. I hope she can get by without my help. So we're checking out. There's a line. A woman walks up and says to me 'Sir' customer service right down there will check you out, pointing her finger. We walk down and there stands a strapping young man, probably late 20's. He didn't look very happy. I ask if I may call him Cust. He says, what? I tell him that a woman told us that Customer Service would check us out (someone in the background mutters 'Oh God'). He stares at me as I tell him that Customer Service is an odd name but that I thought nothing of it because my name was Will Call and he could call me Will. His face appeared to be porcelain. Sometimes you fail. But that's no excuse. Keith
  11. If you'll buy round-trip airfare for me I can fix you in less than one minute. One good kick in the a$$ and you'll be good to go. I never share my own personal business with anyone, just the closest of friends, but since I know where you are I'll hit the high spots. Every bit the truth. I worked in an office for 7 years after screwing up an opportunity at med school. I then went to work for the next 43 years. Thanks to my Dad when I was 16 years old I became shamefully independent. I have never asked anyone for help yet I never forget those that help me. I decided to seek a job that required physical rather than mental challenges. Ended up with a job that required both. I retired at 60. Everywhere I went some person that was not retired and has never retired told me all about retirement. It still happens today. No one will understand the freedom and peace of mind that accompanies retirement. I worked on call 24/7. No one will understand that until they do it. I'm hard headed. I love a challenge. I'm just stupid enough to attempt the impossible. But I worked hard and now I have no worries. I feel Blessed, and lucky. Within a week of retirement I loaded 2 large black lawn bags with work related stuff, anything that reminded me of work, and threw it out. I told myself that I would no longer worry about the trivial stuff that we all let ourselves worry about. I decided that I would be happy. I worked on that. I'm as happy as I can be. But I've never ben too bashful. I don't wake up with a smile on my face every day but I'm happy. See I fell off a high cliff. I went from high demands to freedom. It's called retirement. Then, one year to the day after I retired I had a triple by-pass. At the time I was lean and mean. The bypass didn't slow me down. I never saw doctors other than the routine primary care guy that I saw every 6 months for over 30 years. Health issues were totally new to me. I really didn't realize that my job had prepared me for what was about to come. Six months after the bypass I had a heart attack. Caused by a blockage in one of the bypasses. Stent. I put up with the pain in my chest and, even worse, my left arm for over a week. The pain built slowly and I was use to a pain in the a$$. I, stupid as I am, went to the EM at 1;00 am and they fixed me up. Two years go by. Since I pushed myself at work and unknowingly worked myself into decent physical condition, not withstanding that I have an interest in the human condition, I was in tune with my body. Last September I went my Cardiologist for a 6 month check-up. After the doctor stuff he asked me how I had been doing. I gave him a couple of experiences that had happened over the last several months. He asked me what I thought it was. I told him that I thought it was either pneumonia or lung cancer. He set up a chest x-ray. After 2 opinions It turned out to be option B. From November until this May I put up with chemo and radiation. I lasted longer than most according to my oncologist and the doctor guy at the c**c** treatment center (I have no respect for the word). I was low. Real low for a guy with my attitude (doctors). One morning I was sitting on my screen porch drinking shitty tasting coffee thinking that I could not stand 2 more months of this treatment. If you knew me you would know that my Superman male nucleus was cracking, and I wondered where and how I would stop the pain. Old me kicked in and I asked for another kick in the nuts. Please. In May I find out the c**cer is gone. I also find out that I have a lung infection caused by too much radiation. I'm taking steroids and can't sleep. For days. I finally figured out what was causing my inability to sleep. My arms are as big around as telephone polls and I can't roll over (joke). I can't do much but I am finally doing things around the house. I give out after 15-20 minutes and have to rest. I'll take it. I'm still breathing and getting a check that I worked for. I visited my pulmonary doctor a few days ago. After 1 minute of my mouth running 197 miles per hour he interrupts me and says he has got to reduce the steroids. My wife thanked him. I told him that, although it may seem strange, I had actually almost enjoyed the experience. I learned first hand how the poisons had affected my body. The experience had intrigued me. He didn't think that was strange at all. Now here you are talking about how unhappy you are. You just need a good kick in the a$$. I'm going to get real personal now, but I'm not getting into religion. Our purpose here is to help each other. I accept my mortality. We'll all experience it. When I got to the lowest point in my life I prayed for a sign and the strength that I needed to help myself tolerate the suffering. Three different times over a period of weeks. One morning I sat up in the bed when I heard someone speaking. Like one of those possessed people on a horror movie, sat straight up. The first time it was early, still dark. Minutes or hours later, same thing. The third time, still dark. The words were clear and distinct. There was no tone to the voice. I was alone in the bedroom. I fell back to sleep in a minute or two. The words were my words. The words were words I had spoken in my prayer for help for my wife. The words were few and to the point. After a couple of days It hi me. There was no voice. The words came from me. Inside of me. Where God resides, inside each of us. Our purpose here is to help each other. I last went to church 40 years ago. That ain't what you're getting here. Besides, I'm analytical. Get off that a$$. Get out there and pull you share of the load. Strike up a conversation with a stranger. People are generally friendly and will be receptive to you. Brighten others day and yours will illuminate too. I love you man. Take care of yourself. Take that first step. Keith
  12. Laying there on the slab I was fully aware of everything going on around me. About 8 guys in the room all dressed in white, each dutifully doing their job. Two doctors stood over me speaking quietly amongst themselves. All of a sudden I feel my body lurch into the air while simultaneously hearing someone making a deep abdominal grunt, something akin to a grizzly bear huff. Then, there's nothing but blackness. I can actually still remember seeing total blackness. Then nothing. A fraction of a second? Longer? I don't know. Later, much later, my wife said that while waiting she really grew concerned because it was taking so long. Finally the doctor came out and told her that I was fine, he wasn't going to let anything happen to me. During a follow-up visit weeks later I told him of my experience. He was reading his chart as I spoke. When I got to the part about hearing them converse I said I could hear them discussing Lamborghinis. That head snapped up from the chart and he denied that they were discussing Lambo's. I told him I was just making sure he was listening, giving him more details that I have mentioned here. He told me that my heart had stopped and that he had shocked me. Then there was the time ..... It's a test Jordan. If you can, walk out in the back yard and, taking a wide stance, look upward and shout laughingly as loud as you can 'G**Da**it, is that all you've got. May I have another pleease sir''. During my trials and tribulations I always thought of leaving my wife alone, and her suffering. Not minimizing your loss, but things can be replaced. Lately I've been buying things I know my wife wants but never asks for. I'm trying to pay her back for all that she's done for me, which I can never do. My friend went thru the same thing you are going thru a few years ago. It was a pain in his a$$ but he persevered. I am telepathically sending you a dose of my wealth of learned patience. I loved my experiences and treasure them. My wife and I are closer now more than ever. She asked for a new sofa. She got that and more. Think of this as an opportunity. May God Bless y'all as he has me during your challenges in life. Keith
  13. Consider it my gift to you dtel.
  14. Congratulations Full Range. Cancer strikes 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women. If any one has explained how and why cancer is hard to cure then you know those cells are indeed sneaky little bastards. Keith